Chapter 37 #2
No. Not a dream. A nightmare.
“Let’s go,” Vae mutters. He’s so close I can feel the heat radiating off his bare chest at my back. Or maybe it’s coming from me.
“The faster you answer our questions, the faster we can get this over with.”
He sounds resigned. His tone is full of something that sounds an awful lot like disappointment.
What does he have to be disappointed about? I’m the one whose heart’s been cracked open. I’m the one who’s been beaten down, ground into nothing, and rejected. All they’ve had to do is stand there, utterly unaware of the pain gnawing and eating away at my insides.
I never stood a fucking chance.
I meet Vae’s gaze briefly before turning my attention back to the wall sconce.
There are so many sconces, all down the hallway. I remember the first day I was brought here and how I thought it was such an odd design choice. So old-fashioned and unnecessary.
But now, as I study the flame, I realize that it isn’t odd at all.
The fire belongs here. It trembles steadily, oblivious to the fact that someone is watching. It isn’t big enough. It isn’t bright enough.
Not yet.
It should be larger. Large enough to burn through all the pain and betrayal, the hurt and lies. Large enough that these Alphas can’t ignore it anymore. It should be an inferno. One that consumes everything until all that’s left in its wake is ash.
The flame flickers once, almost like it hears me.
Then it roars to life.
A column of fire at least five feet tall shoots straight up the wall, so powerful it makes the air shimmer and warp. Dax curses, and Vae scrambles back, but I don’t move.
Next to me, another sconce ignites. Then another. Until each one is flaring hotter and higher than the last, flames skittering all the way down the hall.
“Get back, Idril!” Vae lunges for my shoulder, but I easily step out of reach.
Not away from the fire, but toward it. Toward the warmth, the heat, and the flames roaring three feet up the wall that mirror the flame in my chest. I can’t look away, and as I stand here watching the blaze surge even higher, I understand, with a detached sort of numbness, that I could burn this entire place down right now if I wanted.
For the first time since I stepped foot in this nightmare, I feel peace in the chaos around me. Whatever this is, it’s not bad. It’s not wrong. It’s—
Mine.
The realization has my spine straightening.
How has it taken me so long to figure out? How am I only just now recognizing the tether between me and the flame?
For the first time in my life, I have something that is completely my own.
Something powerful. Something dangerous.
The flames slowly shrink back to their normal size, and hesitantly, I turn to face the Alphas. Dax is staring at me with wide eyes and a look I’ve never seen before. He looks afraid.
No, not simply afraid.
Terrified.
“Where would you like to speak?” I ask calmly, clasping my hands tightly in front of me.
Dax takes a wary step back. His eyes flick to the library doors, then away just as quickly.
I almost smile.
No, I suppose he wouldn’t want me around his books. Not with the way fire is reacting.
This is all surreal. Like it’s happening to someone else. Like I’m outside my body, watching the entire interaction play out like a skit.
Oh, look. That girl just accepted she has powers she doesn’t understand.
That Alpha is her Mate and he’s afraid of her.
He should be. He hurts her every time he speaks.
That other Alpha is her Mate too… and he’s a coward.
They’re both just staring at her.
Yes. It’s just like a story. Another story, with yet another terrible ending for me.
I lower my gaze to the floor, sick and tired of looking at these males who would have been my protectors in another life. These Alphas, who should have shielded me from pain, not locked me away, torment me, and let their friends abuse me.
I feel my jaw tick as I grind my molars.
Vae takes a hesitant step toward me. “Let’s uh…”
I watch, head cocked in something that might have been amusement if I weren’t so numb, as once again, Dax throws out his arm to keep his packmate from getting any closer.
“What. The fuck. Was that?” Dax’s fear has morphed into anger, and his words are a growl
“Let’s not do this in the middle of the house where everyone can hear, okay?” Vae turns pleading eyes on his packmate. “Let’s go somewhere a bit more private, and we can all talk.”
Dax eyes me warily, like I might turn into a monster at any second and eat them both alive. Those grey eyes narrow, and his lips thin before he says, “Sure. We’ll talk.”
With one last scathing glare at me, he starts down the stairs. I follow them to the main level, then through a long hallway, until a few turns later, we come to another large, ominous-looking door. Just as Dax is about to turn the knob, Silas rounds the corner and skids to a stop.
“What’s going on?” He eyes our procession curiously, thumbs hovering over the screen of his phone.
“We’re taking the little pyro somewhere where we can talk,” Dax answers.
“Pyro?” He blinks, then scoffs in derision. Silas turns to me, glaring. “If you wanted attention, you could have just pretended to faint again. Arson seems a bit dramatic.”
I don’t speak. It didn’t take me long to learn that with Silas, silence is always the best response. The things he says might be petty and mean, but he lashes out for attention. If he doesn’t get any, he gives up.
“We’ll be downstairs. Let Lenora know before you retire for the night. She’ll need to administer the omega’s suppressant,” Dax orders.
I can’t help it. I laugh. It bubbles out of me, brittle and broken. I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to.
Dax whirls on me. “What the hell is so funny?”
“Nothing,” I shake my head. My eyes sting, but I blink back my tears. I don’t want to cry anymore. I can feel Dax’s irritation. Can feel Vae coming closer. The scent of Clove and warm leather surrounds me, making me shiver.
Swallowing hard, I squeeze my hands together to keep them from shaking. “It’s just, you’re all so careful about that shot. So obsessed with making sure I get my dose every night. Right on time, like clockwork.” I stare at my hands, trying to stay calm, scared of what might happen if I don’t.
“You’ve been so afraid of what would happen if I missed a dose.” I don’t say what I’m really thinking. That they’re always so damn careful to never smell my Omega perfume, but didn’t think twice about running into my room smelling like Alpha pheromones and forcing the knowledge of this Bond on me.
They didn’t even bother to mask their scents tonight, and now I’m the one who has to live with the truth. I’m the one who has to carry the unbearable weight of the knowledge that these Alphas are mine. They’re mine, and they’d rather see me dead than look at me.
I try to smile, but I know it looks fake. “Just funny, that’s all.”
My voice cracks on the last word, and I take a stuttering breath. I look away from him and pray my tears don’t fall.
Dax turns his sneer on me again, and gods, I’m so tired of him looking at me like that.
“No. It’s not funny. I knew you were going to be trouble. I thought it’d be your Omega nature that would make you dangerous, but it turns out you’re much worse than that, aren’t you?”
He has a point. I made a wood beam explode. I burned holes through the cotton of my leggings and made flame erupt from the wall sconces.
On accident.
I sigh. “I don’t know.”
He ignores me, finally pulling open the door we’re facing.
A cold, musty smell curls up from the darkness below, and I instinctively retreat.
“No,” I whisper, as every drop of blood in my face drains away.
“It’s just a basement, Omega,” Vae says gently. “We don’t know what you’ll light on fire or blow up, so this is the safest place for now.”
He’s trying to put a spin on it, but I’m still backing up. Still shaking my head in fierce refusal.
This is a nightmare—my worst nightmare. It’s my father’s house all over again. I was sent to his basement once, and it was the worst five days of my life. No food, no blankets, nowhere to use the bathroom except a bucket. Nothing but cold, wet air and freezing stone and iron.
I was sick the entire time I was down there. Lethargic and nauseous. Even my skin started turning a sickly grey color. I genuinely thought I was going to die if he kept me down there another day.
And the darkness. The silence. No way to tell the time or the passage of it. It plays tricks on your mind. Makes you see things that aren’t there. Hear things that aren’t real.
Those days were… terrifying. Humiliating. I had nightmares for months after he finally let me out. It took me months just to recover physically.
Vae is wrong. What’s down those stairs isn’t safe. This is a punishment. If I go down there, I’ll never see the sun again.
“I won’t go.” I stand my ground, hoping I sound strong. Dax doesn’t care, though. He’s already rounding on me, his cedarwood scent turning acrid with anger, like rotten wood.
“You will go down there, or I will do us all a favor and put a bullet through your skull.”
I whimper, and my Omega releases a keening whine. It’s in the air and echoing around us before I can blink. We face each other, eyes locked, as the shrill, horrible sound of my pain rings through the open space.
You’re my Mate. My Fated Mate!
I scream the words with my eyes, but my mouth won’t shape them.
Dax’s gaze shutters, and his brow furrows in confusion. Then his hand jumps to his chest like he’s been punched by an unseen force. His fingers splay over his sternum and flex as a shudder rips through him.
For a single heartbeat, I think he’s realized that he just crossed a line he can never come back from.
I could swear he looks genuinely confused, like something just occurred that he doesn’t understand and can’t explain.
His scent shifts subtly, the edges of his acrid anger smoothed over with what might be remorse.