Chapter 28
CHAPTER
“The first thing you need to do is lower your blockade,” Steeler said.
The two of us were standing so close, our chests were grazing. As if I were shedding a layer, I let my blockade wither away around me.
“Now, I want you to try to grab onto my outermost thought. Use your mental hand—the one that pushes your blockade out.”
I waited until Steeler’s thoughts hit me…
You look especially beautiful whenever you’re determined like this.
…and snatched at it.
The thought flowed through my mental fingers like the light of a sunset.
“Dammit,” I hissed.
“Try again.”
Now his internal thoughts came at me louder, a chuckle rumbling throughout the dark, fathomless texture of them.
Look at that little pout.
I snatched and missed again.
Pushing out your lip just because you didn’t get what you wanted the first time. That’s so cute.
Oh, hell no.
I struck, pinning that thought between both my mental palms like a trapped mouse. It wiggled and squirmed, but I held tight.
Steeler cleared his throat. “Now use my chain of thoughts like a rope to pull yourself toward me. Grab at each thought the deeper you go.”
I pulled myself forward, my physical body still standing at the top of the lighthouse while my mind dove inward and latched onto…
God of the Cosmos, Coen was thinking beneath the surface, she’s scary good at this for her first time.
I pulled myself forward again, feeling as if I was actually floating toward those eyes of smoky quartz even though my feet were still firmly planted on the floor.
This isn’t normal, came his next thought beneath that one, tinged with awe and maybe a little worry. This isn’t normal for her to be so stellar at a second power so soon.
I pulled myself forward, deeper and deeper into a darkness so alive and rich that I almost forgot to breathe, until I felt the layers of it give way around me and I was clutching onto a final thought of his.
She’s the one.
Then my mind broke into his, and I landed with a thump onto the moon.
Or, at least, that’s what it looked like: glowing and bone-white.
When I planted my hands against the ground, though, it felt smoother and warmer than I would have imagined the surface of one to be.
And an actual moon floated overhead, filled to the brim with light that illuminated Steeler’s mind—the void circling it, and the colossal marble gate guarding the maze that stretched before me.
There was no sunrise here. Only distant stars.
“Like what you see?”
Steeler had appeared in front of his gate, arms crossed and eyes narrowed as he watched me make a slow, unfaltering stand.
“I can’t say I’m surprised.” I smoothed out the wrinkles in my dress. “Of course your mind would mimic your innate magic.”
For that’s what this place reminded me of: the darkness Steeler dragged me through every time he Walked. A void he managed to breathe energy and life and stars into.
I took a step toward him. Toward his gate and the mist beyond.
“How do I get through?”
Steeler adjusted his stance, as if preparing to chase me away.
“First thing to know about breaking into someone’s mind, Drey.
Their consciousness is the key. Literally.
Non-Mind Manipulators don’t even know how to lock their own gates, so you’d be able to slip inside without lifting a finger.
Me, on the other hand…” He shrugged, such a nonchalant gesture in contrast to the determination settling on his face.
“As long as I keep focusing on that gate, it will never break for you.”
I glanced at the elegant silver door handle and the lock on the top half of the plate. I had a sneaking suspicion Steeler thought I would try tugging on it or lockpicking it or even climbing that vast marble wall.
But none of those things would work, I was sure.
If Steeler was the key, and his focus kept it locked…
“How am I supposed to break your focus?” I asked, taking a slow, calculating step toward him.
Another shrug, this one less casual than before. “The Mind Manipulating instructors at the Institute would tell you to fight me. Overpower me. Get me to yield.”
I liked that thought—getting him to yield. But I didn’t have my knife in here, and a deep, humming part of me wanted to overpower him in a different way.
Removing my attention from the gate, I latched it onto Steeler instead. His predatory stance. His tunic. His pants.
What had he said all those weeks ago when I’d asked if I had to touch his hand in order for him to Walk me back to the Institute? You can touch other parts of me if you want, Drey. Any part you’d like. And then right outside Alderwick, he’d said, I hope you’re on your knees when you do.
I treaded toward him until I was close enough to do exactly that.
To touch.
But I didn’t yet. I cocked my head to the side again, finally letting my eyes devour the lower half of him, the half I’d been avoiding until this very moment. Even in here, in this internal space between stars, his pants strained with the outline of—
“What are you doing?” Steeler’s voice came out as a growl.
“I’m just wondering,” I mused, grudgingly looking back up, “what would happen if I put my hands on you in here? Would it be real?”
Suspicion hardened every line of Steeler’s face.
“What do you think, Drey? Does any of this feel real to you?”
I didn’t answer. I wouldn’t have an answer unless I actually touched him.
Feeling as if the world around us was simultaneously slowing down and speeding up, I reached out and let my hand land upon his chest.
It was hard. Solid. Warm. I could feel the drumming of his heart beneath my fingertips, just as I imagined my own heart was pounding in the outside world.
And when I brought my fingers down, cresting and falling over the ridges of his abs beneath his shirt, I felt his body tense as surely as if he was holding his breath.
“Yes,” I said, looking back up from his abdomen to meet his gaze that brewed with an undeniably hungry ache. “It feels very real to me.”
But it wasn’t. I’d learned by now that the mist of our minds didn’t form memories based on mental interactions. If I did what I burned to do, there would be no tangible record of it. It might feel real, but any action in here was just a thought.
If I touched him in here, it would be nothing more than finally letting my imagination run wild.
Steeler’s eyes had drifted shut at my touch, but they flew open again when my hands closed around two fistfuls of his shirt.
I shocked myself by pulling him a half-stagger closer—a display of confidence I hadn’t even realized I was capable of.
As if in here, there weren’t any self-doubts to hold me back.
“Can I still touch any part of you I’d like to, Steeler?”
His mouth opened, caught in a surprised breath. He glanced over his shoulder, which told me he was still aware of the gate. Was aware of my scheming. And yet…
“I will never say no to a single touch from you, little hurricane.”
His gaze dipped to my lips, but I didn’t lean in to kiss him.
I trailed a thumb against his neck, ran my fingers down the bulges of his arms, and swept my touch back to his pelvis.
Then, unable to stop the direction of my filthy thoughts and the reality they were creating in Steeler’s mind, I lowered my hands to the buttons of his pants.
Where I took my time undoing them.
Maybe in another life, my fingers would have been trembling, my heart racing, my head spinning.
In here, though, the richness of this universe alongside the mellow scent of black bamboo that seemed to spill from nowhere and everywhere all at once—it made my hands work steadily.
My heart went still as I finally got the buttons undone and tugged down all the fabric in my way.
Coen Steeler’s cock sprang free, longer and thicker than my imagination had ever suspected beneath all my self-denial.
God. I couldn’t blame my past self for falling for his charms. This right here had to be the culprit.
“Rayna.” My name was a whisper on Steeler’s tongue.
“What?” I asked rather impatiently. “Do you want me to stop?”
His eyes flashed open in alarm. “Fuck no.”
“Good. Then shut up and let me do what I want.”
Steeler bit into his lip, as if he had to actually anchor his mouth shut with those fangs.
Telling myself it didn’t really count because it was mental rather than physical, I finally let myself do what I’d secretly wanted to do since the moment he’d pulled me out of my own mind.
I traced the glorious length of him with my fingertips, along the shaft to the head, until a deep shuddering rose from the moon-like ground.
“No wonder you’re so cocky,” I whispered. “Look at you.”
“Can’t,” he gritted out. “I’m too busy looking at you all the damn time.”
“Well, then…” I ignored the fluttering rush of what those words meant to me and released my hold on him to palm his chest, pushing against him.
Just like I wanted, Steeler stumbled backward until he was flush against his gate, his chest rising and falling in rapid succession.
“I guess you’ll have to busy yourself with looking at what I do to you. ”
At the pained groan that fell from his mouth, a smile tugged at my mouth. I stepped forward and sank to my knees before him until my face hovered inches away.
Slowly, with painstaking gentleness despite my desire to lunge, I wrapped my hand around the base.
My fingers could barely manage to fit around the whole circumference even as I tightened my grip. I could feel the hungry blood thumping beneath my palm, could feel the tremor of the ground rise up into his legs, until his entire body vibrated with restraint.
“You’re… you don’t have to…” Steeler’s words came out in rugged pants. “Why are you going…”
“So far?” I finished for him, breathless.
“I told you. Because I want to.” And it was the truth, dammit.
I didn’t just want to distract him—I wanted to taste him, too.
I could lie to Steeler’s face, but not to his mind.
“I could go even further, if you’d like.
” And I licked along the underside of his length, from the bottom to the tip.
“Shit.” He jolted, his eyes flaring. “Yes.”
A smirk puckered my lips. Maybe it was because we were in his mind, and his mind wanted me to do this just as much as I did, but it felt like the center of gravity in here was him.
It was as effortless and thrilling as a freefall for me to slide my entire mouth around the hardest part of him.
He tasted silky and almost sweet, the size of him filling me all the way to the back of my throat and causing tears to spring into my eyes.
Fine by me. Tears were good. They meant I was feeling something of my own accord—even if that feeling was pure, carnal pleasure at the knowledge that I had the male I should despise by the literal cock.
“Rayna.”
Now Steeler’s voice came out as a desperate plea, his hands digging into my hair, clutching my curls like reins. I knew from the way those hands trembled against my head that he wanted to tug me in, to force me to move and give him that friction he now needed.
I also knew he wouldn’t do that. Not yet. Not while he was still trying to maintain his focus on that stupid locked gate behind him.
So I removed my mouth from around him and took my time playing with the one thing I couldn’t deny I wanted any longer. Licking him up and down. Swirling my tongue along the tip.
“Fuck, Rayna.” Each of his breaths sounded strained to the point of pain. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
I shot him an upward grin. “That’s the plan.”
Then I took him into my mouth again, gripping his hips for support, and moved.
Steeler’s grip tightened in my hair. I dared a glance up to find—
Yes. A ravenous haze was swirling in his eyes, as if the longer he watched me take him, the more his focus was moving away from the gate to hone in on me. My mouth. My throat. My tears.
“This,” he rasped, “is the only reason I ever want to see you cry, little hurricane. Such pretty tears.” He untangled one of his hands from my hair to swipe his thumb along my cheek, brushing away a trickle of moisture before rubbing his fingers together.
“I wish I could feel how wet the rest of you is right now.”
My core fluttered with heat in response. With need.
No. I couldn’t lose control. Couldn’t lose the thrill of victory that had started to build inside me.
With renewed determination, I took him even deeper and deeper, gagging myself on his length until his restraint broke free. Until he was thrusting himself into me with each pump, that groan finally rumbling out of his chest. And…
Now. Steeler’s focus was gone. I could remove myself now.
But I didn’t want to stop. Couldn’t find it in me to quit sucking and tasting and letting the enormity that was him slam into my mouth again and again, until that burn in my core swelled and hummed.
My eyes snapped upward to lock with his.
As soon as our gazes slammed into each other, he erupted.
His release poured into my mouth, so much of it that even as I gulped some of it down, more just spilled out of the sides of my lips.
At the same time, the entire world trembled with every word Steeler couldn’t manage to say through the groans of his climax.
Rayna. Rayna. Rayna. You’re here. You’re divine. You’re everything.
Oh, God. No. I couldn’t allow my pleasure to grow any longer. If I did, I was sure Steeler would return the favor, and then I’d be the one trapped here for eternity, and I’d forget about his memories entirely.
With my heart thundering as surely as if I’d truly just sucked Steeler dry in real life, I ripped myself away, jumped up, and lunged around him, my hand already outstretched.
The door of his gate sprung open for me as soon as my palm pressed against it—unlocked now that his focus had burst through his grasp.
And resisting the urge to look over my shoulder to catch sight of Steeler’s reaction, I launched myself through the gateway.
Right into the maze of his mind.