Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Avery
The knock at my front door did nothing to rouse me from bed. I tugged my blanket around myself tighter, staring at the wall as the knocking came again. And again.
But then there was a jingle of keys.
“Avery?”
I sat up immediately as my heart launched to my throat. That voice belonged to the very last person in the world I thought I’d see right now. Before I could hop out of bed, my mom appeared in the doorway.
“I . . .” I trailed off, meeting her gaze.
Her brows pulled together. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
She swallowed hard and nodded. “I know I’m probably not who you want to see right now.”
I couldn’t spare her feelings right now. “You’re not. But no one is.”
June and Evie had been in and out the last few days, keeping me fed. Hell, keeping Mateo and I both fed.
Levi hadn’t even left Monday. He left on Sunday. Took the earliest flight out of Texas and went back home without saying another word to me. To us.
Mom pressed her lips together and nodded. “I understand.”
We stared at each other until my shoulders relaxed a fraction. I let my body slump back into bed, blinking back tears as she entered my room and sat on the edge of my bed. Her hand settled on my hip, and she didn’t say anything.
“The last time you checked on me like this was when I broke up with that guy in high school,” I whispered.
“Oh, god. I remember him. He was a dumbass, too.”
I smiled even though I didn’t feel it. “He was. I don’t even remember his name.”
“I think it was Taylor. Tyler?”
“Yeah.” I sniffled, curling in more. “You don’t need to be here right now.”
“I know.” She was quiet for a moment, letting out a slow breath. “Your brothers called me. Well, more like Austin came over and told me everything. I . . . Avery, you never told me about Kevin.”
“We had other things happening.”
“But he hurt you.”
“He did.”
“You never told me.”
“I didn’t.”
“I didn’t know he’d done that. And I gave you hell for leaving him.”
“Would you have cared?”
Her breath was shaky. “I don’t know. I would like to think I would have. I would like to think I would have been a good mom to you. But on top of losing your dad, I don’t think I would have been. I haven’t been.”
“Mom, I don’t know if I have the strength to fight right now. I’m too sad.”
“I’m not here to fight. I’m here to tell you I’m sorry. I . . . I started therapy. I have a lot to work on. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me, but I’m going to try.” She took a deliberate breath, her words barely above a whisper. “Avery, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, honey.”
I didn’t tell her it was okay. I didn’t say I was sorry. But for once, she didn’t prod for me to do either.
“I really loved him,” I whispered. “Mateo and I really loved him. I wanted to go all the way with both of them. I wanted to be with them forever. And Mateo and I still have each other. We always will. But I’m so fucking sad that Levi left. I knew he was going to leave, but . . .”
“You hoped he would stay.”
“Yeah, I really did.” Tears burned against my skin. “I just want to be held right now.”
“Can I hold you?”
I nodded. She leaned back on the bed next to me and put her arms around me.
A sob loosed in my chest as it hit me.
Sometimes a girl just really needed her mom.