Chapter 11 Idril
Idril
Idon’t fall back to sleep until the early hours of the morning after Caelan leaves.
Not just because I can’t stop replaying our interaction in my head. I also keep analyzing my own reactions to the mysterious male.
Never in a thousand years did I imagine sharing my first kiss with a male who broke into my house and is actively working to bring down my father.
And I don’t regret it at all.
I run the pads of my fingertips over my lips, like I have been all morning. They still feel swollen. Selfishly, I hope they never go back to normal.
The feeling of his lips on mine was perfect. No matter how often I’ve fantasized about it, or how many books I’ve read, nothing could ever compare to the feel of his body against mine, his hands on my face, his breath against my lips.
I’ll never have another kiss like that kiss.
Now I can feel a new warmth in my chest. It’s not the same as the flame, but it’s close, nestled right next to it.
I’ve spent my entire life reading and asking questions, knowing it’s the only way for me to learn. I know Mate Bonds manifest as threads that range in color based on the Bond and the species.
But there’s no thread in my chest.
Just a swirling pool of silver, reaching for Caelan.
The more I replay how every touch made me feel safe and protected, the larger the pool grows.
I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s important. It feels… beautifully alive in a way I’ve never felt from anything else before.
Logically, I know my reaction last night wasn’t normal. Waking up to an Alpha—a vampire, no less—hovering over me in bed in the middle of the night should have terrified me.
I hadn’t been afraid at all.
When I opened my eyes, I felt the same sense of protection I felt a few nights ago. It surrounded me, wrapping me in warmth and safety.
I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to meet a compatible Alpha. Not a man like my father—someone who taunts you with the promise of love just to yank it away when you inevitably can’t measure up.
My mother promised me when I was a little girl that a pack of my own would come for me. She promised they’d love me. Keep me safe, and give me a happy life.
Even before we knew I was an Omega, she told me stories about a love so strong, so unbreakable, that nothing could stop it. Nothing could temper it.
And Fates, I want that. My entire life, I’ve prayed for it. For Alphas who love me, a nest, a pack—a family. For soft touches that don’t leave bruises, and soft words that don’t scar.
And for a few moments last night, the fantasy had been a reality.
Somehow, though, I don’t think I’d have the same reaction to another Alpha as I did with Caelan.
Being near him was intense. All-consuming.
It’s not even his good looks—though I’d have to be blind not to notice how beautiful he is.
It was impossible to ignore the way the soft light played off his sharp cheekbones, or the little furrow between his brows as he studied me like he was actually trying to understand me.
His muscular body, shorn haircut, and stoic expression should give him a menacing vibe, but they don’t.
Not to me.
Instead of being afraid, I leaned into him. He clearly had no reservations about touching me, either. I can still feel his calloused fingers running over my lower lip.
The second his skin met mine, something lit up inside my chest. A whirlpool of silver sprang to life and started spinning in my sternum. I could feel it filling up—filling me up—as though it was rewriting my DNA.
For one breathless moment, as that empty well inside me filled, there was no fear. No anger or heartache. No hunger or pain.
Only Caelan.
After hours of thinking, I have a thousand questions and one thing I know for certain.
I’m going to protect him, no matter what. The loyalty I feel for him is unnaturally strong. Absolute in its intensity. I don’t know what his plans are to stop my father, but I know I crossed an invisible line last night. One there’s no coming back from.
He’s trying to keep my father from doing something bad, and I’m going to do whatever I can to support him.
I just wish I knew what my father’s involved in. I don’t know if I can help Caelan, but I’ll try if he asks. I can’t remain a naive girl living with my head in the sand anymore.
If it’s a choice between Caelan and my father, I choose Caelan. There really is no choice.
He’s mine, and I’m his.
My father’s never given me a reason to be loyal outside of fear. Fear is only a good motivator when you have something to lose.
I have nothing left.
Shade uncoils from his sleeping position, and the sudden movement breaks me out of my thoughts. His head swings toward my closed door, and his eyes narrow, tail lashing in a chaotic rhythm.
Without warning, he bares his teeth, backing up and emitting a low rumbling shriek that sounds strange coming from a cat. He flicks yellow eyes toward me, spins, and dashes out the open balcony door.
Something is wrong.
The reason for his immediate departure becomes clear a moment later, when I hear footfalls coming down the hallway toward my room. I can tell who it is by the heavy, clipped cadence of his expensive Italian leather loafers on the marble.
Father.
Foolish hope balloons in my chest. Maybe he’s coming to let me out. Or feed me.
Oh, Fates, please, please let him have food. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
The thought of a meal makes my stomach cramp. Saliva gathers on my tongue, and I force it down, praying to whoever might be listening that he’s bringing me food.
When he stops in front of my door, he doesn’t immediately come in like he normally does. After a few long seconds of nothing but silence, I frown.
What is he—
BANG!
The doors fly open so hard they slam into the walls with a deafening crack before bouncing back and nearly catching my father in the face where he stands.
A startled hand flies to my chest, and I instinctively scramble back.
My father seethes, looking like a demon torn straight from my nightmares.
His fists are clenched, his face is red, and a vein throbs along the side of his forehead as his eyes dart around my empty room like he’s searching for something.
They land on me and narrow dangerously.
I recoil, bare my throat, and squeeze my eyes shut. I know what to do when he gets mad, and my body reacts on autopilot. I make myself as small as possible and stay silent, just like my mother taught me years ago.
Blood pounds in my ears.
Gods, he’s angry. I can practically feel the rage rolling off of him. The pheromones he’s releasing are so thick I can barely think through the smothering weight of them. His scent is burnt. Bitter. I’ve only seen him this furious once before—when I emerged as an Omega.
Father’s anger has always been a cool, calculated thing. Like a snake, coiling around you slowly, letting you believe you’re safe until the moment it lunges, burying its fangs in your throat and pumping you full of venom.
This is not that cold anger. This is incandescent rage.
And it’s aimed directly at me.
Father stalks straight toward me. Once he’s close enough, his hand snaps out and wraps around my ankle in a tight, bruising grip. He pulls, yanking me down the bed forcefully.
I scream, nearly falling off the side of the mattress. He catches me with a hand around my neck and lifts me like I weigh nothing at all.
I panic. My hands scramble on top of his, trying hopelessly to pry his fingers off my neck. I claw and scratch, desperate for him to release me. His grip is unyielding, and he ignores my struggles like I’m a hissing baby kitten who’s already been declawed.
He lifts me higher and shoves me into the wall, ignoring the way my feet scramble for purchase on the cool floor.
My back erupts in fiery pain, every bruise and lash making itself known with an acute pain that nearly blinds me.
I try to choke out a breath, a word, anything, but his hand is a vice, and no sound escapes through my blocked airway.
He pulls me closer, then uses the momentum to slam me against the wall so hard my head cracks into the plaster. Stars erupt in my vision at the same time my chest contracts, aching for even the smallest sip of air.
I’m going to die.
He found out about Caelan, and he’s here to kill me, I’m sure of it.
Father releases a low, terrible growl and leans in until his face is so close to mine that our noses are nearly touching. It’s a twisted, ironic parody of Caelan and my position just last night.
“How did your door get unlocked?” His words are garbled, like he can’t get them past his vocal cords. It takes me a second to register what he’s asking.
My door.
He’s asking about the lock on my door.
A rush of cool relief hits my system.
He doesn’t know. If he doesn’t know how my door was unlocked, then he doesn’t know someone was here.
All I have to do is deny knowledge of anything.
Determination fills me. I will keep my promise.
I’ll keep Caelan safe.
I force myself to meet his eyes. My nails dig into his skin, a fruitless attempt to pry his fingers from my neck.
Fates… I’m so weak. My limbs feel full of lead, and my eyes long to close, but I refuse to give in.
Like a feral animal, he bares his teeth on a snarl. He slams me into the wall again, harder this time. White lights explode behind my eyelids. I choke on a strangled moan of pain. The sound is weak. Pathetic.
Gods… it hurts.
The pain in my head throbs with its own heartbeat. I slap at his arms, but my movements are jerky. Clumsy. Little more than a pathetic attempt to fight off someone a thousand times stronger.
“Answer me, Omega!”
His Alpha Command explodes through the air, steamrolling my instincts in an unyielding tidal wave of force.
I try. Fates, I try to respond. My body longs to comply with his Command, just to put an end to the pain of not following through. I want to obey, despite knowing I can’t. Not with his hand still around my neck.