Chapter 31
Chapter thirty-one
“Alright, girls! This next gift is only for our eyes, so come over here, and we’ll open them together!”
My mother gathers Katarina, Sloane, and Margot over in a corner by the tree, mostly hidden from my brothers and me on the couch.
Whatever they tear into has them all howling with laughter, and Mom catches my eye with a wink.
Sloane grabs my wife’s arm to say something in her ear, then throws her head back, laughing even harder.
This Christmas Eve has been more stereotypically magical than any that I can recall since my childhood, and I’m feeling particularly sentimental watching Katarina.
We’ve talked about the lack of emotional connection that she endured as a child, although Sasha and some members of her father’s staff helped.
If there was ever any concern of how she would handle my family, who on the best day can be a lot, I knew after Thanksgiving that she was fitting right in.
Being here in my mom’s house has been a storybook holiday so far, and I’m doing my best to keep Katarina’s mind off the break-in at our home.
We still aren’t any closer to figuring out who’s behind it, but my wrath will ensure that whoever it was will never have a chance for a repeat once we catch them.
The girls pack their secret gifts away again, and Margot and Sloane, both fairly pregnant at this point, sit heavily back down on the couch.
Jack and Ledger swarm them, putting footstools in front of each and handing them a drink refill.
Ledger places a plate of sweets between the girls, and Jack glares at him before putting down his own plate of sliced fruit.
I understand for the first time the urge to cater to a woman’s every need, and I can’t imagine the way that feeling must amplify when she’s carrying your child.
My wife is still with my mother, deep in conversation by the tree, so I decide to leave her to her own devices for a bit.
Catching her eye, I give her a saucy wink, and her blush is captivating.
I love that she still blushes for me, even after the debauchery we’ve taken part in.
Standing, I wander toward the kitchen, pouring myself another drink and grabbing another Christmas cookie before sitting at the breakfast table.
My brothers join me, satisfied that their women are taken care of.
“I’m gonna guess that by the wink I just saw, you finally managed to overcome your crippling fear of sexually disappointing your wife and…ow!”
The back of Ledger’s hand makes satisfying contact with Jack’s head, but he still grins at me, and honestly, I can’t do anything but laugh.
“What Jack is trying to say is that we’re sorry for not checking in more often, and we’d like an update on you and Kat,” Ledger says, glaring at Jack.
Jack, recovered from his head wound, continues.
“Is she pregnant?” he asks, and Ledger’s head hits the table with a thud before lifting it to give me an apologetic look.
“What?” Jack asks indignantly. “We had a whole plan, Ledger. You can’t act like we weren’t gonna bring it up at some point.”
I sip my drink as Jack gives me a very passionate yet clearly rehearsed speech. Ledger drains his glass and pours himself another before shrugging his shoulders in a “what can you do?” way.
“So, Henry, our fearless family leader. What we’re trying to say is that we would really like to have the cousins all close in age.
We love Kat, Mom loves Kat, and Sloane and Margot are basically obsessed with her.
It’s obvious she’s sticking around, which is great, but if she’s not already pregnant, we need to get you guys on a PIP. ”
Frowning, I ask, “You want to put my wife and me on a performance improvement plan?”
This is apparently the funniest thing Jack’s ever heard, and I wonder exactly how many eggnogs he’s had this evening.
“No, silly. A prompt impregnation plan. Margot has already threatened my balls if she doesn’t get a break after the twins are born because she wants to be in top shape for the monstrosity of a wedding she’s planning,” Jack says, before Ledger interrupts.
“Sloane has also made me promise her a break after this one, although I think she forgets how cute they are when they’re tiny and fresh. Granted, I am looking forward to her having periods again…”
“The point is,” Jack continues, “if you want in on this first round of grandkids, the time is now, bro. Otherwise, you might have to wait a few years to jump in. Now, if she’s on birth control, I know it might seem impossible.
However, Ledger and I were once in your position in dire straits, and there are…
creative paths you can take. If it’s a pill, you can actually get exact dupes online and switch ’em out. Easy peasy.”
I make eye contact with Ledger, expecting another commiserative glance regarding Jack’s birth control lecture, but he’s nodding along.
“If it’s not a pill, that’s more complicated, but we know a very discreet doctor…anyway, if she’s not on birth control and she’s not pregnant, Ledger has a turkey baster so you can really get in there and…”
“Jack,” I say, stopping him short of what I think was about to be a suggestion to turkey baste my semen into my unknowing wife.
“Thank you very much for his informative discussion. I don’t think I’ll need the turkey baster just yet, but it’s good to know it’s an option.
Although I think I’ll buy a new one rather than borrow Ledger’s. ”
Draining my own glass to try to keep pace as Ledger pours refills, I decide there’s no reason to deny my truth to my brothers. If I have my way, we’ll all have plenty more reason to spend time together as one big family. And I’ll definitely need their advice if I’m lucky enough to be a dad.
“There’s no birth control, and to my knowledge, Katarina isn’t pregnant. Yet,” I add, and Jack and Ledger both smirk. “It’s not something that we’re preventing or something that we’re actively working toward at this time. We’ve been married barely over two months. Give me a chance.”
Margot calls for Jack, who’s up and back into the living room like a rocket.
Ledger sits quietly for a moment with an ear to the door to see if Sloane calls out too, but she doesn’t.
He stays with me as we sip our drinks until his eye catches on a framed family photo that Mom has in her kitchen.
It’s the six of us at Christmastime when Margot was a baby, and we’re all smiling around the tree.
Well, as much as our dad ever really smiled.
Ledger has his own demons he’s had to deal with, due to our dad’s pressure on him throughout the years, and he breathes out a heavy breath before turning his attention away from the photo to eye me.
“You know,” he says quietly, “I was absolutely terrified of fucking up LJ the way Dad fucked me up. As excited as I was to get Sloane pregnant, as obsessed as I was to create something that belonged to just us, born out of our love…I was terrified, Henry.”
Ledger looks up with tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face.
“But it’s the best, brother. It’s so good that I don’t know how that bastard never realized it.
I’ll never understand, but that’s not my problem anymore.
I can’t imagine treating LJ the way he treated me, or you for that matter, and I barely even think about him anymore unless I see his picture.
” He’s wiping his eyes as Sloane finally calls for him.
As we both stand, he pulls me into a tight hug.
“If you ever wondered at all if you’d be like him, don’t.
You won’t. You’ll be amazing, and so will Kat.
You know you can always call me if you want to talk, big bro.
Trust me, when that first teething scream hits, you’ll want every trick I have in the book,” he says with a watery laugh.
Clapping him on the shoulder, I make Katarina a plate of food before I head back into the living room to take care of my woman, only to find a round of what looks to be Christmas Pictionary in progress.
Jack has managed what I think is supposed to be a stocking, but it’s skewing phallic in shape, and everyone is laughing and making increasingly bad guesses while he gets more and more frustrated. The harder he tries, the more it just looks like an avant-garde, or perhaps diseased, dick.
Seeing the back of my wife’s head on an oversized loveseat in the corner, I head straight for her, only to find her cuddled up and holding a sleeping LJ. Bending down to press a kiss to her temple, I add a soft one to LJ’s forehead for good measure. And maybe good luck.
“Hi,” she whispers. “Oh yay, a snack! Fruit and pigs in blankets? My hero.”
She winks at me and adds a mouthed, “Thank you, Daddy,” and I fight the urge to hand the baby back to my brother and abscond with her upstairs like a caveman.
Sitting beside her, I feed her small bites since her hands are full with the baby. Eventually, the Pictionary game becomes less raucous and fizzles out with everyone lying around eating and halfway paying attention to various Christmas movies on TV.
I’m scratching Katarina’s scalp with my arm around her shoulders when I notice both Jack and Ledger, across the room from each other, lying in Margot’s and Sloane’s laps and softly talking to their bellies.
Having Katarina in my life has changed me already in so many ways, but fuck if seeing my brothers and their families doesn’t prove exactly how much I was missing out on before.
I don’t know if I’ve ever felt the flames of jealousy lick up my spine as acutely as they do at this moment.
Perhaps as a child, watching Ledger and Jack act more like twins than friends or even brothers.
Or maybe when they would play as Father pulled me into another lesson or meeting.
Now, though, is an entirely new level of need.
Taking a deep breath, I move my fingers from my wife’s scalp to LJ’s, gently petting his soft blond hair and marveling at the sleepy coo he makes before sucking on his pacifier twice and falling back asleep.
God.
Katarina leans her head further back onto my arm and turns to smile sleepily up at me.
“I can take him if you’re tired, Kitten,” I say softly, offering her a break.
She shakes her head even as her eyes close.
“Absolutely not. I don’t get to see him enough as it is. I need to stock up on snuggles while we’re all here together,” she replies.
Have I really been hoarding her from my family to the point that she thinks she doesn’t see the baby enough? I’ll have to make it a point to reinstitute weekly family dinners at the estate. Potts would have a field day with everyone coming over more often.
LJ stirs a little more, and Katarina whispers reassurances that I don’t understand, murmuring softly in Russian. She’s so good with him, and with his blond hair and gray eyes, he could easily pass for ours. Fuck, I wish he was.
Fully enveloped in my daydream now, I think about what she would look like pregnant, how if she thinks I smother her now, she’d have another thing coming.
Flashes of possibilities fly through my brain.
Wheeling her into a hospital suite, her struggling through the pain of labor to bring our child into the world, sleepily gazing at me with a smile while our baby lay on her chest.
I feel a tear trail down my cheek as LJ decides to make his presence known, and I’m snapped out of my fantasy. His plaintive wail makes Sloane and Ledger’s heads snap up immediately, and my brother practically teleports across the room to pull him gently from her arms.
“No offense, guys, but I think it’s feeding time,” he explains, giving me a knowing look and understanding smile like he knows why I’m trying to hold it together. He takes the baby as he and Sloane say their goodnights and head upstairs.
“I think he’s right,” Jack says. “I’m peckish too. Feeding time. Come on, Princess.”
Rolling my eyes as my wife betrays me by laughing at Jack’s crass joke about my baby sister, I give her a tiny pinch.
She swats me back, and in our tussle, she ends up straddling me on the loveseat.
Mom went to bed a bit earlier, so we’re alone in the room, the soft glow of the tree creating a perfect Christmas ambiance.
She notices my tear streaks, of course, and concern fills her beautiful face.
“Henry? Are you okay?” she murmurs, and I give her a soft kiss before pulling her into me in a crushing hug and burying my face in her neck. Taking a few minutes to compose myself, I breathe her in as she rubs tiny, caring patterns on my neck. Finally pulling back, I take a moment to look at her.
“I love you,” I say quietly. “I love you so very, very much.”
Her lips turn up at the corner as she traces my cheekbones and my browline, following a path down my cheek and underneath my bottom lip.
“I love you too,” she whispers. “Will you take me to bed?”
I stand with her in my lap, and she wraps her legs around my waist. I turn off the lights before moving toward the stairs.
“You can have the bathroom first for your bedtime routine. I might take a quick shower before we—”
She interrupts me as I put her down near her side of the bed, then turn to shut the door behind us.
“I’m not tired, Henry. Lock the door,” she says, and my brain doesn’t compute what she means.
“You wanted to sleep…” I turn around to find her pajamas on the floor, leaving her in a red corset, stockings, and a garter belt.
“I never said a word about sleeping. I asked you to take me to bed,” she purrs, climbing onto the bed and kneeling, elbows down and ass high in the air. “Please lock the door, Daddy.”
Following her instructions and reminding myself to spank her later for being a brat, I lock the door and unwrap the best present I’ve ever received.