Chapter 48 Jace
JACE
Present Day
Icrank up my music to a deafening volume in the hope that it will drown out my spiraling thoughts. Between Kieren and Gabi, I don’t know who I hate more.
I tolerated Kieren in boarding school, mainly because we had the same group of friends and for whatever fucked-up reason, it made my dad happy to know Kieren was part of my circle.
I knew we’d cross paths at Dornell, especially because we both intended to pledge Sigma, but then he ended up as my fucking roommate freshman year.
To think, if I had been roommates with anyone else, none of this bullshit would have happened.
I never would have met Gabi. I never would have gotten roped into Kieren’s Sigma atrocity, or at least not to the extent I am now.
Maybe, I would have even been happy instead of fucking miserable day after day.
What I wouldn’t give to rewind time. Dornell was supposed to be the time of my life.
Finally, I’d be away from my dad and not have to listen to him gloat about my older brother, Reid’s, success.
Growing up under the thumb of a power-hungry Wall Street baron who never wanted a second child to begin with was trial enough.
Dornell was the finish line. Finally, I would be free, but then Kieren shackled my college experience to his, and because I fell into a deep depression when I was a sophomore, I’ve resigned myself to being nothing more than Kieren’s subservient lackey, going through the motions, for years.
I want out.
I want this abominable nightmare to be over.
My trust fund doesn’t become fully mine until I turn twenty-five.
The money isn’t even that significant, but it’s enough to move to Costa Rica and start a new life.
That means I’ll have to bend to my father’s will for three years.
He wants me to follow in his footsteps, just like Reid, but finance has never interested me in the same way it has my father and brother.
Working on Wall Street as an investment banking analyst at the same firm as my father might be worse than doing Kieren’s dirty work.
I’d be quite literally under his thumb, because he won’t just be my father, he’ll also be my corporate overlord.
The man does not do favors, or at least, not for me.
If this scenario happens, I’ll die. I won’t make it. I’ll shrivel up like a weed, trampled and forgotten.
My father seems open to the idea of me working overseas.
I’d still be working at the same company as him, but with the buffer of time zones and absence of physical proximity, I’ll survive.
I can withstand three years of discomfort if it means finally getting the pot of gold at the end of the tainted rainbow.
Once upon a time, Gabi and I had talked about moving in together after graduation. The job opportunities she’s interested in are all based in New York City. I’d find a way to stomach my father if I had her to come home to each night.
What kind of twisted, selfish fucking person breaks their boyfriend’s heart and then repeatedly stomps on it for two years?
I know I fucked up. I should have told her, but honestly, I hardly remember that night.
The seniors hazed us into oblivion, which I know isn’t an excuse, but if Kieren hadn’t made a point to remind me of my infidelity the next day, I would have convinced myself it was a dream.
That fucker lied to me. I asked him if there was evidence, and he said no, but I should have known better than to trust Kieren.
Life is a game to him, one where he takes sick pride in his ability to manipulate his desired outcome.
I should have seen this coming. I knew he was jealous of my relationship with Gabi, not because Monroe didn’t love him, but because time with Gabi meant time I wasn’t spending with Kieren.
He’s so goddamn needy and paranoid, always convinced people are going to leave him.
And guess what? He deserves to be left. He’s a terrible fucking person.
Monroe didn’t deserve what he put her through, but at the same time, she was the one who kept coming back.
Not Gabi, though. That fucking bitch could care less about me.
I wonder if she would even feel bad to know she was the reason why I hit rock bottom.
She’s lucky I didn’t push her further this morning.
Once the scent of her arousal filled the room, it was game over.
I could have kept going, but as much as I wanted to hear her beg, I knew I’d just be hurting myself by ripping open old wounds. My wounds, not hers.
Maybe I should have slit her throat. Lord knows I’ve fantasized about it. Bringing her to Sigma as Kieren wants would be the ultimate form of payback. Gabi’s not cut out for what happens in the basement. It would break her, and I would relish in watching her crumble.