Chapter 21
CHAPTER
I had to run to make it to Ms. Pincette’s class on time, my dress flailing behind me, all the thorny, grisly underbrush politely jostling out of my way just in time to avoid scratching my ankles.
When I finally slid into my seat next to Emelle and Gileon, trying desperately to suppress the urge to pant, Ms. Pincette began her lecture of the day right away. Guess I’d made it with seconds to spare.
“Today, we deal with bullet ants, the most pompous of the hive mind—and the most likely to attack if you so much as breathe on them the wrong way.”
She unveiled five glass containers to reveal a single reddish black ant prowling in circles at the bottom of each.
“As I’ve mentioned in passing, a single sting can leave one paralyzed with pain for hours, so it’s crucial that we know how to offer the respect their kind demands in face-to-face situations.
Eventually, you should be able to hold one on your palm without incident.
For right now, though, we’ll keep them in these jars as we practice pleasantries. ”
After a few seconds of mentally patting my blockade, making sure it still fit tight around me, I let myself glance at Emelle.
No suspicious frown. No urgent widening of her eyes, wondering where I’d been all night. She just gave me a small, side-eyed smile back, then resumed listening to Ms. Pincette talk about bullet ant etiquette.
And Dazmine… from across the room, Dazmine wasn’t looking at me at all, her posture at rigid attention in her chair, her gaze locked intently on the head of the classroom.
Had my absence really gone unnoticed? Maybe Emelle had stayed the night with Lander, Cilia had stayed with Mitzi, and Dazmine had thought good riddance?
It wasn’t until Ms. Pincette released us to practice in groups that Emelle turned to me and whispered, “Did you have a fun night?”
The mischievous sheen in her eyes confused me at first, but then she went on as Gileon went to fetch a bullet ant from Ms. Pincette, his rhino beetle making nervous swirls around his neck.
“Willa said you went off with some guy.” Emelle wiggled a brow at my unruly hair and rumpled dress.
“She looked a lot better, by the way. Well, I didn’t see her sick with the stomach ulcer, but the apples must have really helped because she looked just as lively as ever when we finally came to bed. ”
A breath whooshed out of me as I realized that Willa, that wonderful, smart little creature, had saved my ass with her quick thinking even though I hadn’t told her a thing about my plans last night. Except now I had to follow that storyline, too.
“I, uhh… yeah, I did.” The blush that seeped down my neck didn’t feel entirely forced. “He’s a Mind Manipulator—not my ex from back home,” I added quickly, “someone I met on the night of the Branding.”
I didn’t want to outright lie to Emelle, so I figured it would be best to stick with vague truths. That this particular Mind Manipulator had pinned me up against an alleyway and called me a good girl within minutes of our little “meeting” didn’t seem like details I wanted to share just yet.
But when that gleam in Emelle’s eyes seemed to flicker, I let my blockade fall around me for just a fraction of a second.
Amid the cacophony of thoughts that flooded in, burying me in their crescendo, I thought I could pick out hers.
What are you not telling me? Are you sick? Pregnant? Is someone hurting you? Who is this guy? What did I do to lose your trust?
I felt a wince sprout on my face as I snapped my blockade back around me in a vice-like cocoon. She was still hurting over this, and I… I still wasn’t willing to risk her safety like I was willing to risk Dazmine’s. Still wasn’t willing to let her all the way in.
Oh God, I was getting as bad as Steeler. What could I give Emelle that was real that wouldn’t put her in danger?
I let my smile drop and said in an even lower voice, “I’ll tell you more about him if it turns into anything, okay?
” Not that that’ll ever happen again. “But I kind of want to keep it on the downlow for right now.” I cleared my throat with a hoarse laugh.
“To be honest, I’m still kind of traumatized by something that happened at that party on Friday night. ”
Emelle’s eyes went wide. “What happened on Friday night?”
In a whisper, I told her about the Shape Shifter who hadn’t wanted to respect my no, watching Emelle’s normally sweet, innocent face become more and more patched with rage until her hands curled into fists.
“By the orchid and the owl, Rayna, please tell me he didn’t force you…”
“No, no.” I shook my head. “I, uh… I managed to get away.” My knife flashed in my mind, but I didn’t think a Spiders, Worms, & Insects class was the best place to shout about how I’d chopped someone’s fingers off.
Still, the thought that I couldn’t even tell Emelle about this left my stomach in sour knots.
The secrets I had to keep were bleeding into too many areas of my life to count.
Emelle’s fists were still shaking. “Who was it? Lander would kick his ass for you, and I’d help.”
“Oh, no, it’s okay. It’s over and done with.” The idea of Emelle hurling herself at a Shape Shifter who could grow an eight-pack… I didn’t know if that was funny or terrifying. Or both. “Where did you and Lander run off to, anyway?” I asked slyly, trying to turn the conversation back onto her.
Her hands relaxing slightly, Emelle told me about her night in as vague of a manner as I had told her about mine. I listened until it was her turn to take the glass container from Gileon. Then I watched as she bowed her head at the bullet ant inside.
It paused for a few seconds to survey her, using its forelegs to wipe at its compound eyes.
Finally, the ant seemed to decide something and flicked its antennas back. Not like a returned bow, but a nod. An acceptance.
Looking pleased, Emelle lifted her head back up and whispered from the corner of her lips, “Was the Mind Manipulator better than the Shape Shifter, at least?” She handed me the jar with steady hands.
I couldn’t stop the memory of Steeler’s voice from leaking in.
Every time you spread your legs, Rayna, even if you’re alone in your room trying to pleasure yourself, it’ll be my cock you think of. My cock you want buried so deep inside you that you’ll never be able to—
No. Hard stop. I squirmed in my seat, trying to stifle the warmth that my body was letting creep back in like the traitor it was.
“It… we didn’t go that far.” And we never will.
I bowed my own head at the ant in the glass, who—to my delight—dipped his antennas back immediately.
It was only when I passed the glass carefully back to Gileon that I whipped toward the empty seat beside me with a frown.
“Wait. Where’s Rodhi?”
How could I have forgotten about him? Nobody ever missed class unless they were on their literal deathbed in the sick bay, and Rodhi wouldn’t miss this class even if he was.
Emelle’s frown mirrored mine.
“I have no idea. To be honest, when both of you were late, I started to assume maybe he was the guy you ran off with. But—”
“Ugh, no!” I shook my head so violently, our ant started prowling in agitated circles again. “I love Rodhi to pieces, but… not in that way.”
“Well, Ms. Pincette doesn’t seem to have noticed he’s gone.”
I glanced at our teacher, currently parading up and down the aisles to monitor each group’s progress. I was sure nothing got past her, least of all the boy who’d been obsessed with her for a year failing to arrive at a government-sanctioned lesson he was required to attend.
“Nuisance says Rodhi’s off on a high-stakes adventure,” Gileon piped up, his rhino beetle indeed buzzing incessantly in his ear, “battling deadly foe and winning armies to his name. Maybe Ms. Pincette is okay with us skipping class if we’re winning armies to our name.”
“I’m okay with you bowing to your bullet ant,” came a sharp reply behind our shoulders, and Gileon jumped so high off his seat that it made a sharp cricking sound when he came back down.
Ms. Pincette came to a towering halt over our sitting positions.
“Do you know how hard it was to find bullet ants to agree to hang out in what they perceive as see-through coffins for a day? I had to offer their colony a month’s worth of nectar.
And here you three are, yapping about stomach ulcers and high-stakes adventures instead of giving your ant the respect it deserves. Now bow.”
Quicker than the whip of the sundew, all three of us bowed.
After our last class of the day, I told Emelle I was going to change and wash up before dinner while she and Gileon waited for Wren in our parlor.
I was looking forward to some stillness and silence. Ten minutes of alone time to fully process the brand hidden beneath my hair on the back of my neck and Steeler’s pearl still beaded in between my breasts.
But when I opened my door, it was to find that Dazmine had beat me here, facing me with a glare glued on her face, and—
Willa, of all creatures, perched on the palm of an upturned hand.
“What,” Dazmine began with a hiss.
“Happened?” Willa finished with a squeak.
I slammed the door behind me and toggled back and forth between their pairs of eyes: Dazmine’s slitted with cool animosity and Willa’s wide with gleaming worry.
“Since when did you two start ganging up on me?”
“Since you used me as an excuse to sneak out without even telling me about it,” Willa said. “I had to find out I had stomach ulcers through Barty, who heard it from Gerald, who heard it through the wall. Thankfully, Dazmine ended up filling me in.”
Dazmine flung back my glare with one of her own.
“What? You employed my help, made me listen to Mitzi and Cilia squeal like bellbirds all night, then never came back. What was I supposed to do, just go to sleep?”
I started to say yes, but she plunged on.