Chapter 6
GAGE
Isat in my car outside Hale & Honey for a full ten minutes.
My fingers drummed against the steering wheel, each tap loud in the silence of the cabin.
It’d been a week since I was here, and it grew increasingly more difficult to stay away with each passing day.
When Susan asked me this morning if I’d apologized to Tessa’s employee for my bad behavior yet, I decided to finally man up and come here.
Except every time I thought about what I planned to say, the words were nowhere near enough for the kind of asshole I’d been. And not only because the only woman I’d ever loved had witnessed my bad behavior.
I tried to convince myself this wasn’t about Tessa. That I owed the girl a sincere apology, and it was the right thing to do. But there was no denying the situation had been even more fucked up because she’d been there.
With a muttered curse, I shoved the car door open and stepped onto the sidewalk.
I barely had time to shut it before Jace walked out of the bakery, laughing at something.
Tessa was behind him in the doorway, smiling in an achingly familiar way.
I had to wrangle back the same jealousy I’d been denying for the past week.
Her smile vanished the second she saw me. Jace turned toward me, sizing me up like he was deciding whether or not to throw the punch he’d threatened me with a week ago.
He only looked away when Tessa tugged on his shirtsleeve.
“Want me to stick around?” The protective edge in his voice pissed me off, and I had to remind myself that I didn’t have any claim over Tessa anymore.
I braced for her answer, but she surprised me by shaking her head. “No. I’m fine.”
Jace hesitated, clearly unconvinced, but he finally nodded and headed next door to his shop. He kept his gaze on me the whole damn time, making sure I knew he’d be nearby if she needed anything.
The fact that I’d given him reason to be worried made me want to throw something through a window. Preferably his. But losing my temper would only prove him right and make Tessa even angrier with me. Instead, I turned my focus back on her.
Tessa used to be an open book, but her expression was unreadable when she asked, “What do you want, Gage?”
“I came to apologize to your employee.” It wasn’t all I wanted to say, but it was the only acceptable excuse I had to stand here.
Tessa studied me for a moment, still giving nothing away until she finally stepped back from the doorway. “Fine. Come in. Jenny’s just finishing up her shift.”
Jenny stood behind the counter, and she dropped her pen when she looked up and saw me.
“Oh, um. Hi.” Her gaze darted toward Tessa like she wasn’t sure what she should do.
Feeling even worse, I lifted my hands in surrender. “I’m not here to cause trouble. I owe you an apology.”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t say anything.
“I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did last week. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”
Jenny blinked at me, clearly thrown. Then she gave a shy smile. “Thank you.”
Her easy acceptance made me more ashamed of my behavior. This girl was too nice to have put up with the bullshit I’d put her through.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bills I’d gotten from the bank on my way here, glad that I’d pulled out more than I initially planned. “I’d like to make up for it, in some small way.”
Her eyes widened, flicking immediately to Tessa.
Tessa shrugged. “Go ahead. Consider it an asshole tax.”
I huffed out a breath, but I couldn’t argue with the description. I’d unfortunately earned it.
Jenny laughed softly and took the cash from my outstretched hand before ducking in back, leaving the two of us alone.
I cleared my throat. “Thank you for not calling the cops.”
“I wasn’t the one who did it last time.” Her gaze didn’t soften. “But I probably should have.”
Her response was in stark contrast to when she trusted me without hesitation. “Tessa—”
“No.” She shook her head. “We don’t have anything left to say.”
Years ago, she would’ve met me halfway before I even asked. Now she looked at me like she regretted ever letting me close. It’d been three years, but I felt the loss of her like a physical ache.
“We used to talk.”
Her eyes flickered, but she masked the reaction too quickly for me to figure out what it had been. “That was three years ago. I have no interest in going back there.”
Standing here and seeing her walls up like this hurt more than I’d expected. I knew I’d earned her anger last week, but a part of me hoped she might drop her guard a little when I wasn’t acting like an asshole.
I probably should’ve walked away. But something about the rigid way she held herself was so different from how she used to melt against me that it broke whatever restraint I had left.
“I miss you.”
The slight hitch in her breath was enough of a reaction for me to keep going.
“My marriage was hell, and the divorce was worse. I haven’t had a single happy day since we ended.” I dragged a hand over my beard, unable to look away from her. “And I never stopped thinking about you.”
I hadn’t planned to open up to her like this, but the truth slipped free before I could hold it back.
For a moment, Tessa’s eyes softened, and I hoped that I’d done the right thing. She even took a step toward me before she caught herself and shut it all down.
Her expression iced over so quickly that I wondered if I’d imagined her initial reaction.
The wall she’d built to protect herself was back up, even stronger than before.
“Your wants and needs are not my problem anymore. I’m not your girlfriend.
Or even your ex-wife. That would be the woman you married while you were still with me.
Absolutely nothing is tying us together. ”
Everything she said was true, but the accusation in her tone confused me. Although I had agreed to the engagement to Vanessa while Tessa was my girlfriend, I wasn’t the one who’d decided to end our relationship so abruptly.
“Only because you walked away from me. Why didn’t you fight for us?”
Tessa’s reaction to my question wasn’t what I expected. She stared at me as though I’d just said the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. Shock flickered across her face first, followed by hurt before fury swallowed both emotions.
“What in the heck are you talking about?” she snapped, her voice shaking. “You didn’t give me the chance to walk away when you erased me from your life.”
My head jerked back. The floor might as well have shifted beneath me. All I could do was stare at her, stunned because I had no fucking clue what she meant.