Chapter 23
CHAPTER
On the morning Lexington was due to arrive, I woke up to meager veins of sunlight straining through our window’s foliage and felt my heart sink at the sight of them landing on Emelle’s empty bed.
Over the last five days, the news about Merkwell had spread across campus in both whispers and wails.
The older Wild Whisperers had sent some other birds back to the village to check for survivors, but the birds had yet to return, and none of our instructors seemed to want to address it—except Mrs. Smetlar, who’d given a smug, “See? This is what happens when you don’t have enough control of your magic to ward off outside threats” during Tuesday’s class.
To which Rodhi had called her an ugly old bogsucker.
To which Mrs. Smetlar had slapped him across the face with a stuffed iguana and assigned him more after-class eyeball polishing.
Emelle had stayed quiet through it all, a ghostly paleness permanently stamped over her face. The birdfeeder on her bedside table was empty, save for a few cracked shells, and she hadn’t made any moves to refill it. She spent every free moment outside of class—including nights—with Lander, and…
Guilt nipped at me, to be honest. All of my masks and shields and secrets had kept me from being the person who could hold her together when she was falling apart.
I’d have to think about that later. For now, I had a sadistic, too-powerful Good Council elite to scare off.
Just as I was pushing back my covers to try to slip out of bed without waking Cilia or Dazmine, a dark, fathomless presence pushed against my blockade.
I sucked in a string of curses and fell backward into my own mind, landing on that snowy patch of ground with the ice-slathered wall before me, the vast expanse of nothingness behind me, and…
Steeler leaning casually against my wall.
“Knock, knock.”
“What are you doing here?” I stomped over to him in the spotlight of the crescent moon.
In the real world, I could feel my body still lying in bed, eyes closed and heart battering furiously. In here, though, my eyes had to have been blazing and my heart was hulking down like a tiger, poised to attack this… this intruder.
I had to call him an intruder or else my hypocritical, devious mind might forget that he wasn’t just a finely cut male pinning me with beautiful eyes that dared to blaze back.
“Well, I was hoping you’d let me in,” Steeler drawled, nodding at my colossal gateway. “So that I could test out all your internal blockades, make sure all your sensitive memories of last weekend are still hidden before Lexington interrogates you today.”
I stared at him, caught between telling him to get the hell out and finding it kind of… thoughtful that he hadn’t just forced his way in. I knew I wasn’t yet a strong enough Mind Manipulator to keep that gate locked and secured if he—
No. I shook my head. Him asking my permission was the bare minimum. Just because he’d barged his way in before didn’t mean I should start drooling over the fact that he’d waited long enough to ask me this time.
“Go ahead,” I said dryly. “But I doubt you’ll even find them.”
Indeed, I’d spent the last few nights lying in bed just exploring my own mind before I fell asleep, continuing to pack in the walls of ice around my forbidden memories until that part of the maze completely blended in with its surroundings—the swirling mist of it muffled behind another frozen part of me.
I’d even hidden my conversations with Jagaros and Dazmine as best as I could.
Steeler was gone in a blink. When he returned merely thirty seconds later, I blurted, “You can Walk inside my own mind?”
“The benefits of having two powers that merge,” he said, leaning against my wall as if he’d never left.
“Well, I’ve got to say, Drey—you were right.
I couldn’t find a single memory of last weekend.
Of course I didn’t look for long, but unless Lexington plans to do another full-scale investigation today and knock down every wall in sight…
” His lip curled up at that. “… I don’t think he’ll ever know. ”
“Great,” I bit out. “Thank you for the maintenance check. Now go back—” I pushed against his chest. “—to your lighthouse before Lexington finds traces of you in here.”
Steeler caught my hands over his chest and held them there, all the smugness draining away as his expression hardened into stone.
“I’ve kept my distance during his interrogations with you until now, Drey, but if you think I’m going to leave you alone after knowing that he actually hurt you…”
“Let me guess,” I said mockingly. “I’m an even bigger fool than you thought?”
“… then I haven’t made it clear enough I’m never leaving you alone with him again,” Steeler finished firmly.
Oh. Well, I couldn’t tell if that was a promise or a threat.
“It would be my fucking pleasure to kickstart an even bigger war with Dyonisia if he does it again,” Steeler continued, lips mashing together—to hold back a snarl or something else, I couldn’t tell.
“So no, I’m not going back to that lighthouse yet, especially not while you’re attempting to trick the most powerful Mind Manipulator on the island. ”
For a moment, I forgot to try to tug my hands away, so overcome by the wicked promise glittering in his eyes.
Then I remembered Emelle and the empty bed next to mine.
“Maybe you should start a war over whatever dangerous, unstable things are attacking Esholian villages.” I ripped myself out of his grasp. “Do you have any idea what they might be if they’re not pirates? Your pal Jagaros wouldn’t tell me.”
To my surprise, Steeler flinched as if I’d delivered a blow. He glanced sideways, toward that large expanse of nothingness circling my mind, and dragged a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know exactly who—or what—is attacking the villages either,” he sighed, apparently deciding to ignore the sarcasm I’d used in reference to Jagaros. “Whatever they are, they are dangerous, they are unstable, and I would dispatch a fleet to annihilate them if I could.”
The way he scowled at that last part made me feel like I was missing another chunk of context. And also made me want to put my fingers on his face, to smooth out the sudden harsh lines creasing his features.
I refrained, of course, and when I didn’t ask any more questions, Steeler hefted himself off my wall to loom over me.
“I will be right outside that same classroom where you first held a knife against my throat, little hurricane. If our plan goes sideways, if Lexington so much as makes your heartbeat falter…” He reached out and brushed his thumb right over the pulse that would be fluttering beneath my neck in real life before removing it again faster than I could strike him away.
“…I’ll be there to end his before he can take another breath. ”
My enemy. Coen Steeler was my Good Council-declared enemy who definitely didn’t have a strong jawline clenching with a kind of violence I found attractive.
He definitely wasn’t staring at me as if I was the thing his world revolved around.
And his thumb definitely hadn’t sparked electricity against my throat when he’d—
God of the Cosmos, it was so much harder to control my thoughts in my own mind than it was in the outside world where I could distract myself with classes or conversations.
I clenched my own jaw and leaned closer to him, looking up into the smoky quartz of his eyes that could probably devour me whole if I drank them in for long enough. But I wanted Steeler to feel exactly how steady and controlled my breath was against his lips.
I wanted him to know I could handle this all on my own.
“My heartbeat will not falter.”
Twenty minutes later, I was in the dining hall, asking the house cook for two plates of breakfasts—battered toast sprinkled with cinnamon and coconut flakes this morning.
I sat down, but didn’t touch my food, even when other Wild Whisperers filtered in with yawns and curious expressions shot my way.
Some of them waved, but when I waved back, I made sure to do it with a grimace before throwing my head back into my hands and massaging my temples—the Esholian Institute sign for I’m messed up right now so please leave me alone.
I simply waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Finally, I felt the air in the room stir as everyone was forced to look away. Felt the slimy presence of Lexington stride into the room, where he blinked down at the second plate of breakfast before me.
“What is this?”
Hurriedly, I dropped my blockade before he could sense even the thinnest veil of Mind Manipulating magic from me, expecting the thoughts of everyone else in the room to come rushing into my head.
Instead, I was greeted with silence. As if Lexington had smothered everyone’s thoughts as well as forced them to turn their heads away.
Trying not to look shocked, I pushed the second plate toward him, nodding at the chair across from me.
“You’re late. Better eat before it gets even colder.”
Lexington had always managed to catch me off guard before now. Now, I wanted him to know I’d been awaiting him. That I had the upper hand here.
Eyes slitting with suspicion, Lexington dragged the chair back, sat, and dove into my mind without further ado. As usual.
But this time… this time…
I tried so hard not to gasp.
Because I could see it this time. The outside world was a hazy film in the background, while this internal one was where Lexington’s monstrous form fell with a thud against my snowy ground.
He was ten times bigger than a black mamba but without the face or tail of one. Tiny bristles along his slick, fleshy body propelled him forward as he plunged through the gateway that led to my maze.
I refrained from sprinting after him and forced myself to stand perfectly still in the snow.