Chapter 9
TESSA
After locking the door, I held myself together until Gage’s car disappeared down the street. Only then did I look down at the scarf in my hands.
My fingers trembled so badly I almost dropped it. I never thought I’d have this part of my mom back again. I couldn’t believe he’d kept it for so long.
I pressed the cashmere to my face, breathing in a faint hint of lavender that shouldn’t have still been there. Fabric didn’t hold scents for that long, but grief could be tricky.
I was halfway to my office when I couldn’t hold my sob back any longer. Dropping to my knees right there in the hallway, I clutched my mom’s scarf like it was the only thing holding me together while I cried.
Hot tears soaked into the soft material as I let out everything I’d been holding inside. My tears weren’t just from the relief of getting this treasured memento back. The fabric now carried two ghosts—the mother who I’d lost forever and the man who I’d spent three years trying to forget.
I cried until my side hurt, and nothing was left inside me except exhaustion. As grateful as I was to have the scarf back, his gesture ripped open every crack I’d tried to bury under layers of buttercream for the past three years.
My mom would’ve known exactly what to say to make me feel better, and it hurt so much that I couldn't call her. So I did the only thing I could.
On shaky legs, I pulled out my phone and called my dad as I walked into my office.
He answered on the second ring. “Hey, sweetheart. How’re you doing?”
Just hearing his voice made my eyes burn all over again.
“Hi, Dad,” I managed.
He might’ve been twelve hundred miles away, but there was no missing how my voice cracked. “What’s wrong?”
I dropped onto my chair. “I’m okay. I just had something unexpected happen tonight.”
“Tell me.” I’d heard that tone plenty of times growing up, and it left no room for evasion.
I drew in a shaky breath. “Remember that cashmere scarf of Mom’s?”
“The one that rat bastard never returned to you?”
“Yeah.” I winced as I realized this conversation was going to be tougher than I expected. We hadn’t talked about Gage in a couple of years, so I hadn’t really thought about how his anger had probably not disappeared during that time. “He brought it back to me tonight.”
His breath caught. “Oh, honey.”
“I know I’m imagining it, but I could almost swear it still smells like her.” I buried my face in the cashmere again for another whiff.
“If it brings her closer to you, that’s real enough.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“I hate that you had to see him, but I’m glad you finally have it back. Your mom loved that scarf. She’d be happy you’re holding it again.”
A tear slid down my cheek, and neither of us spoke for a moment.
I could hear waves in the background and idly wondered what the weather was like in Florida.
He’d moved five years ago after losing Mom because he couldn’t stand being surrounded by memories.
I’d almost gone with him, but I’d just started a new job.
Only a few months later, I met Gage and quickly started to fall for him.
Dad cleared his throat. “Are you alone?”
“Yeah, I’m at the bakery, and everyone else has left for the day.”
“Do you want company?”
I had no doubt he’d hop on a plane if I said I needed him, just like he’d done when I fell apart three years ago. “I’m okay. I just needed to hear your voice.”
“You can call me anytime,” he reminded me. “Day or night. You know that.”
“I do.”
“Was that the only reason he was there?”
I froze at his question, unsure how much I wanted to share. He couldn’t do anything about what I’d learned, and I didn’t want to worry him needlessly. Besides, I doubted anything much was going to change. Gage already gave me the only thing I needed from him tonight.
Although my ex might’ve had ulterior motives for coming, he hadn’t shared them with me. So I was honest when I answered, “Yes.”
“Good. I just want you to be happy, Tess. Whoever that’s with…or without.”
My fingers tightened around the scarf. “I’m good, Dad. Really.”
“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.”
Another tear slipped down my cheek. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Anytime.”
“I should finish closing up. Love you.”
“I love you too.”
When the call ended, I didn’t feel quite so alone. But my dad’s words about being happy struck a chord in me. As much as I cared about Jace, I didn’t see a future with him beyond friendship. And holding on to something half right suddenly felt worse than letting go.
By the time I washed my face and finished my closing routine, the sun was setting. Once I steadied my breathing, I locked up and walked next door to Jace’s shop.
The bell above the door chimed softly as I stepped inside. Jace looked up from tuning a guitar behind the counter, and his whole face lit up. But the instant he registered my expression, his smile faltered. Setting the guitar aside, he asked, “Everything okay?”
I answered his question with one of my own. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” He brushed his palms on his jeans, bracing himself.
I crossed the room, buying myself a few more seconds before saying something I knew would hurt him. Then I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. “You deserve a woman who doesn’t hold back. Someone who can give you all of themselves.”
His jaw tightened, but he didn’t interrupt.
“And I care about you too much to pretend I can do that.”
Disappointment, hurt, and something heavier than either of us wanted to name shone in his eyes, but all he did was let out a resigned sigh. “Yeah. I figured this was coming.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You’ve been nothing but good to me.”
Jace gave me a sad smile. “I knew you weren’t over him, Tessa. I just hoped you’d eventually be, and then you’d be ready for more with me.”
My heart twisted because I hated that he wanted more while I kept giving him only pieces of myself.
“Jace,” I murmured, reaching for him on instinct.
He lifted a hand to stop me. “It’s okay. Really. I want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me.”
“I want the same for you.”
He’d make someone such a great boyfriend. Just not me.
“I’d still like to be your friend,” he added. “If that’s something you want.”
The ache in my chest intensified. “I really do.”
He tried smiling again, but the warmth didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Then we’ll figure it out. Just maybe give me a little time.”
“Of course.”
I left his shop feeling both relieved and guilty. Ending things had been the right choice, but it hadn’t been an easy one.
Needing to be alone, I headed home. The apartment was dark when I walked inside, but I didn’t bother turning on the lights. I just toed off my shoes, set my keys on the kitchen counter, and curled up on the couch with my mom’s scarf in my lap.
At least the crying was done. For now, anyway. And for the first time since Gage showed up at the bakery door this evening, I felt something ease inside me.
I wasn’t at peace, but I had a little more clarity.
I’d been running from the truth for three years. Pretending Gage was nothing more than the man who broke me. That the heartbreak had cauterized every part of me that used to belong to him.
But when I closed my eyes, I saw how unguarded he’d been when he handed me the scarf. I’d never seen him be so open back then.
And for the first time since I found out that he was engaged to Vanessa, thinking about him didn’t ignite only anger. Even if he’d messed up in ways I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive, I finally knew he hadn’t meant to end us, let alone erase me from his life.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached for my phone on the coffee table. My thumb hovered over the screen before I pulled our text messages and typed.
Me
Thank you for bringing the scarf back.
I stared at the message long enough for doubt to crawl in. Then I pressed send before I could talk myself out of it. It didn’t take long for the Read status to appear beneath it.
I wasn’t ready to forgive Gage or let him back in, but I was happier than I should’ve been that he’d taken the time to find my real number and unblock me on his phone.