Caj’s Angel (Eternal Lovers #1)

Chapter One

“How

people die remains in the memory of those who live on”

—Dame

Cicely Saunders

Caj

Caj wasn’t afraid of

her. She was a being who equaled his will and strength. What he was

afraid of was that she would leave. That this would be the last

time he ever looked at her again. Never trust an angel. Only pain and suffering can come from

such … devotion and love. Their love is too pure for the likes of

one who takes on sin. The

words echoed through his mind, long-lost words of a sin-eater from

the past. One who’d known what it meant to have loved and truly

lost.

What the

hell do I know about

love?

I

know a lot.

I know

it’s a feeling beyond

compare. A feeling most live and die for.

God, he’d been

reduced to arguing with himself. It had been centuries since he’d

even touched on such an emotion. He lived through others and

enjoyed the thrill their desires aroused in him. However, it also

kept him wanting something more. More than anything, his need for

her overrode everything else.

Mercy had been his

only chance to feel something other than the blackness of sin and

the longings of others. Being a sin-eater, he took in the sins of

humans so they would die a sweet death and be able to go through

the pearly gates to reach their nirvana. She, on the other hand,

escorted them through gates he might never see. After all, he had

been cursed and doomed to this fate of taking on a mortal’s pain,

anguish, and yes, even their evil.

Mercy,

my beautiful, sweet divine

Mercy.

Mercy deserved

better, and she could be with someone better than him. As always,

he watched her from the shadows, lurking behind the dark

veil.

Mercy stood off in

the far corner of the room. She was standing by a girl’s family as

they prayed for forgiveness for their loved one. With beautiful

mocha-colored skin, and her long, raven hair that curled just

right.

Dressed in a pair of

jeans and a blouse … another myth was destroyed. They didn’t wear

robes. Nor did she resemble a fat cherub with a diaper and wings.

Just as he wasn’t dressed in an all-black robe, resembling the Grim

Reaper with a scythe. They wore whatever apparel would be worn at

the time.

She was loveliness

personified while he was scarred from his choices as well as the

choices of man. He hid in the darkest reaches of the room, not

wanting her to see him. Not yet. He’d be lying if he said that

every time was hard when it came to eating their sins. No, it was

hard when it came time to do so and she was there. He didn’t want

her pity. He hated that she saw what he’d become. He’d once been

human … a human she could love. Now he was just a thing that

survived on the transgressions of others.

It

wasn’t as if she’d ever said

anything, but she’d witnessed his cursed life every time he had a

duty to fulfill. He had no clue what would lift the torment, and

perhaps he never would. However, just once, he wanted to see her

eyes burning with passion for him and not with sympathy. He wanted

to know her touch again, to taste her lips against his own. No more

dreaming of it, he wanted the reality. Such a memory was a lifetime

ago. There was a time when she’d felt more than pity for

him.

Wasn’t

there? Or had I merely

dreamed it?

He felt

Dirge’s presence before he saw him. Stiffening his shoulders, he prepared himself for

the mental attack to come.

“Still

thinking that if you just screw her, everything will be, okay? You

lost your chance at that sweet thing long ago.”

It

wasn’t what Dirge said that

set him on edge so much. It was the fact Dirge could possibly be

right. Maybe he had lost his chance to be with her to feel once

more what he had in the past with her. It had been so long ago

though, before he’d become a death angel. An angel unlike Mercy,

wingless and a less-glorified member of the seraphs.

“Shut the fuck

up, Dirge. Do your duty and leave me be.”

Dirge

chuckled and moved to stand beside Mercy.

Mercy only turned

slightly, giving a slight nod of her head in Dirge’s

direction.

Wailing now filled

the room, and it became obvious that the girl was slipping

away.

Dirge

moved seamlessly between the

roomful of mourners, his very presence the catalyst for the

mournful outcry.

The room

soon became a cacophony of

cries, the sound tearing at Caj’s heart. Lament, pain, and agony,

those were the emotions in the room. Dirge survived off such. Where

Caj hated what his duty represented, Dirge could almost orgasm off

it all. Dirge had been at this for centuries, and he was good at

it. He helped give voice to the agony of the mourners. This was a

walk in the park for him. For as much as Caj hated his job, Dirge

loved his. The only saving grace for Caj would be the fact that

without his duty, the souls of many would be lost.

Suddenly, a feeling

hit him and pulled him out of his contemplation.

Mercy was signaling

to him that it was time for him to perform his onus. She didn’t

need words to get his attention. All that was needed was her

thinking of him. “Caj, your

presence is required.” She

spoke into his dead soul, her call being the only thing that could

shut out all other sounds and make the blackness turn to

light.

He

pulled his form from obscurity, moving slowly toward her as he couldn’t do anything other

than that. If she weren’t an angel, he’d think she was a siren as

her call was so sweet. “I’m here, Mercy.” He didn’t speak into her

mind, though he could have. He preferred talking to her like this

as it always caused her to speak to him. Her voice was a delightful

melody.

“It’s time, Caj.

It’s time for you to take away her sins, so she can ask forgiveness

and go through the gates.”

For a

moment, jealousy bit at him

because the girl would get to see what he never would. He focused

back on Mercy. Though she spoke of his duty, her words always had a

way of making him feel like she’d caressed him. He nodded and took

his place at the girl’s side. Taking her hand in his, he closed his

eyes and murmured ancient words. He brushed his fingers over her

golden hair, trying to soothe her as she struggled with her

fear.

They all had it the

moment when they knew they were dying and the fear came over them

like gangbusters. He blanketed her in those words until her ragged

breathing began to even.

Though

the humans in the room

couldn’t see him, the girl could. Her hand tightened in his,

flexing. “I’m scared.”

“Don’t be, little

one. Once I’ve taken your sins, all will be forgiven and the

beautiful angel behind me … will guide you home.”

“But I don’t want to leave.”

“You have to. There is no room for you here.”

“Please, I haven’t had my own children, I never married.”

“I understand more than you know. This life isn’t for you, and perhaps the

Maker has another life for you to experience.”

“I can

have another life?” The girl’s eyes shone with hope.

“Yes,

another life possibly. If it’s the Maker’s will … another time to

get it right.”

“But will I

remember this life?” She kept searching for assurance from

him.

He

wouldn’t give her false hope. There was a good chance she could try again, but there was

also the possibility that this was it for her. “Perhaps, but that,

my dear, is up to God. While a chance at another life is a miracle,

the Maker may grant it.”

She swallowed

hard.

A

woman in the room placed a

crust of bread on the girl’s chest. Then another person handed a

mug of what would be ale.

Yes, the usual

practice. Humans were always melding the old and the new together,

making their own religion. An old spiritualist shuffled in, and the

family moved away from the bed to give him room. This was

their sin-eater.

Caj

shook his head, as little did

they know the old man had no such power with the true sin-eater was

here and present.

The old man in the

black robes grabbed the ale and chugged it down then ate the

bread.

Once again, the room

filled with mournful wails, edged on by Dirge.

“Is it time?” the

little girl asked.

“Yes, it’s time.”

Caj nodded. “Close your eyes and relax your mind. You’re being

called home.”

“Home … yes, I

want to go home. Thank you.” By this time, the little girl’s

breathing was shallow almost stilted, but she still thanked

him.

This tugged at Caj’s

heart. Now he felt the girl’s hand flex in his once more. Closing

his eyes as well, every sin she’d ever committed poured slowly from

her body and into his. Tensing, he braced himself, not having to

open his eyes to know a blackish smoke left the girl’s mouth and

made its way to him. Caj opened his mouth and breathed in deeply,

so every sin she committed became his.

“Are you an

angel?” the girl asked him.

Caj

gazed into her eyes and

smiled.

The girl

now seemed to be at ease. The

pain she’d once been feeling was gone. She was ready.

He shook

his head. “No, but do you see

the beautiful angel at my side?

The little girl nodded her head to his question.

“Her

name is Mercy, and she’s an angel. She will take you where you need

to go. Are you ready?”

“My name is Mina … and yes. I’m ready for the next adventure. Thank you. I

don’t hurt anymore. What is your name?”

“My name

is Caj. Harmony and love be with you, little Mina.” He gave her a

soft smile.

Just when he was

about to stand, Mina raised her hand and stroked her fingers over

the scar covering his left eye. “Thank you, Caj.”

“You’re

very welcome. Go with peace, Mina.”

Mercy

moved over to his side and held her hand out to

Mina. The girl gripped

Mercy’s hand, and then a glow covered them both. Mercy gently

coaxed Mina’s spirit out and then they were gone.

Caj gave

one last look at the others in the

room who had no clue what had happened in truth, but they would

believe what they’d done had worked. He shook his head. Humans

truly had no clue how the world or the spiritual realm worked. They

were allowed to believe their reality because the truth would be

too hard for them to handle, and it wasn’t his place to

tell.

Caj already missed

Mercy, but she was in a place where he couldn’t go or ever hope to

be a part of.