Chapter 16 #2
Taking deep breaths, I pick through my emotions one by one. My heartbeat begins to slow. My breathing evens out. Once I stop panicking, I pick up on something out of place.
My heart continues to beat, thudding against my rib cage. That’s not what’s wrong, though. It’s the second set of beats. A separate rhythm that doesn’t belong to me, thrumming steadily under my own.
Or maybe… beside it?
No. I frown, concentrating harder.
It’s second heartbeat, that much is clear. But its not separate from mine. It’s…merging with it, folding into my own.
It’s slower. Stronger. It shouldn’t be there, but it is. It continues to help slow my own heartbeat, like an anchor in a storm.
It’s…solid. Warm. Calm.
Caelan.
I shoot up from the chair so fast that my legs get caught, twisting in my blanket. I nearly fall. Panicking, I catch myself on the balcony railing, shake myself free of the fabric, and bolt straight for the doors to my room.
Caelan’s here. I can feel him near me. What’s even more outrageous—I know somehow, impossibly, that he can feel me too.
He came back. He came back for me.
I slap both hands over my mouth to smother the half-laugh, half-sob bubbling up my throat. It’s no use, though. A sound of pure joy tumbles past my lips. It’s a strange sound. One I’ve never made before.
Slowly, I lift my hands and gently place them against my bedroom door. One by one, my fingers meet the wood before my palms follow pressing flat against the cool grain.
I take deep breaths and close my eyes.
It feels like the softest of fabrics brushing against my soul. I feel him—his urgency, his desire to be near me, his confusion.
Is this what a Mate Bond is supposed to feel like? This all-consuming impression of having someone living inside you, yet still not feeling close enough?
Taking another steadying breath, I lean my forehead against the door, the only real physical barrier separating me from Caelan.
Caelan…
Caelan.
His name is a prayer. An incantation.
I sense him coming closer. He’s leaving the study, walking down the hallway.
Towards me.
The joy of knowing I’m so close to him is exhilarating. Happiness bursts through my chest like fireworks, and I let myself bask in the sheer novelty of the sensation.
My lips curl into a smile. The movement is strange and new but not unwelcome. I can feel the skin around my eyes stretching from the force of my grin.
A startled laugh of delight escapes, and I bite down on my lower lip to stifle the sound in case someone hears me.
Pressure builds behind my eyes. I’ve been conditioned to choke back my tears, but this time I don’t. For once, I give my emotions the freedom to swell. I let happiness and love grow and crash and spill out of me until they’re rushing toward Caelan through our Bond like an offering.
I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.
The knowledge hums through my blood with certainty.
He is mine, and I am his. The how and why don’t matter.
I’m a girl raised on fairy tales and my mother’s whispered hopes. I don’t need logic to recognize magic when it finds me. I don’t need answers to tell me what my soul already knows.
I’m so caught up in the warmth swirling through my soul that I nearly miss the shadow bleeding into the light.
I don’t know what it is, but I feel it creeping into my joy, and it’s… wrong. Dark. It shouldn’t be here.
I frown and push it back, but the shadow is stronger than I am and floods in through the cracks—a warning my instincts refuse to ignore.
No, no, no.
The anxiety that was thrumming under my skin earlier comes roaring back like a wave crashing against the shore. It erases every bit of my joy, snatching it without mercy and yanking it into the undertow.
I feel Caelan’s confusion, followed by a punch of unmistakable urgency.
My eyes snap open.
Something is wrong.
No.
Something is coming.
Tires crunch and an engine roars outside. Gravel pings against the concrete and underside of a vehicle as it squeals to a stop with so much force I can feel the vibrations in my bones.
My lungs stop.
Father. He’s back.
Panic slams into me painfully, like a knife through the ribs. All of a sudden, breathing feels impossible.
Father’s back.
Father’s back, and—
Caelan’s in the house.
My knees almost buckle, but I catch myself on the door frame before I hit the ground. I pull up my shaking body as terror sings through my nerves.
My Omega whines, curling into a ball and hiding. The shame is nearly overwhelming.
Oh gods! Oh, Fates! What have I done? I was supposed to warn him! I was supposed to protect him! I failed!
I don’t make a conscious decision to move, but fear and the Bond choose for me.
Ripping open the doors to my room, I step into the hall, and run.
My bare feet slap against the cold marble as I fly down the hallway, my cardigan streaming behind me like wings. My breaths become shallow gasps that burn my lungs as fight for air through my panic.
Run! Run, Caelan! Get out!
I’m screaming down the Bond, sending frantic, terrified pleas and begging him to listen to me.
Fates… Fates. I can’t breathe.
I’ve never felt so weak in my life. Three days without food means my body is barely hanging on, but I push all of that down and keep running. My legs are shaking, and my fingers start tingling, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters except getting to Caelan.
I can feel Caelan’s confusion like it’s my own. He doesn’t understand what’s going on. Doesn’t know what’s coming.
I’m halfway down the hall when my dream slams into me with all the force of a prophecy.
My mother, trapped behind silver bars as wings rip from her back, my desperate, tear-filled, soundless pleas that she can’t hear, no matter how loud I scream. The words I repeated over and over in my dream echo through my skull before surging straight down our Bond.
A warning.
A prediction I couldn’t understand until now.
Fly! Fly far away! Don’t ever return!
I careen into the banister at the top of the stairs, and my legs finally give out. I hit the floor hard, knees cracking against marble, sending pain radiating through my shins. Another whine escapes, but I push back the pain.
I taught myself how to focus through pain years ago.
Using the railing as leverage, I frantically haul myself up. My hands won’t stop shaking. My hair is a wild, tangled mess hanging in my eyes and blocking my view. I shove it out of my face, and my gaze snaps to the foyer below me.
My world slams to a stop.
There, standing in the middle of my father’s opulent foyer, surrounded by the gaudy trappings of wealth, is Caelan.
He has his hands up, palms facing outward in surrender. His muscles are coiled tight, every inch of his body is tense. Despite that, his expression remains stoic and calm. Father is in front of him, wearing a smug smile of satisfaction on his cruel face. And he’s not alone.
His men, at least ten of them, are positioned in a circle around both Alphas, guns steadily trained on Caelan. Tiny bright red dots cover his body—his head, his chest, his heart—each mark horrific promise of death.
So many dots. So many guns.
He’s going to die. He’s going to die because of me.
For a second, I genuinely think I’ll pass out from the terror, but Caelan is calm and collected. He’s assessing. Weighing his options.
His dark eyes lift and zero in on me with unerring accuracy.
I can’t look away. His expression gives no clue to his feelings, but it doesn’t matter. I can feel his emotions through our Bond.
Shock. Fear.
Not fear for himself. Fear for me.
On the heels of his fear is determination. Those onyx eyes narrow, and his command pierces through our Bond as clear as if he’d shouted out loud.
Run! Run now!
I send back my answer without consideration, even knowing it will probably cost me my life.
I won’t run, not without you.
Despite my shaking limbs, I straighten my spine.
“Idril.”
Father’s voice makes me flinch. My eyes snap in his direction. He turns toward me, a mountain of confidence in each movement.
He smiles, and it looks… wrong.
“There you are, darling.” His smile grows morphs into something cruel and monstrous. My heart kick painfully. When he speaks, his tone is dripping with fake tenderness.
“Thank you for ensuring this Alpha was brought to my attention. I just knew you’d prove useful if I gave you the chance.”
I recoil in shock.
I hear his words, but they don’t compute. I keep replaying them in my head, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. I can’t. My nervous system glitches and I freeze, staring at him open-mouthed and confused.
What— What’s happening?
This is… all wrong. All of this is wrong.
It’s like wearing the wrong size shoes, or—or— someone else’s face.
The warmth in his tone. The appreciation. The certainty of something I still can’t make sense of.
Wrong. Wrong. This is all wrong.
Then, like a rubber band snapping after being pulled too tight, his words crystallize. Understanding washes over me, followed by bone-deep horror.
Useful. My father called me useful.
Like I purposely did something for him. Something that led to this—this nightmare. As if…as if I helped him in some way.
I try to swallow, but my mouth is bone dry.
I can’t speak, either. No words will form on my tongue.
The similarity to my dream is so visceral I whine, but even that’s little more than a breath thanks to my body shutting down in terror.
My Omega continues to whimper and I try again to speak but all that comes out is a choked noise of disbelief that only I can hear.
“What’s wrong, daughter?” Father’s smile widens. It’s malevolent. Sinister.
He… hates me. This man actually hates me.
Has he always hated me so much? How have I not seen it before? How did I hold onto hope for so long that my he might love me?
My hands shake so hard I have to wrap my fingers around the railing to keep from collapsing. Tears blur my vision and slip down my cheeks.
I still can’t speak.