Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
I'm too tired to think. That's my whole defense for opening the door in my underwear. Also, if Finn’s allowed, why aren’t I?
Finn’s mouth opens as I swing the door open, and then he freezes. His eyes drop, dragging over me like a paintbrush. One unhurried survey that he makes no attempt to disguise, and by the time he arrives at my face again, his cheeks are pink.
“Theo wouldn't open the door,” he says.
“Oh.”
“Hoping he’s asleep.”
“Not dead.”
“Yep.” He shifts his weight.
I step back and let him in, because there is nothing else to do with him, and only realize once he’s in the room that we’re right back where we started.
Finn puts a hand on my waist and slips past me in the dark. He turns on his phone flashlight, and his silhouette sets down his toiletry bag, then strips off his shirt and drops his pants to the floor.
I swallow. Hard. My toes curl against the industrial carpet.
Finn tosses his pillow back on the bed and pulls back the covers on the bed. He climbs in and slides to the wall, holding the blanket up.
It isn’t even a thought. I walk toward the bed and climb in next to him. He drops the covers, drops his arm over my waist, and pulls my back against his chest, curling his legs into mine.
Every point of contact sends ripples across my skin. His thighs under mine. The rise and fall of his ribs against my back. His breath, warm, tickling the hair at my ear.
“So,” he whispers, a grin in his voice. “Just to review. I got a whole speech on night one. We're sharing a room, Finn. The least you could do is put on some clothes.”
“I couldn't find my sweatpants!” I hiss.
“Full speech. Very stern.”
“You were standing in front of my face.”
“I'm just saying, one of us has consistent values.” His arm tightens a centimeter, pulling my back flush against the warmth of him.
I’m suddenly very aware of how little fabric sits between us.
“Hey, Harper.”
“Yes, Finn?”
“I don’t think of you as my sister.”
My heart races, and I’m worried he can feel it. But even with the rush of adrenaline, I can’t keep my eyes open. “I’m glad.”
“Yeah?”
“That’d be weird if you kissed your sister.”
“I mean, you kissed me.”
I huff a laugh. “False. Both times—”
“Okay, both times? I distinctly remember—”
“We don’t need to rehash the details.” My cheeks warm, my memory of that moment at the creak realigning. I may have pretended to fall so he’d catch me. And then lingered a long time.
Finn’s mouth makes noises that tell me he’s smiling. “You were so cute.”
“Would you say, cute like a small mammal?”
“Definitely. But one with nipples, of course.”
My laugh is more of a sigh, my head growing fuzzy. “Like a kitten.”
“Mm. Or a rabbit.”
“Because I have big ears?”
Finn’s lips graze the back of my neck, and everything inside me stills. I’m not sure if it’s intentional or not. “You have perfect ears.”
My mouth dries up, like I just ran a mile. “Finn.”
“Hm?”
Blood rushes in my ears. “What are we doing?”
He doesn’t answer for a long moment. When he does, his voice is slow. “I . . . I’m holding you.”
I sink back into him, not knowing where to go from there. My voice comes out barely above a whisper. “I was scared to see you. Because I never know what we’re doing. Even when we were kids, I never . . .” I let out a long breath.
Finn doesn’t answer.
“I just need to know. Not whether you care. I think we both know how much we care about each other. But I need to know if you want there to be, you know.” I pause, debating how to say it. “Follow through.”
I wait, but all I hear is the slow sound of Finn’s breath. When his finger twitches against my stomach, I laugh to myself.
Of course. The moment I decide to finally say what’s in my heart, Finn Gallagher has fallen asleep.