Chapter 38
Graysen
Every slight movement threatened to shut down my mind. I forced myself to hold steady, to endure the torturous agony, just to keep Nelle’s gaze from where I knelt.
Nelle stared, wide eyes shining with incredulity. She took a tentative step closer. The tips of her dainty toes curled on the rough cobbles. “You love me?”
Craning my neck back, I gazed up at the shimmer of starlight scattered across a swathe of night sky. Internally, I groaned. I’d needed something to cling to while I endured the savagery as I shielded her. But what the hells had I been thinking, saying it out loud?
Admitting it to myself wasn’t a revelation.
Saying it aloud was.
My love for Nelle had been an unwavering flame flickering against the darkness of my cold, black heart.
I’d ignored it, pretended it didn’t exist, tried to smother the flames with hostility.
But it had remained steadfast and burned true.
From the moment I’d stepped into her home to fulfill the Alverac’s amendment on her nineteenth birthday, she’d brought warmth to my frosty heart with that crooked grin and beautiful soul.
And with every day I spent with her, and every day without her too, those flames glowed brighter, swallowing the darkness whole.
Lowering my head, a fresh burst of agony clawed through my body. The whip’s lash had ripped through my adamere armor as if it were parchment, and rivulets of hot, stinging blood dripped all around.
Nelle’s astounded gaze met mine. Her gray irises blended into her pale complexion.
There was a windswept look to her. Spiraled tresses framed her cheeks and tangled thickly around her throat.
Ethereal with moonlight gilding her figure, the gold from the Keep, and the feathered blue from the wildfyre.
Her expression hadn’t changed, and I couldn’t get a read on her reaction. Under my skin, her emotions were quiet like a slow-running brook.
Overwhelmed by the truth that had fallen from my lips, I closed my eyes and nodded.
My love for Nelle was savage and violent.
Merciless and fierce.
I loved everything about her.
All the sweetness wrapped in a tiny package of volatile meanness.
The fiery sensuality with which she burned.
The wicked tongue that sliced like a blade when she turned it upon me.
I even loved the entitled side of her, the Wychthorn princess who’d never lifted a finger in her entire life, who hadn’t ever sullied her hands washing dishes or, gods forbid, picking up after herself.
I was innately connected to this girl on so many levels, but one truth rose above them all.
Stripped of every thread between us, I’d still have fallen in love with her and sought to earn a place by her side.
I loved her deeply and utterly, inexorably.
Our souls were intrinsically entwined, and our hearts an echo of the other.
And I was so fucked.
When I pried my eyes open, Nelle was looking elsewhere.
It was then that I became aware of my surroundings, of what was happening. The courtyard rang with my sister’s pained sobs and my aunt’s utter horror. Neither of them spared a glance at what was unfolding between me and Nelle.
Blood seeped between Ferne’s trembling fingers cradled to her cheek as she backed toward the steps of the Keep, nearly tripping in her haste.
Valarie stumbled toward my sister, hands outstretched. “Ferne. Oh my gods. Ferne. I’m sorry!”
My sister had tried to intercede and been caught by the tail end of the lash, the only thing able to snap my aunt out of her deep rage.
Movement in my periphery drew my attention away.
When I turned to Nelle, she stepped closer.
Her long skirt rustled as she flicked it aside and crouched.
We were face-to-face, so close her scattered freckles sparkled with the tears streaking down her cheeks.
Her gaze softened, her lashes fluttering wider.
I held my breath, wondering how she would react to the knowledge that she owned my heart. My soul. My very being.
She reached out, sweeping aside the sweaty strands hanging over my forehead and tucking them gently behind my ear. Leaning in, the warmth of her lips brushed along my cheek, and pleasure expanded within my chest at the intimate touch, the swirl of her breath, and the velvet of her voice.
“You don’t know the meaning of love.”
Her words were a vicious blade, its honed edge dipped in venomous cruelty, slicing through my heart. It hurt worse than the agony ravaging my back. My eyes fell shut briefly, and I tried and failed to hide the bleak emptiness I knew was written across my face.
I exhaled a breath soaked in heartache.
What had I expected?
I certainly didn’t deserve her love. Not after all I’d done. Not after all I’d allowed to happen.
Nelle rose, unfolding herself with effortless grace.
She stared down at me where I knelt at her feet, exactly where I should be, broken and bleeding and begging her to love me back.
Her eyes hardened, her tone turned flinty.
“What were you expecting? For me to confess my feelings too? How could I ever love you?”
My voice cracked. “Nelle, I—”
“Do you know where I’ve been?”
“Sirro found me,” I rasped, dread sinking through my chest. “The Emporium.”
Loathing vibrated through her words as she spat them out. “Yes. The Emporium.”
It was a snake-like movement, the slant of my head when I finally saw what she was wearing. The dress was so revealing it was barely a dress at all. And then she swept aside the hair tangled about her neck.
My breath caught at those black talons pinching her throat.
An ancient relic I hadn’t seen for many years.
Furyos Bonefall.
Behind me came hurried footsteps and murmurs of confusion as others poured into the courtyard.
My brothers had arrived home.
Their voices, and all those questions fired at the few soldiers remaining in the area, fell silent. I didn’t need to turn to know their gazes had landed on us.
My body screamed in agony as I forced one foot beneath me, then the other, darkness edging my vision as I pushed upright, rising to my full height. I stepped close to my little bird, reaching for a chain, tracing the tiny, knotted bones.
“It’s a nice touch, isn’t it?” Nelle said as my hand slid along the chain, the mottled bones catching on my calloused fingers.
Beneath my skin, her icy fury tangled with mine.
Our synched hearts pounded in unison, a summons to violence, a demand for bloodshed.
“Your aunt has quite an eye for theatrics. As does your brother. They had me stand on the dais with the courtesans and were whoring me out for the night. Your other brothers were taking bids from the attending Houses… and the highest bidder won me.”
My hard gaze snapped to hers. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me.” Her eyes gleamed cold, like light off steel. “It was Jett’s idea and he executed it brilliantly.”
The last remnants of warmth remaining in my heart froze over with ferocious abhorrence. Nelle held herself before me, regal and imperious. In the reflection of her eyes, I saw my irises blow straight to gray. A perfect imitation of her own.
I pivoted around.
Across the courtyard, Caidan stood beside Kenton, both dressed in fine suits. Caidan gaped, staring wide-eyed at Oskar’s whipping post. “What the fuck happened?”
But Kenton wasn’t listening. His gaze was locked on our tearful aunt, her hands pressed together as she begged Ferne for forgiveness. But it was the blood streaming down our sister’s face that twisted his features in sheer horror. “Ferne?”
And there was Jett, standing a distance behind them.
Rage pumped through my veins, pistoning my heart—Nelle’s too. The combination of our tempers rose into a superstorm of unmerciful malevolence, billowing through my chest, slashing through my being. Madness and vengeance spurred me headlong into wrath.
Jett swallowed, retreating a step at the fearsome look I leveled upon him.
I cracked my neck, unsheathing a wyrmbone dagger and twirling it between my fingertips. “Jett!” I snarled, my grip snapping tight on the hilt.
And I was moving.
But someone else moved just as fast.
A blur of yellow and sweeping black slammed into me, striking my jaw with both fists. My head whipped sideways, and I stumbled off-course as movement exploded all around me like a twist of wild wind.
I righted myself as Ferne pulled back.
She was breathing hard, her chin quivering with wretched emotion. The gash across her cheek was raw and angry, blood trailing down her neck to stain her dress crimson. In her hands were all my blades, she’d stripped me of every single weapon. She backed away, crying out, “I can’t let you do this!”
The only thing stopping me from striking back was that she was a kid, my beloved little sister, and she didn’t deserve any of this. But that wouldn’t stop me from going for my brothers. I’d fucking crush every bone in their bodies with my bare hands if I had to.
I charged.
Chaos erupted across the courtyard.
Aunt Valarie shouted orders to her cadre, to the bodyguards and the soldiers, but I paid them no mind.
It was Jett I arrowed for.
My youngest brother stumbled back, fear trembling through every inch of him.
Kenton and Caidan hurtled toward me, intercepting like wolves.
Caidan spun in with an elbow aimed at my head.
Kenton came flying with a boot toward my knees.
But I was the eerie calm before the storm. Calculating. Shrewd. Lethal. Time slowed to a crawl as I moved faster than they’d ever seen before.
I caught Caidan’s elbow, launching myself into a twisting spin, using his momentum to whirl us both around.
My boot struck Kenton sidelong, connecting with his shin, the gratifying sound of shattering bone exploding in my ears.
He crumpled with a strangled cry, tumbling across the ground.
I landed and flipped Caidan onto his back so hard the impact knocked the air from his lungs. He stared up at me, rasping, “I’m sorry, Gray. We shouldn’t have—”
I. Did. Not. Give. A. Fuck. “I felt her terror!”
I pinned his wrist beneath my foot and stomped the other down, crushing his elbow socket, shattering bone and cartilage. His scream split the violent night apart.
Kenton staggered upright, swaying, his leg bent at an unnatural angle. “It was the only option left to us. We had to break Byron.”
“By selling what was mine to the Emporium?!”
By letting another man touch her—after everything she’d endured?
He shook his head. “Gray—”
I didn’t let him finish.
I rushed forward, folding the distance between us, yanking my fist back—
—slamming it into Kenton’s throat.
His eyes rolled back, and he choked out a gasp as he went down like a sack of rocks.
The soldier and bodyguards surged inward, pincering me among their numbers.
I dug deep, dredging up every shred of strength left in my battered body.
Bloodlust thrummed in my ears, and I gave myself over to that feral side of me as I hurled myself into the fight, whirling, kicking, punching.
My fists, my knees, my boots became weapons.
Bodies flew.
Bones broke.
Soldiers crashed into walls and tumbled over the edge of the fighting pit.
The courtyard rang with the cries of the wounded.
My aunt’s loyal cadre, older but just as deadly, formed a wall between her and me.
But she could wait.
Right now, I wanted my youngest brother.
Jett was almost hyperventilating at the carnage. He shook where he stood, frozen, heaving for breath.
I stormed toward him, bursting through that strange tamer void.
And I was there, right there, before he could spin around and flee.
“Gray, I only did what I thought—”
“You’re as sick and twisted as the fucking Pellans!”
I grabbed Jett’s throat, yanking him off the ground. His feet kicked, hair whipping around his face. Something new lived inside me. Something ancient and monstrous that coiled around my bones, breathing gales of fiery wrath that set my soul aflame.
Jett scrabbled pathetically at my grip.
My lips peeled back in a snarl. He had no fucking chance against me.
I drew my arm back, fingers flattening into a blade, and drove my hand forward.
A brutal, lightning-fast strike. A flesh-formed dagger.
Warm blood spurted in ropes of stickiness, splattering all over my chest as I shoved my hand through the nest of organs, searching deeper until I latched onto his spine.
To grasp the knotted bone.
And I fucking snapped it right in half. The splintered vertebrae scraped against my fingers, and the sticky threads of his spinal cord popped inside my fist.
Jett screamed soundlessly, my grip clenching his throat too tightly to allow any noise. His body went slack, his legs hung uselessly from what I’d done.
But it wasn’t enough.
I was still caught in bloodlust.
Still drowning in the roar of—end him, end him, end him—thundering through my veins, hammering in my ears, pounding with every beat of my ruthless heart.
I jerked my hand out of his belly, a gush of blood splashing over my boots and raining upon the cobbles.
My fingers curled into a blood-drenched fist.
I was going to smash through his ribcage and rip his fucking heart from his chest.
End him for what he’d done to her.