Chapter Forty-Seven
The Caged
Time moves differently when you aren’t happy. I thought it moved weird in Noterra, but here, it’s been days, and it feels as if I have lived through weeks, months even.
Nithe snores from his place on the settee, another night where I can’t sleep, where I can’t even breathe deep enough to get adequate oxygen.
Nausea has been coming on in waves, sending me to the bathing room multiple times.
Each time, he wakes and holds my hair. He ensures I drink water and make it back to bed.
Each night he cares for me, yet all I feel is fear in his presence. Fear after that first night after our wedding. Fear of what we had to do with an audience. Fear for what I felt and for what I enjoyed. Fear for what he did with Emery.
Fear for the person I am becoming.
We don’t speak during the day. I eat my meals alone or with Scarlett, I train with Emery on how to use a dagger, which I feel as if I might be getting good at it.
I train with Enzo on maneuvers and attempts to escape captivity.
Yet no one teaches me about my aether. No one even attempts to help me control it or learn more about it.
I try to learn more about our armies, but everyone shuts me out.
I feel like everyone is avoiding me, afraid of me.
I can barely channel my aether, no matter how many times I will for it to come. It feels like the connection between my mind and the starlight has been severed or is barely holding on.
I slide out from underneath the covers, my bare feet meeting the warm wooden floors.
The night is hot and humid, pressing down on me like a blanket of stones.
I climb onto the balcony and rest my hands on the railing.
The moon is full, bright. Stars sprinkle about the dark sky, reminding me of glitter.
I stare down at my hands, my palms tingling as they feel the stars presence. I will for the starlight to appear. Lightning flashes through my veins turning them white before they fade to a deep black.
I squeeze my hands shut, a tear escaping my eye.
Something is wrong. Something is eating away at my insides, and I feel like it’s going to keep feasting until all that is left of me is skin and bone.
I should tell someone, maybe Kassius. He would know what to do. But do I want him to even try? Why would I give up my one chance at disappearing, if that is what is happening?
I used to tell Tobias everything, but that only got me yelled at, or told I was lying. I used to be open, letting everyone in, but not anymore. I can’t let anyone in.
I shake my head and rest my hands back on the smooth stone.
I have a purpose, even if its just a visual one. I need to give the people hope, give them something, someone , to fight for. But how could I ask them to fight if I am not even fighting for myself.
The nausea pummels through me and I scramble through the window, nearly falling face first onto the ground. I reach the toilet seconds before what little dinner I ate comes spewing out of me .
My body convulses as I crouch over the toilet, tears mixing with the snot running down my face. A warm hand gathers my hair as another rubs my back.
“Breathe, little witch.” He whispers, his voice tired and quiet.
“I can’t—I can’t keep doing this.” I stutter in between ragged breaths.
“What do you want to do?” My back spasms as the dry heaving sets in.
“What can we do?”
“Do you remember what Kass said about your mother? What they did with her pregnancies?” I lean back, resting my cheek on my forearm.
“He siphoned their lives.” I whisper. His eyes are dark, the pupils nearly black as he looks me over.
“Your skin is pale. Your eyes are hollow and lifeless. This isn’t good for you.”
“Are you suggesting we have Enzo siphon the child’s life away?” His eyes soften and he licks his lips. His hand drops my hair, but his other one stays planted on my back.
“You aren’t healthy. I’m worried this will kill you.” I close my eyes for a second, relishing in the quiet. He doesn’t speak, his warm hand rubbing up and down my spine, easing some of the tension.
“Do I have to decide right now?” I whisper, my eyes still closed.
“No, this is your decision. I won’t make it for you.” I nod as his hand slides off my back. I crack open my eyes to see him adjusting, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“I’m sorry I keep waking you up.” He smiles, exhaling out of his nose.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t mind it.” I close my eyes again, exhaustion setting in. My limbs ache from training with Emery. My veins burn from the aether that fails to show.
“I can’t sleep.” I whisper.
“What?”
“I haven’t slept since the first night you were in here.”
“At all?”
“I can’t.”
“Why?” I crack open my eyes again. He’s leaning forward, his brows furrowed.
“I’m scared.” My voice cracks as I hold his gaze.
“What are you scared of?”
“That when I wake up, I’ll be back on that table.” The whites of his eyes go black, and I can feel the heat radiating off of him.
“You will never go back there. I promise.” His voice is thick, deep, as he fights against the beast under his skin.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” I lift my head off the toilet and use it to help me stand.
“Do you trust me?” His hand catches my elbow as he helps me rise.
“I don’t know you well enough to answer that question.” I reply, pulling out of his grip. I walk to the vanity, leaning against it as I grab my toothbrush and paste.
“Give me your hand.” He slices a dagger across his palm before setting it down on the vanity.
“What are you doing?” I say breathlessly as I search for a towel to cover his wound.
“Give me your hand.” He repeats. I set the brush down and hesitantly place my hand in his, the blood hot against my clammy skin.
“I, Nithe Draghena, pledge my life to yours. I will never harm you, nor will I allow another to harm you. I swear this with my life and with the blood of the wyvos running through my veins.” My eyes hold his, my lips parted.
I feel a sudden rush of electricity in the room, and I gasp.
I rip my hand from his as a purple glow spreads across my palm and up my arm.
“What is this?” Swirls and swirls of purple ink stain my skin. I can make out wings, scales, and stars intertwined within the different twists. “Nithe.” My voice cracks as I look up at him.
“I’ve never had that happen before.” His voice is just as hoarse as mine, his eyes wide.
I glance back down at my hand and watch as the ink fades until it’s gone.
I can just make out a small shimmering outline of what was there when I turn my arm, but it isn’t visible unless you are looking for it, unless the light catches it just right.
“What did you do?”
“It was an oath, a life oath. I have one with Enzo, but this didn’t happen.
” I glance at his hand and see the same shimmering swirls on his, visible on top of the black ink.
I reach for it and turn it over, palm up.
Stars and wings intertwined with swirls and streaks of lightning reflect on the torch light as if it’s made with glitter.
My pulse skips a beat and I drop his hand.
“I don’t…” My voice trails off.
“I will never let harm come to you, little witch. And now I have physical proof of that oath.” He lifts his tattooed hand, brushing hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear. “I promise.” He says again before dropping his hand and exiting the bathing chamber.
I turn back to the vanity, my gaze snagging on the mirror hung on the wall. My face is thin and pale. My eyes truly do look hollow and lifeless. I catch sight of a black line by my temple and lean in. A silent gasp escapes my lips as I realize what it is.
The black line is my vein.
I hesitantly reach up, my tattooed hand causing me to flinch as I press it to the vein. It glows softly and then dissipates.
I return to the bedroom with a clean face and mouth. Nithe is up, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at his palm as he moves it back and forth in the light.
“Have you ever seen a life oath do this before? I know you said you haven’t had it happen, but has someone else?” I ask, walking up the edge of the mattress. My fingers play with a loose thread of the throw, avoiding his gaze.
“No.” His voice is choked, hesitant. He drops his hand and stands. “Get some sleep, I’ll stay up.”
“No, you don’t need—”
“It’s been days, and you haven’t slept, Elaenor. I will make sure that nothing happens.” He gestures towards the bed again and I climb in. I curl my legs up against me, my arm wrapping around my knees as I rest my head on the pillow.
Exhaustion pulls at me, beckoning for me to join it in its dark abyss. Fear pulls at the edge of my mind, warning me of what could happen, but I push the thought away.
I can hear him walk to the window before sitting in the chair by the small dining table. His breathing is even, but every inhale causes my stomach to turn. I open my eyes again to see him staring at me.
“Sleep.” He commands.
“It’s your breathing.”
“What?”
“Your breathing is what keeps me from falling asleep. It sounds like…”
“I’m not Tobias.”
“I know that.” He’s quiet again.
“Try.” I nod and shut my eyes again. Unconsciousness pulls at me and for the first time in forever, I give in willingly.