Chapter 16
Sixteen
Emma
It’s still so weird for me when my mobile phone rings.
Not that it happens often—I haven’t gone out and made friends.
It’s a relief when Caleb’s name comes up on the screen.
He was so patient and kind when he found out about Noah, but I haven’t heard from him since. I really hope we continue that way.
Noah saw him yesterday—he told me all about it last night. I’ve never seen my eldest son so excited and happy.
My heart races as I pick up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Emma, it’s Caleb.”
“I know.”
He’s silent for a moment. “I just wanted you to know that I’ve told my family about Noah.”
My throat tightens. “How did that go?”
“They all want to meet him. Chloe’s invited your family to a barbecue next weekend.”
I catch my breath. That’s a big step.
“But if it’s okay with you, I’d like to meet your kids before then. I know you said to give you some time, but I also think they should have another friendly face if you decide to go.”
“I’d like that.”
And I would. Noah’s champing at the bit for his siblings to meet Caleb. And they’re all just as eager. Caleb’s said he wants to spend time with me, but I want all my children to be comfortable with him.
“So, when do you want to do this? I still have a few things to do around your house, but nothing too big. Maybe I can just hang out after I’ve finished tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow? That’s so soon.”
My heart leaps. This all feels so sudden and yet something I’ve been waiting half my life for.
“I know. And we can leave it a few more days if you want. I just thought—”
“You’re anxious to meet them.”
“I am.”
I swallow hard. “Tomorrow’s fine. Noah’s talked you up anyway, and they’re all looking forward to it.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you.”
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “It’s okay. I have tonight to give them the head’s up and if they’re not ready, I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
“That sounds fair.”
After I’ve told them, I almost wish I hadn’t.
From the excited chatter and bouncing around the living room, anyone would think it was Christmas.
“Noah’s Dad is going to be here? Tomorrow?” Kiera asks.
“That’s right.”
“He wants to meet us?”
I lick my lips. “Well. We’ve all been invited to a barbecue at his sister’s house. That’s Noah’s aunt.”
“Does she have kids?” Jason asks.
“She does. She has twin boys who are nineteen and two little girls.”
“How old are they?” His eyes are big.
“I’m not sure, but they’re younger than you.”
“Oh.” His face falls.
“But we’ll find out when we get there. If you want to go.”
“Duh,” Kiera says.
“You really want to meet him?”
She nods. “He’s Noah’s Dad. He’s family.”
My heart.
For the millionth time, I wish my children had a normal upbringing. Despite Malcolm’s resentment, Noah was surrounded by other children at first. Bailey, Kiera, and Jason missed out on that, even if I was glad we left the church.
“Well, he’ll be here tomorrow when you get home from school. I’ve told him about you, but you’ll be able to ask him anything you like.”
By the time the excitement dies and they’re all in bed, I’m wiped.
This whole thing is running away on me, and it’s mentally exhausting.
But I’m not sure I’d have it any other way.
“So, there are just the two windows left to be done. They need new putty to fill those gaps and then you won’t get the drafts through them. I’ve got some in the van so I can get it done today if you want?”
We’ve been through the list. Caleb’s ticked everything off except for one small job.
I’m going to miss his presence during the day.
But I knew this wouldn’t last forever.
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it today. It’s not urgent. Just fit it in when you have time.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Are you okay? I thought you’d be glad to get me out of your hair.”
“We need to talk.”
The words hang expectantly over us.
I wring my hands. “It’s just … I want to talk to you about my children before you meet them. So you know exactly what you’re walking into.”
He smiles. “That sounds great. I can come back tomorrow to finish the windows. This is far more important.”
“I’ll make some coffee.”
He’s waiting for me in the living room when I’m done, and I place the coffee mugs on the table. This’ll be where he meets my family, but I want him prepared.
Nerves are eating me alive, and maybe this isn’t necessary, but it’s important to me.
“Where do I start?” I chew my bottom lip. “Bailey’s the eldest of the other three. She’s a lot like me. Kiera’s two years younger, a bit more reserved and way more cynical. And then Jason’s seven. He’s the one I worry about the most.”
Caleb frowns. “Why?”
“His father was sick for half his life, and even worse than he was before he had his heart attack. He can’t remember a time when he was a good father like the girls can.”
His Adam’s apple bobs. “Is he okay?”
“He will be. I’ve approached the school about him seeing their counsellor, but there’s a waiting list. But he’s been doing really well there and making friends.”
“Poor little guy.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say that maybe he also needs a good father figure, but I can’t dump that on Caleb just as he’s found out about Noah as well. I have no expectations on him as far as that’s concerned.
“It’s important to me that they all feel comfortable with me. Especially when I hope their mother wants me to stick around.”
I can’t help it—I smile and his eyes light up.
“Is that a good sign?” he asks.
“I … I’m not going to lie. I’m struggling with all of this. It’s happening so fast.”
He holds up his palms. “We don’t have to do this today. I can get Chloe to postpone the barbecue. I don’t want you to feel rushed.”
“Oh, believe me”—I laugh—“my children are as keen to meet your family as your family is to meet them. It’s like a runaway train and I’m just along for the ride.”
His eyebrows rise.
“I honestly think that if I decided to stay home with the others and Noah went with you, they’d find a way to sneak along with him. I’m not even part of the equation.”
Caleb chuckles.
“They love that their brother is bringing them more family. It’s what they always wanted. We’ve been alone for so long, and the thought of having cousins and grandparents is …” I slam my hand over my mouth. “I didn’t mean it to sound that way. They know you’re Noah’s family and not theirs.”
Caleb shakes his head. “Don’t. It’s all good. My parents and Chloe cannot wait to meet everyone. Chloe’s dying to see you again.”
“She remembers me?”
“She does. Or rather she remembers what a grumpy arsehole I was after you left.”
I gulp. “I’m so sorry.”
He gives my knee a gentle squeeze. “Don’t be. What’s in the past is in the past. We’re moving forward now. She’ll be a good resource for you too. She’s been home long enough to know this place like the back of her hand. If you ever need to find anything, just ask her.”
“I’d like that.”
Chloe was five years younger than Caleb and our paths rarely crossed. But I remember the bubbly blonde with fondness, and I’m looking forward to seeing her again.
Her boys are older than my girls, but it’d be nice if they’d all become friends too.
“Do you have to do school pickup today? I’ll take you.”
I shake my head. “Noah’s coming home early and picking up Jason on the way. The girls walk home—it’s not far.”
“So, we just have to sit and wait?”
He sighs when I nod, his knee bouncing as if he’s the one full of nerves. Maybe he is. Teenage girls aren’t always easy to impress, I’m not sure if he’ll have to do much at this point.
The bar is pretty low.
Caleb seems determined, but I’m still unsure of his motives.
I’m not looking for a father for my children—I’m so wary of anything new.
But I’m the moth to his flame, and I only hope my battered heart can take it if this doesn’t work out.
“It’s not much longer, Caleb. Be patient.” I laugh.
“I really want to meet the rest of your family.”
“I know. And you will.” My heart leaps at his impatience. “They’ll be here any minute.”
He reaches for my hand. “Thank you for letting me meet them.”
“It seems like a natural progression to me. You’re Noah’s father.”
“I know, but you could’ve drawn a line at that.”
I shrug. “Noah’s getting to meet all his family. If you’re happy for his sisters and brother to be a part of that, then I am too.”
“You too. I want you to be a part of it. All of it.”
My gaze meets his. “Caleb, I don’t know …”
“I do. We never threw those years away, Em. They were stolen from us. We can’t ever get them back, but we can move forward—hopefully together.”
An ache in my chest forms. How many years did I dream of this, even when I had no hope?
Excited chatter comes from the direction of the front door, and it clicks as it opens and my children come flooding through.
It’s like a race into the living room.
Once they’re in the door, they freeze, a bemused Noah standing right behind them.
Jason darts to the couch and I hug him close against me.
“You’re Noah’s Dad.” Bailey’s eyes are like saucers, Kiera’s too.
Jason burrows further into my side.
“I am. My name’s Caleb.”
Bailey flicks her long, blonde hair over her shoulder. “I’m Bailey, and this is Kiera. And that’s Jason.”
Caleb’s gaze flicks to Jason and he smiles. “Hey, mate.”
“Hi,” Jason whispers.
“How was school?”
All it takes is a question. Jason straightens and his face lights up in a smile. “I went up a reading level.”
Caleb’s smile reaches his eyes. “Do you like reading?”
Jason nods enthusiastically. “And now I have SO many books. Mum’s bought me heaps. Do you want to see them? I’ve got a bookcase in my room.”
Caleb chuckles. “I’d love to, but maybe in a little while? I need to spend a little time with all of you.”
I meet Noah’s eyes. He swallows hard, and I don’t have to be a mind reader to know he’s thinking about what he never had with Caleb. There are times when I wish I could turn back the clock, but I’m not sure what I could have done differently.
The girls fire questions at Caleb at a million miles a minute. What does he do for a job? That one makes me laugh because they know he’s done the work around the house. Where does he live? How many siblings does he have?