Chapter 42
Graysen
Gods, how I loved her.
But I shouldn’t have shared my feelings with her, not now, not like this. I just hadn’t been able to stop my heart’s truth from spilling out. “I shouldn’t have said it—” But Nelle pressed a hand to my mouth, silencing me.
“Say it again,” she whispered.
The words vibrated against the tips of her fingers. “I love you, Nelle.”
I curled my hand and slid my knuckles gently along the curve of her face, down the column of her graceful throat. She didn’t speak for a long moment, simply dropping her hand to my shoulder, her thumb settling in the hollow between my collarbones as she stared at me with a crooked, bewildered grin.
All too soon, her expression fell into regret. Her eyebrows angled upward as she swallowed thickly. “I can’t—”
“I know,” I hastened to say. How could she feel anything like that for me?
Her gray eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “I can’t give you what you want…” She drew a deep breath, her thick lashes fluttering shut. “But I can give you this.”
I felt her then—a humming, skittering sensation beneath my flesh as she opened herself to me, sharing the tangled riot of emotions within her. She leaned in, her hands skimming upward to frame my cheeks as she pressed her mouth to mine.
My fingers trailed around the nape of her neck, burying themselves in her wild, lovely hair.
She glided her lips against mine in a barely-there touch that sent shivers coursing across my skin, sinking all the way to the very depths of my soul.
She nudged my lips open and kissed me deeply.
Every caress of her tongue, every endearing slide of her mouth, sang an enchanting melody to the rhythm of our twin hearts beating as one—the bass note to my helpless groan.
The kiss was wickedly sweet, spun from silvery moonlight. She gave me everything she felt. Everything that troubled her. Everything bright and joyous, too. She poured bright, buttery sunshine through her kiss to vanquish every dark crevice that lurked inside my being.
As the willwips flitted above, bathing us in ethereal hues, she let her truth stir through my blood once more, warming my heart as her pure delight and happiness fluttered within my chest like a swarm of glowing fireflies rising into twilight.
What she felt for me was tentative. A fragile flame. The first glimpse of sunlight slipping over a mountain peak. But she cared. Deeply.
Cool air prickled my mouth when she broke the kiss and rested her forehead against my own.
Her hands slid forward, feathering through my hair to curl around the back of my neck.
Her breath whispered across my lips as she asked, “What are we going to do? Your aunt and your brothers know what you feel for me—that you’ve been protecting me. ”
“No. They may suspect it, but they’ll believe it’s tied to our connection as Wyrm and Tamer.”
I’d already run through everything in my mind—what had been seen, what I’d said aloud.
My aunt had been too consumed by rage and grief to hear my heart’s confession to Nelle.
My brothers had arrived at the moment fury ignited my blood after learning the vileness of what Nelle endured at the Emporium.
They’d witnessed the color of my eyes blow straight to hers and they’d fallen beneath my might.
My wrath had turned to bloodshed because Nelle was my possession, and the dominant nature of the tamer could easily be mistaken for the reason behind my explosion.
Snatching a glimpse at the doorway, I heard more figures gathering outside, the quiet murmurings of the cadre addressing my aunt as they parted their ranks to allow her through.
I mentally sighed.
There wasn’t any time left for us.
It wasn’t an ideal hideout, but for some strange reason the Birds had taken to Nelle. The rookery would be safe for her, long enough for me to do what I needed to—divert my aunt’s attention from her to me. I knew what my aunt wanted. My surrender.
I brushed a hand gently across Nelle’s temple, soaking her in one last time.
Why couldn’t we have been just a girl and a guy with nothing between us but interested glances and flirtatious smiles?
I would’ve taken Nelle Wychthorn out on dates, fucking courted the shit out of her until I’d charmed her into giving me her heart.
Even if our families weren’t aligned in rank, we would’ve stood firm and convinced them we belonged together.
I lifted her carefully off my lap, steadying her as she found her feet before I rose. Confusion creased her brow as she stared up at me.
I took her delicate hands in mine, brushing my thumbs over her soft skin.
My voice lowered with the desperate need for her to hear what I had to say and what she had to do.
“My aunt isn’t going to stop. We need to give her what she needs to feel in control of the situation.
Stay here in the rookery. The birds will protect you, and my sister will look out for you.
Caidan too.” At her puzzled look at the mention of my siblings, I added, “You fractured them both, little bird. They’ll take care of you because it’s the right thing to do. ”
“What are you going to do?”
“I have to give my aunt something.”
“You?” Panic flared in her voice. She broke free of my grip, rising onto her toes to frame my cheeks, drawing my face down to meet hers, pale with worry. “Ferne said if your aunt got hold of you, you wouldn’t be the same. What did she mean?”
I replied with a bold-faced fucking lie. “Ferne doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
Anger sparked in her gaze. “Graysen!”
“I’m going to be fine.”
Her anger melted into fear. “Please don’t give yourself to her. We’ll both leave. Please, Graysen—let’s just leave together.”
“I can’t do that.” I cupped her cheek, brushing away the fresh tears with my thumb. My voice strained with warning and determination to make her listen. “Promise me this. Don’t try to save me. Save yourself.”
She struggled, more tears falling as she shook her head. “No.”
“There’s no time nor energy to be spared for anything else except freeing yourself.”
Godsdammit. I tasted indecision on my tongue. Denial. Then rebellion.
The imposing tone of the Tamer growled from my chest, its timbre low and laced heavily with command. A pulse of sway vibrated down the lines of power. “Promise me.”
“Okay,” she cried, breaking under my authority. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
I took one last look at her, imprinting her into memory—the pale hair tangled with ribbons, those large luminous eyes edged in thick lashes and shining with wretchedness.
The freckles scattered across her honeyed cheeks I’d always thought gave her a mischievous air.
And the tears glossing her sassy mouth, the top lip charmingly fuller than the bottom.
Dipping my head, I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her closer, my skin buzzing with the hyper-awareness that always flared between us.
I licked the salty tears from her lips, stealing her anguish for myself, and gave my little bird a soft, lingering kiss that told her everything she meant to me.
My eyes closed as I breathed in her unique blossom scent with its fiery undertones.
Then I pulled away and turned to stride across the rookery, her body heat disappearing as cold, stale air brushed up against my bare chest. By the time I reached the threshold, a subarctic chill had already begun to leach the warmth from my heart.