Chapter 12 No Reason To Say Hello #2
Another thought raced forward, but I grabbed my plates, efficiently shutting it down.
Putting a smile on my face made it easier to pretend I wasn’t overthinking something that didn’t exist. Most of the families were gone, shifting into the older clientele that came for lunch after the circus left.
They didn’t want to wait outside in the heat, and they normally didn’t care about seeing a cowboy.
It was just a perk. I was dropping a check at a husband and wife’s table when the husband stopped me for a quick chat.
“My wife couldn’t help watching you. You have such a presence—it’s hard to look away. I hope she still looks at me after fifty years.” He chuckled.
“She’s probably just making sure you don’t run off,” I said. He reached for his wife’s hand, and they both smiled at each other as if they were sharing a private joke.
“Honey,” she said to me with a playful glance, “sometimes you’ve just got to keep an eye on them—make sure they don’t get away.”
I made a little more small talk before I excused myself, uncomfortable with how close the conversation had come to my thoughts.
I should have been numb to being overlooked by now.
My mother had never raised me, preferring to tell me I had wrecked her life.
She’d bring the latest boyfriend over, trying to keep him happy, so that he’d supply her habit.
I’d hidden in the closet, under the bed, anywhere I could be invisible.
It had worked, but all it had taught me was the need to hide.
Like mother, like daughter, I hadn’t chosen my boyfriends well either.
One after another, they’d all been transactional.
I would pick one, believing he was my savior, but then I would need something basic and he would turn me away.
Each one had shrunk a piece of me until I learned to hold all the pieces close to my chest. I couldn’t afford to be hurt, fearing I’d lose myself.
It had been one right after another until Jimmy found me.
It had been my longest relationship, but the rules were still the same. He’d traded me for his own gain.
Cactus—the protector of everyone but me.
He couldn’t help it. I recognized the trait ingrained in his core, because no one had ever looked out for me.
Maybe this was just a trauma response, and once I left, I’d never look back.
Maybe that was the genuine attraction, not to the man, but to the feeling of finally being safe.
It was a lie, and when the older woman had mentioned “not letting him get away,” my first thought had been about him.
I wanted to believe there was something, but any movement would have to come from him.
Cactus would have to find me worthy, and right now, we were a long way away.
Why the fuck do I even care? I’d sworn off bad boys.
It was my fault. I’d forgotten not to get attached.
Once my car was ready, I’d leave, and no one would remember I had even existed—not even him.
***
“Roxy!” Lulu screamed, waving her hands in my direction as she sat on one of the dining room chairs in Angelica’s office. “What the fuck was that?”
“You’re asking me? This all started because of you.
” I shut the door of the office before flopping down in the nearest chair.
The night girls had already taken over, and the rest of us were trying to find some energy to go home.
It’d been non-stop until five, when the tourists realized there wouldn’t be any more possible sightings.
“I thought it was funny when they first told me you were the cowboy whisperer.” Francene moaned as she slipped her shoes off. “The people came, so I knew something had happened, but this…I’ve seen nothing like it.”
“We’ve never made this kind of money in the summer.
” Angelica laid her head back against her desk chair.
“I’d have to check, but I’m not sure we even make this much in winter.
” She tilted her head, looking at me before she pulled a wad of bills out of her apron pocket. “Before you go, grab this. It’s yours.”
She’d stepped in to help me, and I really didn’t feel like I had earned it. Lulu had taken me outside, but I’d kept up the charade, putting all of us in this strange predicament. “It’s okay. Keep it.”
“Don’t. You earned it.” She smiled at me. “If you don’t take it, I’ll just put it on your books at the garage, like my brother does.”
If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have put it together quicker. The look on my face must have read the same. The girls started laughing again, but this time, it was at my expense. I wasn’t sure I enjoyed being the center of their attention.
“Roxy wouldn’t know anything about that, Ang. She hasn’t gone to the garage yet, and you know Aces won’t call her back.” Lulu propped her stockinged feet up on the chair opposite her.
“Seriously? I thought you would have figured it out by now,” Ang said directly at me.
“Cactus told me about the money for my car. He said he took the tip money and put it on the books. Brother?” The word felt strange falling off my tongue.
She shrugged. “I haven’t talked to him for a few days, so I’m not sure what the status of the repair is.”
“Speaking of which, I saw a Saint’s Outlaw logo during the circus.
They were sneaking out the front door.” I added casually as I studied her face for confirmation.
Same hair. Same eyes. However, it was more than that.
It was in the way they each carried themselves—confident, slightly cocky, and in complete control of the situation.
The tilt of their chins when they were right, making the world move around them, not the other way around.
I needed to pull up my big-girl panties and march my ass over to the garage. Depending on the repair, I might leave sooner.
“Yeah, that was him. He popped in for lunch, but when he saw the people with their phones out, he ordered it to go.”
All eyes were on me. “I only saw him from the back, so I wasn’t sure.
” I played it off as if I wasn’t interested either way, but then it hit me.
He had left so that no one would know he was an outlaw biker.
“How many people do you think filmed me?” I asked, trying to hide the panic that was rising from my stomach and gripping my throat.
It was only a matter of time before the video hit social media, and I needed to be gone.
“You’re front and center in every parent’s video that filmed their kid.”
I’d thrown myself directly into the heart of the circus with no thought of what it might do to me. People knew my name, what I looked like, and where I worked. There was no hiding, even if I was in danger and needed to.
The three of them laughed at what they thought was our good fortune, but once it was serious again, Angelica said the thing no one wanted to admit.
“There were cameras, and some parent is going to post that online and tag us. It’s inevitable.
Whatever this is, it won’t stop. I may have to speak to the firm that hires the actors.
Right now, they’re choosing to eat with us, but if this blows up, we may need to create a schedule to meet customer expectations.
It will piss off the other restaurants, but overall, it’ll bring in more tourists. ”
My stomach knotted, and I wanted to run to the restroom, but when they sent up a cheer at the potential money we were going to make, I pretended to go along with it.