Chapter Fifty-Three
The Caged
“She’s dehydrated and malnourished. If we’d known she was pregnant we could have given her herbs to ease her sickness.” Master Lenus’s voice is rushed and panicked.
“We only knew because she missed her monthly bleed.” Nithe speaks softly. I can feel him standing close to me, his hand brushing through my hair.
“It hasn’t even been that long since the wedding, how can you know for sure?” A female voice this time. Emery.
“She is pregnant.” His voice is little more than a snarl, his hand freezing in my hair.
“Gods. You can’t make her do this. After everything she’s been through, you’re going to force her to carry a child?” Scarlett yells. I can hear the panic in her voice.
“How is this my fault?” It’s Nithe who is yelling now.
“There are so many things you could have done to prevent this.” Scarlett snaps.
“Shouldn’t we be excited about an heir, not mad at the father?” Emery says, her voice stoic and emotionless.
“I am excited, but I am also worried about her. She can’t be a mother, not now!” Scar responds.
“Let her decide that.” Enzo. His voice is soft, calming, compared to Scarlett’s shrill voice.
“The last thing she needs is all of you standing here staring at her when she wakes up.” Emery snaps, the boredom in her voice replaced with irritation.
“I’m just standing here! Ow!” Erik yells as I am assuming Emery hit him.
“Everyone, out.”
“I’ll keep watch.” Nero is here.
“Who the hell even are you?” Nithe yells, his voice louder.
“Nero, Your Grace. We’ve met. General of the—”
“I don’t give a fuck. Get out!”
“Your Grace, respectfully, I don’t serve you. I serve the queen.” I can feel a wave of heat and smell something akin to smoke.
“Nero, she’s fine. She’s safe. We got it from here.” Enzo says, probably ushering him out of the room.
“Of course.” Footsteps dissipate.
“Where the fuck did he come from?”
“He came from the frontlines. Sent to help train the troops here.”
“He needs to go back.” He snaps, his breath fanning over my face.
“Is that jealousy I hear?”
“I’m not jealous.” His voice pitches and I fight the urge to smile, not that my body is really responding to me. Did they drug me again? I try to move my hands, but nothing happens.
“Could have fooled me.” A sarcastic female voice chirps from the other side of where I am laying, another one of Emery’s many voices.
“Emery! Go away.” Her laughter fades as she leaves .
“I knew she wasn’t sleeping, but I didn’t even realize she hadn’t been eating.” His voice sounds sad, broken.
“No one expected you to have to notice. All of this was supposed to be in name.”
“It was never going to be like that with us, you know that.”
“Speaking of things between you guys…” Enzo asks the question without asking.
“It’s not mine.” Nithe says after a second.
“I know. She told me today.”
“We are assuming it’s Tobias’s, but she said there were a lot of men who visited her while she was in the dungeons.” Enzo inhales sharply, and I can picture his face. His green eyes filled with pain. He’s had enough pain today.
“Who?”
“She doesn’t know. Just that there was a rotation.”
“Gods.”
“Yeah.”
“It has to be Tobias’s. She told me about the shadows. That she’s been seeing him.”
“What?” Nithe’s voice deepens and the smoke returns.
“She’s been seeing him. She thought she was attacking him when she killed that guard. She thought she was defending herself.”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“She’s not well. She’s scared.” It’s silent before Nithe speaks up again.
“Is it horrible if I say that I wish it wasn’t his? That I wish it was one of the other men who raped her?”
“No. Because if it is his, I don’t know what we will do.”
“Exactly.”
“When were you going to talk to me about the tattoos?” Silence follows. “I know what a tattoo for a life oath looks like, Nithe. You seem to forget that Fleur and I had them, although ours didn’t shimmer. They were just slightly darker than our skin tone.” More silence. Who’s Fleur?
“It’s not the same.” His hand untangles from my hair, and I feel his fingers brush my left arm.
“Are you serious? It’s exactly the same. Only people who are—”
“Stop. Okay. Stop . It’s not that.” He cuts him off. Who’s Fleur? What is he talking about?
“Why can’t you just accept that there is a chance she might love you someday?”
“She won’t. She stills loves Tobias. She cries for him in her sleep. She even told me she still loved him. But she also said she was in love with Theo. She doesn’t have room for me.”
“Both of which aren’t here. One is a demented asshole, and the other is dead.”
“Great, so I’m third place.”
“She needs space and time. She’s been through so much the last nineteen years of her life. We all have. And we are all so young. She just needs time.”
“We don’t have a lot of time. I have a weird feeling that our lives are so close to being over.” Nithe’s voice trails off and I get the feeling that he’s right.
“Since when did you become a prophet?” He snorts, and then I feel the brush of a finger on my forehead. I feel exhaustion pulling at my senses and I try to push it away.
“She looks so peaceful. I think being asleep is the only time she looks this way. Like she isn’t burdened with everyone’s problems.” Wake up, Elaenor!
“I can’t believe she went off on your father like that.” I can feel my consciousness slipping away and I fight it.
“I can. She’s strong. She just needs to realize it.” But it wins.
My eyes open to a darkened room. A few candles are lit, casting a faint glow across the pale wood.
Windows are open, letting a nice breeze in.
I am laying on something soft and warm. I flex my fingers and feel the fur slip between them.
I glance around the bedroom, looking for Nithe, but he isn’t there.
My hand finds my stomach and the small swell sitting there.
I sit up, my hand still holding my belly.
Noise from the bathing room causes me to jump. My heart races and I frantically look for a weapon but come up empty. I clamor off the bed and run to the open dressing room, hiding in the darkness. I hold my breath as I wait, panic overtaking my senses.
After what seems like forever, the door opens, and I run at whoever it is.
My arms go around their neck and I try to yank them back, but they are too strong.
I’m flipped over their head, my back headed towards the ground, when I catch Nithe’s eyes.
They widen and he twists midair throwing himself under me.
I land on top of him with a thud, my head slamming into his chest. I gasp as the wind is knocked out of me.
“Gods!” He yells as we both catch our breath. Once my breath has finally stabilized, I lift my head slowly. A smirk is plastered to his face, revealing a dimple.
“I prefer all greetings to end like this, little witch.” I glance down and see my thighs on either side of his, my nightgown bunched to my hips, exposing my undergarments.
I sit back, attempting to climb off of him when he sits up, grasping my backside and flipping us over.
My back ends up on the rug, his lower body nestled between my legs.
Hardness meets softness and I fight the urge to arch my back. I glare at him, fighting the arousal pooling in my belly.
“Get off of me.” I push on his chest, and he grabs both wrists in one hand, pinning them above my head.
“You attacked me, little witch. I was just defending myself.” He leans down, his nose almost touching mine. The minty scent of toothpaste mixes with the citrusy scent of him and I breathe deeply. “What were you going to do if it wasn’t me? ”
“Kill you.”
“I highly doubt that.” I roll my eyes and tilt my head, exposing a bit of my neck. His eyes trace the line of my jaw down my neck and to my collarbone. “Your nightdress isn’t very queenly.” He muses.
“I’m not the one who put me in it.” I retort.
“That would be Scarlett.”
“Of course it was.” He adjusts, settling in deeper against me and I bite my lip. He doesn’t miss the movement. What is wrong with me? “How are you feeling?”
“Tired. Like I can’t breathe because I have 200 pounds of wyvos on me.”
“I can make it 2000 pounds if you want.” He quips with a lopsided grin.
“I don’t want.”
“What about—”
“Don’t finish that thought.” I whisper.
“You want me to get off? Make me.” He threatens, leaning close.
“I can’t, you’re too heavy.”
“You can.”
“I am ill.” I pout.
“No you aren’t, you’re pregnant.” He rolls his eyes and I glare at him.
“Same thing.”
“No it isn’t, now make me get off of you.
” I pull at the hand holding onto my wrists and he relents.
I push on his chest, but he doesn’t budge.
His hand slides down from my shoulder and I shudder as his thumb brushes my ribs.
I kick my foot at his thigh, and he shifts slightly, pressing further into me.
His hand travels from my ribs to my hip.
I slap his arm away and he holds it out for a second before starting at my shoulder again.
I squirm under him, sliding my body down, but all that does is rub the apex of my thighs against him. Damnit. His eyes heat as he stares down at me, and I suddenly question why I am fighting him. Fighting this.
This doesn’t have to be serious. This could be something fun, something I control. I think he senses my change of thought as his hand stills. His body freezes as his eyes lock onto mine. A shallow breath escapes my lips, following another shudder.
“Elaenor…” He whispers. My head tilts back so I can look at him fully. His eyes search mine before his hand slips from my hip to my knee, holding my leg against him.
“Nithe.” I say breathlessly. I can hear his heart racing in tune with mine as we lay in silence. He presses his hips harder against me and I arch my back as a tingling hits my core.
“Don’t fuck with me.” My lips part to speak and he takes it as his opportunity.
His lips crash into mine, his tongue curling into my mouth.
My hands find his chest and fist his tunic.
He leans back, taking me with him, so I am sitting on his lap.
His hands cup my backside as I wrap my arms around his neck.
His kiss is like a drug, one I could get lost in.
His hands slide up from my back to my hair, pulling my head back.
His lips break from mine as they trail down my jaw and to my neck.
I arch my back as he nips at my shoulder.
His teeth pull at the thin strap of the nightgown, letting it fall down my shoulder.
His lips press into my collar bone as his hand pulls the other strap down.
“Nithe.” I whisper. The strap slides down my arm and the cool air brushes the hardened peak of my nipples. I can feel him hardening underneath me and I arch my back again, pushing myself harder against him. “Nithe.” I say a little louder.
“What?” He responds, pulling back to look at me. “What’s wrong?” His eyes search mine frantically.
“I can’t. I can’t do this if strings are attached.”
“What?” He freezes.
“No feelings.” I repeat.
“Are you telling me, or yourself?” He spits.
“I told you, name only.” He sits back slightly, and I bite my lip. “Nithe.”
“I’m not going to use you like a whore. If I have sex with you, I’m going to do so as your husband.
I’m going to fuck you as a man should fuck his wife and nothing less.
” My face falls and I slide my hands down his chest. I look down, my forehead brushing his chin.
I don’t fight the tear that escapes my eye, trailing down my cheek.
“I can’t do feelings, Nithe. I can’t.”
“At all or just with me?” My head snaps up and my nose brushes his.
“What?”
“Nero?”
“You mean the guard I met like two days ago?” I snap.
“The way he looks at you, and you look at him like—”
“Like what?”
“Like he’s a breath of fresh air.” The similarities between this moment and one I had with Tobias is disheartening—is terrifying. My throat constricts and I scramble out of his lap, pulling my strap back up.
“And I look at you with duty.” I whisper.
“Yes.”
“I had this same exact conversation with Tobias about Theo.”
“And which one of them did you fall in love with, Elaenor?” He snaps as he gets to his feet.
“The one who didn’t make me feel like I was an object, like I was more than just the blood that runs through my veins.”
“And I do? What do you expect from me?”
“If this marriage wasn’t arranged, forced , would we have been together?”
“What?” He recoils as if I hit him.
“Answer the question. If you weren’t forced into this and I was just some girl who is your best friend’s sister. If I was just a queen who you assisted in rescuing. Would we even be interested in one another?”
“I don’t know!” I sit back against the mattress and shake my head.
“That’s my point. You see me as a duty as well. You see me as a burden.”
“No. I do not. Don’t tell me what I see.” He snaps.
“You go from being a jerk to being sweet. You make me feel powerful and weak at the same time. You make me want to scream and hurt you but simultaneously want to be the one who hurts those who do the same.” I admit.
“That is called love, Elaenor.”
“I don’t love you!” His head snaps back as if I struck him. “You couldn’t have expected me to say anything different.”
“Because you love Tobias.”
“No! Not everything has to do with him!”
“Yes, it does, Elaenor! You base every decision, every interaction off of ones you’ve had with him. And I can’t blame you. You’ve been through so much and gods I am so sorry for what you’ve been through, but you need to grow up.”
“Excuse me?” I step back, my lips parting in shock.
“You need to grow up and realize that life isn’t easy and it’s going to suck, but for people like us, it stays that way. We don’t get happy endings and the sooner you realize that the sooner you can begin to live.”
“Get out.”
“This is my room too.”
“Get out!” I yell as I step towards him. He steps out of the way of my hands.
“No! You don’t want to stay in here with me? Fine. You can leave. I’m done catering to you.” My hands ball into fists and I push past him, heading towards the door. “Elaenor.” He says softly, but I ignore him, slamming the door behind me.