Chapter 32
Thirty Two
Kaden
The light woke me first. It sliced through the window, announcing a day I wasn’t ready to face. I would much rather stay in bed, ignoring the responsibilities waiting for me. The second thing, though, was the weight of Val’s hand resting peacefully on my chest – an anchor holding me down.
I lay as still as possible, so as not to wake her. The body beside me was warm, soft, and looked like an angel in her sleep. I turned my head slightly so I could watch her. Her face was peaceful, the lines of tension and old nightmares had been erased.
Removing the rope clinging to Val’s body last night was a moment between us I wished I could hold onto forever. The look of freedom sparkling in her eye, the imprints of the rope forming in her skin, was beautiful. Last night, I held her weight, suspended between two worlds.
Today? I simply held her.
My gaze dropped down to her arms, the faint marks left by the rope were fading patterns against her pale skin, but they were still slightly visible. Physical proof she had given me all of her.
Taking Val to explore shibari felt like a high stakes risk in our dynamic.
Her history demanded perfection. My oath demanded I be her ultimate protector, and she was required to surrender completely.
If I had failed, if any knot had slipped or been deemed unworthy, or worst of all, the memory of her past overwhelmed her, I could have shattered it all.
Val had taken so many great strides in healing and here I was still holding her on a pedestal, worried with one wrong move she could shatter into a million pieces. I needed to trust myself as much as she trusted me and stop letting my past hinder my future.
You’re not a real man. Isabella’s words attempted to cut through and ruin the moment.
I never wanted to admit to anyone some of the things she would say to me.
Perhaps fate had dictated this exact outcome.
She would cut me down, and I would work hard to build myself back up, immersing every spare moment into the gym.
I glanced back over to Val. We worked, we built each other up and cheered each other on.
I couldn’t have asked for a better partner.
She was a survivor, and when I heard her euphoric cry, I knew the truth had taken hold: she was no longer powerless.
She was no longer submitting to her abuse.
Seeing her suspended in what most would think was a helpless way, was a fierce command with her choice.
Grasping her hand in mine, I traced along her soft skin with my thumb.
“My love,” I mumbled, keeping my voice low.
I needed to check-in and ensure her mind was back in her body and she was fully grounded.
I also needed her to drink water before I got her coffee, a task I knew would prove quite a challenge.
Val stirred instantly, her eyes blinking open slowly, quickly finding mine. There was no confusion or panic, only a serene recognition defining our connection.
She cleared her throat. “Kaden.” Her words came out as a whisper.
“Good morning, beautiful.” I smiled and brushed a lock of hair away from her cheek. “How are you?”
Val reached up and stretched deeply. “I’m here.” She smiled. “Just quiet.”
I nodded. “Quiet is good. What about your body?”
“It all aches perfectly, she admitted. “Like I spent a night fighting instead of running.” She tilted her head toward the faint marks left on her skin.
Pulling her hand up to my lips, I kissed up her arm. “The rope held you where the rest of the world couldn’t, and you did amazing.”
Her eyes were suddenly shining with emotion.
“I just keep thinking... I spent countless hours in the studio, posing, faking the feelings in front of a camera, trying to make shibari look sexy or dangerous depending on what I was instructed. It was all so hollow, and I was so naive. Last night, I discovered the truth.” She paused.
“I could let go because I knew your knots were stronger than my fear.”
Those words hit like a blow to my chest. They wiped away any lingering doubt I had.
My desire for dominance had always been terrifyingly close to my history of feeling powerless.
In the past, it was just a role. Looking back, it was probably just a performance, even though it all felt so real.
Val had provided me with the vessel to channel the energy into something responsible.
She was healing parts of me I didn’t even fully realize were broken.
We were both broken and together we had been able to heal each other without force.
I shifted, pulling her closer to me and kissed her forehead. I stroked her hair, letting the silence settle for a few moments. “It seems like you’re finally getting the peace you have been chasing for the past several years.” I kissed her forehead again. “Do you know how knowing this affects me?”
“It makes you horny?” She began to laugh uncontrollably.
I rolled over and pinned her to the bed. “It’s more than that,” I said, clearing my throat. “It focuses the chaos. My desire for control, the drive making me push myself to the breaking point at the gym, the need for constant order at work. All of it finally has a purpose.”
“Everything is just so real. I never want it to stop.” Val smiled, toying with her collar, tracing over the chain. ”Last night it all clicked. I’m not just dating Kaden the fighter, I belong to the Kaden who keeps me safe from the world and safe from myself.”
Her words settled heavily. I closed my eyes for a moment savoring the deep, mutual understanding we had for each other.
This was the true intimacy I had longed for.
I held her for a few more minutes, soaking in the quiet aftermath, before the more disciplined voice began to take over.
As much as I wanted to stay in bed all day, there was a world outside my bedroom beckoning for me to join it.
I leaned in and kissed Val deeply and tenderly. “I have to get ready to go, my love.” I got out of bed, her expression was soft and yet full of pride. “I’ve gotta start training if I’m going to kick Mark’s ass in our fight.”
“Has he responded?” she asked excitedly.
I glanced down at my phone to see if there were any text messages to indicate a yes or no answer. “Not yet, but I need to be ready.”
Val sat up. “I’ll get ready to go back to my place.”
Shaking my head, I responded, “No, you should stay.” I smiled. “I’ll send you food, you can just stay in bed all day watching Gilmore Girls or whatever it is you girls are watching on repeat these days.” I winked at her.
“Are you sure?” She snuggled back in and I could tell it wasn’t going to take much more convincing.
I blew her a kiss and got ready for a long day of work and training. “I’ll see you when I get home.”
???
Today the echoes of my fist meeting the bags sounded different. They were crisper, with more purpose than they had before.
Sure, I had been training with Arlo for weeks leading up to challenging Mark, but now it was a reality. It had been far too long since I had trained for anything aside from making sure I didn’t lose the knowledge I had and to help my clients prepare for their own fights.
Soon after I started warming up, Arlo came rushing over with a shit eaten grin plastered across his face. “Look at this.” He pulled up his social media feed.
Sure enough, Mark had responded by sending out a post for all to see: “It’s time I take a new title. Don’t worry, Val, I’ll make sure Kaden retires once and for all.”.
His written words made my blood boil. How dare he call out Val’s name? Apparently Arlo could tell I was getting heated. “Hey man, it’s okay, he’s just spouting off trying to instigate a reaction from you.”
I slammed my fist into the bag. “I know man, and don’t worry, I won’t stoop to his level.” Even though I wanted to threaten to tear him limb to limb.
Arlo agreed. “Just focus on the training and let the trash take itself out.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, we both couldn’t stop laughing. “What? A middle school burn?”
“Hey,” he held his hands up in defeat, “I’m just serving up sides for his main course.”
Did I understand what Arlo was going on about? No. Thankfully, his fighting and training skills were much better than his comebacks. Suddenly, an idea sparked. “What if we donate the money raised to a charity for domestic violence survivors?”
Arlo pondered for a minute before responding. “What a great idea. I’ll make the necessary arrangements and get all the information to the advertisers. Now, get back to work.”