Chapter 26 #2
“For my entire life, I’ve always been… desperate to find that one spark that lights up my whole world.
I knew it existed, the spark. I saw it in some older faerie couples on the ship where I was raised.
I saw it in my adoptive parents in Hallow’s Perch.
But I was beginning to lose faith in its existence, much as you might begin to lose faith in the sun if it were to fail to rise for several years… until you and Coen.”
I sucked in a breath, letting the salted air swell inside my lungs.
This wasn’t what I had been expecting from Garvis at all. I didn’t know much about him or his mind, despite the fact that he had to be sick of my mind and its frostbitten chill by now.
“Whether your relationship with Coen was a good one or not isn’t for me to decide,” Garvis continued, still examining the sky. “But I could see the spark between you even from a mile away—it lit up both your minds like lightning whenever you were around each other.”
I considered that. The cold, reserved thing that was my mind… could it have once been as bright and wild as my Whispering magic? Could it ever return to that?
“A spark doesn’t necessarily mean what Steeler and I had was good,” I started, even though I knew I wanted it to mean that.
Garvis moved his gaze to mine until I saw the sadness loitering within his kohl-lined eyes.
“No, it doesn’t, Rayna. What determines whether it was good or not is your choice to keep feeding the spark.
To give and take fuel when needed. To blow on the embers when they’re dying.
To never give up on the light, no matter how distracted or numb or cold you become.
It is your choice that matters. And you have one now…
whether you find your missing pieces or not. ”
Garvis lifted his eyes, then, to a spot just over my head. As if a certain someone had just materialized right behind me.
I twirled to a stand, already reaching for my knife instinctually.
Merely five paces away, bathed in the shadows of a raincloud that had rolled in from the ocean, Steeler tracked that movement of my hand with a raised eyebrow.
“Were you eavesdropping on us?” I hissed, already removing my hand from the slit in my dress—and maybe feeling a little smug at the way he stared at the visible part of my thigh beneath.
“I wish I had been, judging by the look on your face, Drey. Were you talking about me or something?”
“Unfortunately.”
I had to admit, I’d been a little sour since he’d stomped off all those weeks ago.
Ever since then, it seemed he’d been keeping his distance, sending frustration pounding through my veins whenever I thought of him…
which was often, dammit. Way too often. But since I couldn’t quite grasp him in my memories or reality, it left my fingertips itching for something they always failed to reach.
Steeler scrutinized my stance, a trace of curiosity following my crossed arms. “As much as I would love to ask you what kind of compliments you were showering me with behind my back, I came to ask you a question.”
“Oh? Let’s hear it.”
I was ninety-nine percent sure I was going to say no, but…
“I’ve got to go to Alderwick,” Steeler said, “and I was wondering if you’d want to come with me.”
I uncrossed my arms. Blinked at him.
“My Alderwick?”
“Is there another village of that name?” Before I could smack him, he added, “We can’t let ourselves be seen, of course, since I’m supposed to be a pirate on a ship and you’re supposed to be a student at the Institute, but I’m looking for something that I think might be there, and I—” He raked a hand through his hair, as if suddenly nervous. “I thought you might want to join me.”
I was still blinking stupidly at him.
“You need my help finding something in Alderwick?”
“No, I don’t need any help at all. But considering that you only found out recently that I’m not the monster attacking villages, I figured you’d want to be there to see with your own eyes that I mean no harm.”
Confusion was only settling deeper and heavier into my chest.
“But you could have just gone and not told me,” I said slowly. He had his Walking power. I hardly ever saw him anyways. I would have never known.
“And how would I have earned your trust back that way?” Steeler asked.
Earned my trust back. The confession that he was trying to do exactly that rippled in the air between us, and I suddenly didn’t know what to do with my hands.
Maybe he didn’t have hope I’d ever fall in love with him, but he had hope that he could repair some semblance of trust between us—and I wasn’t sure I wanted to douse that.
I glanced at Garvis. He gave a shrug with just the tiniest hint of a coy smile.
Spark, I could practically hear him saying.
“Yes,” I told Steeler. “I would like to go with you.”
The lighthouse windows were still flickering with shadows of Terrin, Dazmine, and Felicity behind us, but when he followed my gaze, Steeler said, “Don’t worry. It shouldn’t take too long. We’ll be back before moonrise.”
I didn’t allow myself to think on it anymore.
After taking his hand and allowing him to pull me through that gut-wrenching darkness, I stood to face my home village for the first time in more than a year.