Chapter Seventeen
The Caged
It’s quiet and I feel like I can finally take a deep breath as I rock the growing child in my arms. It’s still mid-afternoon, but he is past due for his nap and the days he stays awake are the days I start to panic at the motherhood I was thrown into.
Usually one of the nannies comes and takes him so I can rest, but they haven’t been as present today, leaving me to care for him alone.
I don’t mind it, sometimes. It’s nice to have someone present who doesn’t force you to act or speak.
Just be present. That’s all he requires of me.
But other times, times after Tobias has been rough, I can’t bear to look at that small child and not think of his mother.
Tobias has been gone for over two days now, doing something at our borders he said. He didn’t tell me which border, but he was supposed to return today and has yet to arrive. All his trip has done is leave me with a four- month-old child that isn’t mine.
Cyn has been good, he’s a pretty quiet child, but I’m not his mother and he knows that.
He knows I don’t carry milk in my breasts, so instead I have to force bottles in his mouth.
He is confused, and I don’t blame him. He’s barely out of the womb and his entire life has been uprooted.
I am still unsure whether or not Nylah is dead, or if she is in the dungeon.
I thought about sneaking down there, but I am not alone very often, nor have I ever really been able to explore the palace.
Laris has been giving me privacy when Cyn is here, letting me do what I need to do, and instead of being in the room, he stands guard outside.I feel less like a caged animal this way, but it’s still a cage. I just have a child stuck inside with me.
I sway back and forth, Cyn sucking on a little piece of wood Lydia brought for him, when the door opens.
I glance up as Malia walks in, her dirty blonde hair tied up in a knot.
She smiles at me as she approaches and reaches for Cyn.
The door is cracked, and I can just make out the edge of Laris’s silver armor as he keeps watch on the hall.
“Any news?” I ask quietly. She sets Cyn down in his tiny bassinet, wrapping his blanket around him, before coming back up to me.She looks nervously over her shoulder before leaning in so she can whisper, her fingers lightly brushing my arm.
“I asked around and found an older couple in Tatus who claim to be Nylah’s aunt and uncle.
Her parents have passed, so they are the last remaining kin she may have.
” My heart skips and I nearly topple over in relief.
Relief that parents aren’t waiting out there for their child to return home that never will, and relief that there is someone else related to Cyn out there that isn’t Tobias.
“They have agreed to take in the child.” She finishes and I grip her hands tightly.
“Thank the Gods.” I whisper.
“Your Grace, we can take him tonight, before the king returns, but—” She stutters and looks around as if she’s searching for something.
“What?” My eyes briefly glance around.
“I worry for your safety, Your Grace.” I exhale and release my death grip on her hand before stepping away. I turn towards Cyn, his curious blue eyes staring up at me, his tiny hands gripping the edge of the blanket.
He is who we should worry about.
“I am, too, Malia. I am concerned for how Tobias will react. Concerned that my life may be forfeit if we do this, but my priority right now is him. Cynfael can’t be here.
He needs to be with family, with those who would protect him from his father.
There is only so much I can do, and I worry that any aggression he has shown Nylah, shown myself, may redirect to him.
To his child.” She’s quiet as she comes to stand next to me, her fingers gripping onto the side of the basinet.
I have no doubt that the worry eating through my mind is the same worry that is plaguing her.
That she, too, has thought about Tobias and Cyn.
What kind of relationship they would have.
“So what do we do, just act as if nothing is amiss? There is no way any of us would make it out of the walls before being caught. I wouldn’t make it past the nursery before being stopped, Your Grace.
” I turn toward her, taking in the lines appearing next to her eyes.
Her brows are furrowed, her bottom lip planted firmly between her teeth.
“No, I can’t risk your life. No one’s life should be in peril.
This was my decision. My choice.” She looks over at me, confusion washing over her face.
“We stage a kidnapping.” Her eyes widen, her lips parting.
I stay stoic, strong. It’s what my mother would want from me.
What she would expect from me if she were here.
Cyn. Cyn is whose life I need to protect.
“Elaenor…” She forgoes my title, her hand reaching for mine as sorrow replaces the confusion marring her lovely face.
“Take him tonight, or whenever possible, but we have to make it look real.” I urge while trying to keep my voice down. I glance at the door again, Laris unmoved .
“I don’t understand.” She squeezes my fingers, and my gaze returns to her.
“Malia, I need you to find someone who is willing to hurt me, make it look like I put up a fight. Someone who could come in here undetected and take him. Someone we could trust to ensure his safety.”
“Your Grace, I—”
“This is for him, for Cyn, not for me. We need to protect him. He is just a child, a babe. He can’t be here, near the king.”
“I know someone, someone in the village by Tellavid. Someone who could do as you ask, but what will become of you?”
“We don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be okay. I always am.” Her shoulders drop and she reaches up to cup my cheek.
“I will see to it.”
Night falls and I brush a tiny copper lock from Cyn’s face, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling in the dim light as he looks up at me.
He looks just like him, Tobias. I could almost imagine that this is what our child would look like, aside from the copper hair.
A child who would be free to run around the palace.
A child who could be happy. But that isn’t what my child’s life would entail.
They would have a father who prefers to lash out instead of talk.
Someone who favors aggression and blood to tenderness and care.
I can’t imagine the kind of monsters his children would grow up to be. Who they wouldn’t have a choice but to become if they wanted to survive.
“When you are older, Cyn, I will find you. I will come to Tatus, and I will tell you about Noterra and your father. I’ll tell you the good and the bad, every part of the man he is.
I want you to have a choice, a choice in who you live with.
If you want to come live with me, once all of this is over, I will welcome it with open arms. You will always have a home with me.
” He coos and I blink back the sudden wetness in my eyes.
I take a slow, shaky breath around the lump in my throat.
“I may not be your mother, but I love you. You deserve so much more in this life. I hope your aunt and uncle can give that to you.” I lean down, pressing my lips to his tiny forehead.
Time moves slowly. Malia promised it would happen tonight, but the fear I feel right now isn’t for my own safety. I don’t care what happens to me, but of the child in my arms. I only hope that whoever she found to handle this task is someone we can trust.
I don’t jump when footsteps on the balcony echo through the room. A gloved hand spins me around, but I keep my eyes on the child in my arms.
“Please make sure he’s safe.” I whisper.
“I will ensure you receive whatever you want as long as Cyn is safely taken to his family.” The man doesn’t speak, but I can see his dark cloak in my peripherals.
I can see his gloved hands reach for Cyn.
Reach for what could possibly be the only chance I have at being a mother.
He’s taken from my arms, and I keep my gaze locked on his as the blow to my temple knocks me to the ground.
My head feels as if it is underwater. As if my ears are filled with liquid and are unable to ascertain what the noises I hear are. I can hear mumbling, maybe even shouting, but it’s too far away.
“Your Grace!” Yelling echoes throughout my head as the fogginess clears.
My jaw is pounding, my throat dry. I force my eyelids to part as I look around.
I can taste the metallic tang of blood in my mouth as I try to work a swallow.
“Elaenor!” A rough hand shakes my shoulder and I slowly turn my gaze to Laris.
His brows are furrowed as he leans over me, fear etched into his face.
“Laris?” I croak, my throat protesting.
“Are you alright?” I place my hand on the marble floor, pushing myself up into a sitting position as I take in the guards combing the room .
“What happened?”
“The prince, he’s gone.” My eyes widen and I glance around the room. The bassinet is tipped over, the balcony doors wide open. I scramble to my knees, my hand coming up to touch my temple. I wince as my palm grazes the bruise I have no doubt is growing.
“What do you mean he’s gone?” I whisper, tears pricking my eyes. I planned this, I knew this was going to happen, but I still feel an overwhelming sorrow weighing on my chest as if a horse stomped on my heart.
“He’s been kidnapped, Your Grace.” His voice is soft, and I know he is going to get in trouble with Tobias. I foresaw this, but I knew he would be alright. I had to believe he would be alright. I almost feel bad. Laris is the only one who hasn’t hurt me, who hasn’t forced himself upon me.
I am helped to my feet and walked over to the settee where I collapse with a wince. A cool glass is handed to me by one of the menders, apprentices to Master Pakin, and I know it’s the tonic. I take a sip and relish in the feel of it sliding down my throat.
“A rider has been sent off to alert the king. He should be here any moment; he was already on his way.” I nod and the mender scurries off.
I relax into the chair as guards search the room.
I don’t hide the tears sliding down my cheeks as they look for evidence, a few of them lingering on the balcony.
Lydia and Malia come in and wipe what I suspect is blood off my face with a warm cloth.
They each offer me a sympathetic smile, but the relief in their eyes is there.
A blanket is wrapped around my shoulders as we wait in silence.
“What happened?” Tobias’s voice is loud, and I jump. He rushes over to me, his cold hands brushing hair back from my face as he searches my eyes.
“I don’t know. I was rocking him to sleep and then I awoke on the floor with Laris yelling.
” My hands are trembling as I bring them up to fist his tunic.
“He’s gone, Tobias.” My voice cracks as he slides his hand to the back of my neck, holding me to his chest. He looks around the room, anger brewing in his eyes as he sees that his men have nothing.
No evidence, no leads. They are just standing there, useless.
The thought of his men being useless used to terrify me, because I knew they couldn’t help me, but I have never been more grateful for their inadequacy as I am right now.
“Search the grounds and the woods. Alert every port town. He is not leaving this kingdom!” Tobias snaps, his voice deep and ancient as he orders his men.
He sits beside me on the couch and pulls me onto his lap as everyone rushes out of the room.
“It’s okay, my love. We will get him back.
” I nod into his shoulder and relish the feel of his warm arms around me.
My tears soak into his tunic as he rocks me, his hand brushing hair out of my face. I close my eyes and let myself picture Cyn, a few years older. His copper hair shaggy and tied up, his blue eyes—
I gasp as I feel the pinprick in my arm. My eyes open, and all I see before the darkness takes over is anger.