Chapter 18 Other Fish In The Pond
Chapter eighteen
Other Fish In The Pond
Roxy
“Did you warn her about this place?” Angelica asked Lulu, sitting in the passenger seat. “The news said a girl went missing out the back last week, but they didn’t say if anyone found her.” She shifted, crossing her ankles.
“I left a few things out.” Lulu drew out the syllables. “If I had told her all the stories, she’d have said no. We’re safe if we stick to the rules.” Lulu sighed. “It’s not like we have time to do a real girl’s weekend in Phoenix.”
“The last time we were here, the boys got into a fight with some of the local cowboys. When they called the police, the sheriff specifically showed up and detained all of us. He only knows the basics, so he thought we would rat them out.”
I watched Angelica sift through her purse until she found her wallet.
I watched as she slid her license through the plastic window and grabbed some cash, folding everything tight.
It was all I needed to see to know exactly what type of place we were heading to—the kind where desperate women did stupid things.
I should have said something, demanding they take me back to my motel, but I didn’t.
I’d been sixteen the first time I’d run and hid in a place that sounded eerily similar.
It had been a warehouse, converted into a club, where no one gave two fucks what you wore.
As long as I hadn’t tried to order an alcoholic drink, the bouncers had left me alone.
It had been my sanctuary, safer than being at home with my mother and her then drug-dealing boyfriend.
I said nothing, knowing I could handle whatever this place offered but not comfortable at the idea of relieving a past I’d thought I’d put behind me.
Lulu killed the engine before they both leaned over the center console to peer at me. “Ground rules,” Lulu said, smiling wide. “Leave your phone here. You’ll never notice it’s gone until you get a ransom note from across the border. Don’t ask me how I know.” She palmed her face, shaking her head.
“No purse. Put your money and your license in your bra,” Angelica chimed in.
“We go in pairs to the restroom. No exception.” Lulu pointed her finger at me, as if I was the one who would get them killed.
Angelica turned her head to face Lulu. “Did we forget anything?”
“I don’t think so.” Lulu faced me again. “Questions?”
“Why are we doing this again? It doesn’t sound fun.” Lulu had sold tonight as a girl’s trip without leaving town. Dancing, drinking, and flirting. If she had told me there were rules, I wasn’t sure I would have agreed.
It wasn’t about being afraid. I’d been to plenty of places with rules—biker bars, clubs, and underground raves.
They all had the same edge of danger. Rules didn’t instantly mean something to fear.
They were more about survival, and I was tired of constantly dodging the sinkholes looking to swallow me whole.
I wanted more, something for myself without the scars and the warnings.
I didn’t know if there was a future like that for someone like me.
“To remind ourselves there are other fish in the sea.” Lulu meant well, but she was trying too hard to forget she was still swimming in the same pond. “They might even come with less bullshit.”
New prospects didn’t excite me. Men required work, and I wasn’t interested in playing emotional interpreter just to make them feel like men. More rules, and if I wasn’t perturbed at Lulu, I might have found humor in the irony.
Don’t flirt too hard, but make sure they feel attractive.
Don’t oversell yourself.
Dress to impress, but not like you need attention.
Jimmy was in the past. After he had sat in the saloon playing yes-man to Ripper, any respect I’d had for him had died a slow, painful death. He wasn’t a man, but I didn’t have the heart to autopsy two years of bad choices. They were there, waiting for me to close the door.
The future didn’t seem so bright either, as I realized I had fallen into the same trap.
I’d accepted scraps for so long, I thought that was what I deserved.
Cactus would show up for a few hours, and even though nothing had happened, I was fine accepting whatever energy he had left.
It wasn’t enough. I wanted to be first in my man’s life, and Cactus didn’t have room for one more.
He was the Sergeant at Arms, and the club would always come first. If he wasn’t running to do their bidding, then Angelica and Bri were next. I wasn’t angry about that, and I didn’t resent his family. It was just the way it was.
I hadn’t heard from him. Someone must have leaked that I had deleted the text messages the morning we cleaned up the saloon. He’d taken my silence seriously.
Lulu opened her door and stepped out of the car.
We heard her huff before she leaned down.
“Aces will pick me one day.” She hesitated for a second.
“Doesn’t mean I’ll say yes.” She nodded at Angelica.
“When was the last time you had a real date?” She then looked at me over the headrest. “You ghosted, so now what?”
“Aces is too much of an asshole to be a real dom. If you’re looking for someone who might actually want to fulfill your needs, we could always find a dungeon or something.
” I threw the idea out there, knowing the men would hate it if they heard us.
“Think about it. You walk in, you tell some hot dom what you want, and they actually do it. No ego-stroking bullshit needed, or so I’ve heard. ”
“Do those exist?” Angelica’s eyes widened, highly considering the field trip.
“Yeah, and the ropes come with fewer strings attached.”
Lulu ignored us as she slammed her car door shut.
“Might as well get this over with.” Angelica shrugged as we exited the car.
My nose wrinkled the second I saw the place.
It looked like a barn someone had tried to pass off as a club.
Nothing but dark corners and too many exits.
I got the rules. The parking lot was in the front, and I could see the bouncers standing near the door.
However, if you walked around the sides, you could easily disappear into the desert landscape.
“Ladies,” the bouncer said as we approached. He opened the door, not bothering to check our IDs. “Don’t think about taking a souvenir home.”
Angelica smirked before patting the bouncer on the cheek.
“You didn’t patch in, so don’t think you get to threaten me.
” She wiped her hand on the sleeve of his shirt and then swatted the air, as if he were beneath her.
She’d effectively dismissed him, walking through the door like she owned the place.
The music thrummed through the floor, vibrating off the walls, only to fade into the rafters.
At least they were playing something I recognized.
Darkness settled in every available space until the circulating spotlights hit.
There were people everywhere, and I was ready to go home.
Plastering a smile on my face, I yelled at the other girls, “We should get a drink!”
We squeezed our way to the front, waiting for a bartender.
I was leaning against the bar, watching the dancefloor, when I heard a giggle next to me.
Angelica could giggle? Maybe this was the attention she didn’t get from Scorpion.
My head slowly turned to the left. Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, she smiled at whatever the bartender had said.
“He’s cute,” I whispered in her ear as he popped off the beer caps.
“Fun for right now,” she said, “and probably age-appropriate.”
“If you’re going to take him for a test drive in the bathroom, you have to have a chaperone.
” I nudged her with my elbow before grabbing my beer.
“I’m going to dance.” She nodded, as if she had heard me, shooing me away.
Lulu was on my other side, chumming it up with some frat boy. “Want to dance?” I asked her.
The conversation must not have been that exciting because she grabbed her bottle, took one look at Angelica, and followed me.
We found a spot near the edge where some of the other girl groups were.
There was a bachelorette party going on, and they all wore pink sashes.
Waving their hands, they screamed for us to join them, but we waved them off.
They were attracting too much attention, and I was still looking only to have fun.
A country song blared from the speakers when Lulu put her hand on my hip, drawing my focus to her. She pressed against my back, but I thought nothing of it. This was Lulu. “You have an admirer,” she whispered in my ear.
Pulling away, we danced, bumping hips and grinding against legs, and anything else we could reach. For someone who wanted to go fishing, Lulu showed more interest in me than she did the men in the room.
“Can I borrow her?”
“You make her uncomfortable, I’ll break your face.” Lulu’s voice snapped me out of my daze.
“That’s fair, Lulu.” A man grabbed my hand, turning me around until I faced his chest. There was a slow song playing, and he gathered me against him. I should have fought or tried to pull away, but it was too smooth. My only choice was to follow along.
His eyes were familiar, a chocolate brown that I couldn’t place. I scanned his face for something identifiable. No broken nose or crooked smile, and when I tried to sniff discreetly, nothing. I was drawing a blank, but he’d called Lulu by name.
“Draw a mustache on me,” he said, chuckling in my ear. He was clean-shaven, and when I squinted, I still couldn’t picture where I knew him from. “Miss Roxy, I’m very disappointed. I thought we had something.”
Doc. The re-enactor was here. Dancing. With me. Of all nights. “You’re fake… It’s fake.” I was talking about the mustache, but nothing was coming out right.
“It gets glued on in the morning.” He was still chuckling at me as we made another turn.
“You should grow one. Unless you can’t.” The words tumbled from my lips, unfiltered. Mortified, I wanted the dance floor to open up and swallow me whole.
A smirk slowly appeared on his lips before he tilted his head back, laughing.
He didn’t criticize me. Nor did he mock me to see if he could hurt me.
I’d never been in a relationship with laughter, and I was seeing its appeal.
I couldn’t help but think that if I found a man like Doc, it would make my life simpler.
Comfortable. Except I’d always chosen the dark, not to be seen as long as I stayed out of the spotlight.
“I can grow one,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “It just doesn’t look as nice as the one the city buys. I’m Kevin.”
“I’ll never call you Kevin, Doc.”
We danced a few songs before I looked for Lulu, feeling like I had abandoned her.
Doc found her in the crowd before I did, pointing to where she danced with the actor who played Morgan Earp.
It made me feel better, and every time we checked on Angelica, she was fine.
She hadn’t moved from her spot at the bar.
Song after song played until my head spun. I wasn’t sure how I was still on my feet. I was dancing, if you could call it that, when Doc put his arm around my back and pulled me close. “Want to tell me why a Saint’s Outlaw is staring at you?”
“Handlebar mustache?” I didn’t need the confirmation. Cactus was here. My stomach dropped, and I almost took off running for the bathroom without a chaperone.
“Yeah, and it twirls at the ends.” Doc frowned, the creases deepening in his forehead. “He claim you? He looks like he wants to kill me, but I’m not the enemy. My boyfriend is visiting his parents this weekend.”
“No shit?” My eyes widened. “I’m happy for you,” I said as I smacked his arm. “It’s not you he’s angry with. It’s me,” I tried to explain, but nothing made sense. “Cactus is mad at me because I ghosted him. Well—not him. His texts.” I shook my head. “Nothing’s going on.”
“Is that right?” Doc raised an eyebrow. “He looks like he doesn’t fuck around.”
“What is he doing?” I asked. I didn’t want to whip my head around, obviously searching for him.
Doc’s hand tightened around mine, closing the distance between us. “You’re not over whatever is going on, but you need to play this cool. Take a deep breath and pretend he’s not walking this way.”
“Go.” I tried to step away from him, but he didn’t release me. “I’m serious. I’ll be okay, and you’ll be safer on the opposite side of the room.” We were friends, and I didn’t want him directly in the eye of a pissed-off biker.
Doc looked over my head, eyes narrowing as if he was debating leaving.
“Please,” I begged. “Go.”
He tipped his head in Cactus’s direction, slipping into the crowd.
“Asshole,” I muttered. It wasn’t Doc I was mad at.
“Who was that?”
“A friend.” He wasn’t touching me, but I could feel the heat from his body, and I imagined the flare of his nostrils as his breath danced over the skin between my neck and shoulder. “Promise me you’ll leave him alone.”
Cactus didn’t respond as he wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me against him. He wouldn’t ask questions as he removed threats.
“Promise me. He’s just a friend.”
His grip flexed around my waist, and I turned to face him. Cactus’s face was blank, but fire burned behind his eyes. I could see the danger, the violence, underneath the surface. “Why him?”
We’d never held hands. Never kissed. I should have walked away, reminding myself why this could never happen.
I tried to break his hold, but he only tightened his arm around me.
“You want to be angry with me, fine. I’m not thrilled with you either.
You don’t get to hunt me down just to mark your territory. I’m nobody’s property.”
Cactus hummed, not saying a word, and it made me angrier. I wanted to push him into a fight, knowing I could let the words out and he wouldn’t hold them against me. Yet, he remained silent.
“I don’t understand you. You said you wouldn’t have fought for me, so why are you now playing the jealous lover?”
He was about ready to respond when the music died. The lights came up, forcing most people to close their eyes at the sudden brightness. There were groans rising from the crowd, resembling the hangovers most of them would have tomorrow.
A fight had broken out at the bar, and just like that, the night had caught fire.