Chapter Twenty-Five
The Caged
Ican hear him coming. His leather boots slapping the stone of the stairs. He’s not quiet. He never is.
“Did you miss me, my love?” He calls out from the stairs, his voice echoing around me. My fingertips dig into my palms, splitting the skin with my broken nails. I’m unlocked, untethered. All I need is for him to come closer.
The door creaks as he pushes it the rest of the way open. He inhales deep and slow as he walks up the table. He doesn’t react, or he doesn’t notice, that I am free. I am unconstrained.
His fingers brush my lips before they travel down my neck and in between my breasts.
“It’s been a long day, my Ela. I missed you.” He leans down, his lips pressing to mine. He tastes like whiskey. Cedar and ash mixing with the caramel notes of the alcohol, flooding my senses. My fingers tingle as he pulls away. They ache to reach out, ache to touch him.
Ache to drive this scalpel through his temple.
Nylah left it on the table after she escaped. Left it within reach. I have been holding it in my hand for what feels like an hour now.
Waiting.
He steps away, rattling to my right tells me he’s digging for instruments.
I wait.
I have all the time in the world. He steps back up to me, something cold running down my thigh. I don’t feel it, really. I’m numb.
Numb to pain. Numb to emotion.
I am just ready. Ready for the end.
“Do you want to know what I was doing today, Ela?” Silence. “I was preparing our armies. They will be shipping out soon, they’ll cross the sea to Labisa. Their country is defenseless without their king. So I’m going to give them a new one.” The blade presses into my skin, slicing it open.
But I don’t react. I don’t feel it.
“Will you be going with them?” The blade lifts. “Will I?”
“You would enjoy being tethered to my bed for the days it takes to travel, wouldn’t you?” I can hear him smiling, hear him picture it.
“I will go wherever you are. I will follow you.” What he thinks is a sign of devotion, is a threat. A promise . We are both destined for it to be the end. Today is last day of our lives. But I won’t give him time to grieve, time to beg.
His fingers trail back up my leg, smearing blood up to my stomach and then to my lips. He brushes them across, and I taste the metallic tang of my blood. He bends down, his lips touching mine again.
I open for him, let his tongue tangle with mine. Let him get comfortable. His hand holds my jaw, forcing my head to stay up, stay open. My pulse skips, my body tingles, and I know it’s time.
My hand shoots out, digging the blade deep. Somewhere. He gasps, his mouth breaking from mine .
I rip the blindfold off, and nearly cry in relief as I see the blade jutting out of his neck. His eyes are wide, his mouth filling with blood.
I jump off the table, making a run for the instruments, but his hand catches my arm. He yanks me back, throwing me against the table. Pain lances down my spine as he leans over me.
“You are going to regret this.” He says, blood gurgling out of his mouth, spraying across my face.
“You are going to burn in hell, and it will be me who lights the match.” I spit. His hand grips my neck, cutting off my oxygen supply. I wrap my fingers around his wrist, trying to pull it off. His free hand grabs the blade and rips it out, black blood spurting all over my bare chest.
Black .
“Did you think a simple blade would be all that it takes to kill me, my love? You cannot kill what is already gone.” My eyes widen, my lips part, and a choked gasp falls out.
I watch as the wound knits itself together, blood soaking back into his skin as if it was never shed to begin with.
“It wasn’t herbs or injections that healed you every night.
It was me. I was replacing every cell in your body, repairing every wound.
I was remaking you each time so that you were made just for me.
By me. I own your body and your soul. You cannot escape me, Elaenor.
” My vision darkens from a lack of oxygen, and I realize now that it won’t be us dying today.
It will just be me.
He thrusts the blade deep in my thigh, so deep I can feel it slice through bone and nearly come out the other side.
He rips it out, throwing it across the room, and I fall to the ground.
I inhale sharply, my head pounding, as I look at the wound.
Blood pours out of me like a fountain, and I know in that moment, he hit an artery.
But it isn’t pain I feel. It is a never-ending tingle, a never-ending feeling of something brewing deep inside.
Something begging to come out. But I don’t think I will survive if it does.
I don’t know if I even want to .
“I want you to feel the pain I feel Elaenor. I want you to scream in agony. I want you to beg for your life as I strip you of everything.” He turns his back to me, my vision darkening with each strained breath.
I’m going to die here. My arm gives out, and I roll onto my back, unable to hold myself up.
I force an inhale, but no oxygen reaches my lungs.
I’m dying.
It’s as if time stands still, as if life is waiting to continue until I take a breath. A breath that doesn’t come as my eyes close. As I succumb to the death that has been waiting for me.
Open your eyes. I can hear him, his voice, calling to me.
Nora, open your eyes. Bright white light fills my vision as I force my eyelids to part.
I expected to see Tobias, but it isn’t him leaning over me.
Shaggy blonde hair falls in front of his blue eyes, soft and pure.
My hand lifts and I shakily touch his cheek, pleading for him to be real.
“I can feel you.” I whisper, a sob working its way up my throat.
“And I you.” A tear escapes his eye, trailing down his cheek to my fingers.
“Am I dead?” I ask. His hand reaches up to hold onto mine, his eyes closing briefly as if he’s savoring every second of this moment.
“No, but you will be soon.”
“I don’t understand.” I push myself up, my face inches from his. Sweetgrass flows around me, encompassing me in the scent of Theo.
“Things have been hard for you. More than I could have imagined. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I didn’t do anything to prevent this from happening and I am so sorry, Nora.” My other hand reaches up, cupping his face as I stare into his silver-lined eyes.
“It’s alright. I’m here now, with you.” I smile and lean forward, aching for my lips to touch his.
“No, you can’t stay here.” He leans back right before our lips brush.
“I don’t want to go, Theo.” I shake my head, tears dripping down my cheeks .
“You have so much left to accomplish. So much left to do. There are people counting on you.” He presses his forehead to mine and the tears flow freely. I shake my head and he grips the back of my neck. “I love you, Nora. I love you so godsdamn much, but you need to open your eyes.”
“No.” I shake my head, sniffing away the snot dripping from my nose.
“No, I can’t leave you. Please don’t make me leave you.
I have no one, and nothing. I’m alone. I can’t do this anymore.
” He leans back, his ocean eyes holding mine.
“Kiss me.” I whisper. He pauses for a second, hesitating, and then his lips are slamming into mine.
Tongue and teeth and tears. A moment I never want to end.
His hands tangle in my hair, pulling me as close as he can before he pushes me away.
“I love you so much.” He cries. “Open your eyes and fight. It’s not your time.”
“I don’t want to leave you, Theo. I can’t. I’m so alone.”
“You are not alone. I have been here, this whole time, I have been with you. And there are people who love you, people who are waiting for you out there. Those who have been there, just waiting for the moment you are free.” I shake my head. No. I can’t leave him.
“I love you. Don’t make me do this.” My shoulders shake as sobs break through the lump in my throat. He leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead.
“Goodbye, Nora.” His voice cracks and his hands disappear.
I open my eyes to darkness. A dark ceiling with only a single torch lighting the room.
I am no longer in pain, no longer struggling to breathe.
I glance over at Tobias, who is grabbing something from his tray of torture devices. Tears well up in my eyes as the scent of sweetgrass dissipates along with the feel of his lips. I take a single, pain-free breath before I open my mouth to speak.
“What else is there for you to take?” I say, my voice cracking.
“You have taken everything from me already.” My hands shake as I plant them on the floor and pull my knees underneath me.
“I have nothing left. I have no home.” I grunt as I force one of my feet to plant on the ground.
“I have no family.” My blood-slicked hands grip the table, and nearly slip as I pull myself up.
“I have nothing to lose.” I get out, my voice little more than a breathy whisper.
I look up at him, his eyes going wide as he looks at me.
Blood is pouring down my leg. My body is on fire, but it’s not painful, it’s invigorating. Everything feels as if it is seconds away from failing, but I’m not.
I won’t fail this time.
“You have everything to lose, Tobias.” I take a shaky step forward.
“You have a crown. You have a wife. You have a kingdom and a country full of slaves at your beck and call. You have riches and power. Armies and men. A son somewhere out there. You have everything to lose, and that makes you reckless. That makes you vulnerable . Do you know what having nothing makes me?” I ask as I take another strained step.
My fingers start to burn, my limbs shaking as if they are being pumped full of adrenaline. And I know.
I know what it is that’s calling to me. What it is that has been trying to break free this whole time.
My whole life.
“What?” He asks, his voice thick as he stares at me.
“Free.” I whisper. The darkness edging my vision is replaced with light as I burst.
Lightning burns through every vessel in my body. Every cell being decimated as I let it consume me.
As I erupt.