14. Hadley
Hadley
Boyfriend.
The word has been looping through my mind on repeat since lunch. I’m not even sure how I made it through the rest of the workday. Not productively, that’s for sure.
I debate calling an emergency girls’ night with Paige, but she’s supposed to be at a fundraiser with her family tonight. She would ditch it in a heartbeat, but then her dad would be mad.
No, I’m on my own. Bryce is attending the women’s hockey game with a few guys from the team, and honestly, I need some time to process, so I’m not even mad that he’s unavailable right now.
Doesn’t stop me from walking around the house with my phone in my hand, though. In case he texts.
Ugh! This was supposed to be friendly! I was supposed to meet him for coffee, and realize he’s got some terrible habit, or is a kleptomaniac, or… I don’t know. Something that would let me walk away feeling like I dodged a bullet.
I take out a notebook and flip to a fresh page.
There’s only one thing to do when my thoughts are all over the place like this. I need a good old-fashioned pros and cons list.
I grab my sparkly purple pen and draw a line down the center of the page. On the left, I write ‘pros,’ and on the right, ‘cons’.
I tap the pen on my cheek while I think.
He lives in Denver. Con.
He listens when I talk and doesn’t make everything about himself. Definite pro.
His family is nice. Even if they do ruthlessly tease each other.
I stare at the page for a second, unsure which column to put that in. Eventually, I put it in the middle.
I can be my awkward self with him. He makes me feel seen. He smells good. All pros.
Long-distance relationships are hard. Con.
I don’t understand hockey. He’s going to stop thinking that’s cute, eventually. Con.
A voice that sounds suspiciously like Paige’s whispers in my head, “You could learn.”
I sit back on the couch, tucking my feet beneath me. Apparently, my head and my heart are no longer on speaking terms.
My phone rings. I snatch it off the couch and see my sister is video-calling me. Which means it’s probably one of my nieces.
I hit accept and smile as Eloise’s sweet face fills the screen.
“Aunt Hadley, guess what?” she asks, the phone screen bouncing around as she jumps up and down.
“Goodness girl, sit still before you make Aunt Hadley seasick,” my sister says from somewhere near the phone.
“Sorry, Aunt Hadley,” she says, holding the phone more steady.
“It’s okay, sweet pea. What’s got you so excited? Did your dad buy you a new car?” I ask, teasing her.
She sighs. “You know I am too little to drive,” she says. “Besides, it’s better than that!”
Oh to be a kid! “What could be better than that?”
She grins, showing me all her teeth. Well, most of them, anyway. “You lost a tooth!”
She nods her head. “I did! Mommy helped me put it under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy.”
“Wow, that is exciting,” I tell her. “What are you hoping the Tooth Fairy brings you?”
“I hope she brings me candy money.”
“It’s the Tooth Fairy. I’m pretty sure she has a contract with the dentist that says her money can’t be used for candy,” Arthur says. “Hi, Hadley.”
“Hi,” I say.
“It’s time to get ready for bed, El,” he says. “The sooner you’re asleep, the sooner the Tooth Fairy can come.”
“Yes!” she says. “Bye, Aunt Hadley.”
“Don’t hang up,” Evy calls.
The phone camera points to the ceiling as Eloise gives it to her mom.
“Hey,” my sister says. “What are you up to tonight?”
I glance at the notebook beside me on the couch. “Not much.”
“Hadley Elizabeth Hughes! You have that guilty look you get when you’re trying to hide something,” Evy says.
“Don’t use your mom voice on me,” I complain. “You know I hate that.”
“Then don’t make me,” she says.
Should I share this with my sister? I glance at the pros and cons list. That’s not helping, and I could use someone on my side. I’m almost positive Paige will start a Pinterest board with hockey-themed wedding ideas as soon as she hears that the ‘b’ word was spoken.
“Okay,” I say, finally relenting. “I may have met someone.”
“I KNEW it!” Evy shouts.
“Everything okay in there?” Arthur calls from far away.
“Yep! I’m going to the back porch,” Evy calls back. “Hang on,” she tells me.
I wait until she’s outside before saying anything else. “Don’t get too excited,” I say when she’s finally sitting down.
“Wait,” she says, deflating a bit. “I thought you said you met someone. Why wouldn’t I get excited about that, Hadley?”
I debate whether I should lead with him being a pro hockey player, or go right for the fact that he lives halfway across the country.
“Hadley?”
“Sorry, just trying to decide where to start.”
“How about you start from the beginning? Arthur’s putting the girls to bed tonight. We’ve got time.”
So I do. I tell her about the bookstore. Meeting him for coffee. How we talked about everything and nothing and he just… listened. By the time I’m done, my sister has a dreamy look in her eye.
“You’re in love,” she says.
“Wait, what?” I ask. “Did you miss the part where he doesn’t live here and he plays hockey? Dad would be beside himself. And Mom? Don’t even get me started on how she’s going to react.”
Evy waits for me to finish my spiral. “Dad would figure it out. He would probably research the history of hockey and know more about the game than Bryce before too long. Mom just wants you to be happy.”
I shake my head. “No, she wants me to be happy in Maryland. Besides, I love DC. I don’t think I’d be happy in Colorado.”
Evy laughs. “First of all, you haven’t ever been to Colorado. You might love it. Secondly, Mom would get over it. Besides, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. Has he asked you to move?”
I shake my head. “No, of course not. His sister’s the one who mentioned the ‘b’ word. He didn’t deny it, but we haven’t had a chance to talk since.”
“Listen, I think he sounds sweet. And you glow when you’re talking about him. That’s not something that you let go of because of a few logistical concerns.”
“I don’t even know much about hockey. What if I don’t fit in with his life?” I ask, voicing my fear.
“Hadley, you’re smart. You’ll learn. Does he want someone who follows the hockey players around like meal tickets?”
I shake my head. “No. That doesn’t seem like his style.”
“See,” she says softly. “It sounds like you two have a connection. A real connection.”
“We do,” I say, thinking of all of our text conversations. How he seems to remember little things I say and ask about them again. How it feels when he holds my hand. The way he looks at me like I matter.
“So, why not roll with it? See where it goes.”
I snort. “You know that’s not my personality. I’m not a ‘goes with the flow’ kind of girl.”
Evy laughs softly. “I bet you’ve already got a pros and cons list somewhere.” She rolls her eyes, and I tuck the notebook under the couch cushion. “Love isn’t always logical, Hadley.”
I sigh, knowing she’s right. These feelings are definitely not logical. “Yeah,” I say.
“Listen, we’ve talked so long, my battery is low, but I want you to know I’m here for you, and I’m looking forward to meeting Bryce.”
“Please don’t say anything to Mom and Dad. Not yet.”
Evy motions like she’s zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
“Thanks, Evy.”
“Anytime.”
After I hang up with Evy, I sit in the quiet, thinking about what she said. About how I feel. When my phone rings, it startles me and I nearly drop it when I see Bryce’s name on the screen.
For a second, I just stare at it. He’s never called before. I realize it’s already rung a few times, panic, and swipe to answer.
“Hello,” I say, a little breathless.
“Hey, I hope it’s okay that I’m calling instead of texting,” he says.
And suddenly, texting doesn’t seem like enough anymore. Hearing his voice is so much better—and more intimate—than reading his texts. “Yeah,” I say. “It’s okay.”
“Am I interrupting anything? I know it’s a little late, but usually we text at this time, so I thought it would be okay. And now I’m rambling...”
“You’re not interrupting anything,” I say, chuckling. Somehow knowing he’s feeling a little nervous too makes me feel better. “How was practice?”
Bryce lets out a long breath. “It was good. Coach wasn’t thrilled about our loss, but that’s hockey. We have up to three more games to win this thing.”
He’s being positive, but I can hear the strain in his voice. “Tomorrow’s another game, right?”
“Right,” he says. “We’re feeling good about our chances tomorrow.”
“That’s good,” I say, unsure what to ask since I don’t know much about the sport.
“So, lunch,” Bryce says after a short silence. “I hope Lacey wasn’t too much?”
Lacey was a lot, but in the best way. Her humor and warmth made me feel at home and not like I was doing the obligatory family lunch when you start dating someone new. “It was nice,” I answer him truthfully. “Lacey is funny, and Knox seems hopelessly devoted to her.”
“He is. He’s been great for my sister,” he says. “When we were young, it was hard on her to not have our dad around. I think she decided she’d never find her person, you know? Then Knox came along, and… well, she’s happier now.”
“That must have been hard for you, too.”
“Nah, I had hockey.” His answer comes too fast. Like he’s used to saying it. Or keeping his emotions to himself.
“Well, I’m glad,” I say, deciding to let it go.
“You are?”
“Yeah. Without hockey, we might never have met.” I hold my breath. Was that too much?
“That’s true. That would have been a tragedy.”
This… This is what I lo–No. This is what I like about Bryce. I can say what’s on my mind and he never makes me feel bad about it.
“I’ve been thinking all afternoon,” he says, drawing me out of my thoughts.
“A dangerous pastime," I say, quoting my favorite kids' movie.
“I know,” he sings in a fake Gaston accent, making my heart swoop in my chest.
“You know that one?”
He laughs. “Doesn’t everyone?”
I think back to my last boyfriend. “No. Definitely not.”
“Well, that’s a crime,” he says. “The Beast is amazing.”
“The Beast?” I ask. “What about that library?”
He chuckles. “I should have known that’s what you love about it.”
“You were thinking,” I prompt.
“Yeah.”
“About what?” I ask, and somehow that question feels heavy.
“About if you’d consider being my girlfriend?”
My face is tingling. Am I having a stroke? “I…”
“It’s okay,” Bryce says, misinterpreting my stammering. Clearly, he doesn’t know the signs of someone having a mild panic attack on the other end of the line. It can’t be healthy the way my heart is pounding in my ears.
“Bryce,” I say before he says anything else. “I think I’d like that. As long as you’re not too bothered by the fact that I don’t know much about hockey?”
“You would?” he asks, his voice rising.
I smile so hard my cheeks hurt.
“Yeah,” I say softly. “I would.”
He whoops so loudly, I’m sure hotel security will be called. And that excitement is my undoing.
I’m falling for the hockey player.