Chapter Nineteen
When Jay got home, he was greeted by a dog bounding up and down, unbelievably happy to see him. At least he had Nelson, who didn’t know what a screw-up he was. Even through his whiskey haze, he knew his dog would need an evening walk, so he managed to pull himself together enough to get the two of them out and onto the sand. The crisp salt air soon had a sobering effect, and by the time Nelson had tired himself out, Jay had concluded that the only thing left to do with this sorry day was to end it by going to bed. He dragged himself back into the house and up to the bedroom, where he instructed the smart speaker to play some Willie Nelson. The dog crooned as though he, too, had a broken heart, and Jay fell into bed without bothering to take off his clothes.
The next morning, he was awakened by the jarring noise of a phone ringing. He rubbed his temples, wondering where he was and why he felt so awful. As he lifted his head, he realized he was still fully dressed, and had passed out on top of the covers. When he tried to sit up, he also realized he had the mother of all hangovers. Nelson slowly opened one bleary eye and then shut it again. The phone continued to ring and Jay cursed under his breath. Unless it was one of his top clients, he had no intention of answering it. He searched around him and then squinted at the display.
When he groaned, Nelson lifted his head. “It’s Smith Sullivan,” he explained. “We always answer the phone when it’s Smith.”
Nelson gave him a bemused look, then went back to snoozing.
Jay hit the answer button and then Smith’s voice boomed down the phone, all loud and cheerful. “I just want you to know I’m fully in with the role you offered me yesterday.”
Jay rubbed his face. Yesterday’s stubble met his fingers. He had no idea what Smith was talking about so he tried to bluff. “Right. The action film?” Had they been talking about a new action film? He was so hungover he couldn’t remember.
Smith sounded like he was seriously trying to hold back laughter. “Yeah, it’s going to be so good, out there in the grass with the sheep. All those sheep and that lonely old ram. You were inspired when you pitched it to me last night. I had trouble getting to sleep, I was so excited about it.”
Jay was silent as he held up his throbbing head with the phone on one side and a hand on the other. “There were sheep?”
Smith finally burst out laughing. “There were only sheep. Valentina and I are still laughing. Jay, what on earth were you up to last night?”
“I might have had a couple of drinks too many,” he admitted. He scratched his head. Sheep? He wanted to make a movie about sheep ?
Then Smith turned serious. “I know you don’t drink like that as a rule. What’s going on?”
He and Smith went way back—almost as far back as he did with Archer—and right about now he was feeling sorry enough for himself that he needed a friend. He decided to tell at least the core of the truth to Smith Sullivan who, in love as he was with Valentina, was the perfect person to help him in this situation.
He swallowed, unsure of how to put such unfamiliar feelings into words. “I’ve completely fallen for a woman and she will have no part of me.” He paused. It was strange to hear himself speak this way. This was not the kind of thing he’d ever said to anyone before and the words felt odd in his mouth. He needed to lighten the tone. “I’m not a hot A-list actor like you.” This wasn’t the reason Erin had rejected him, but his default defense was always to joke around.
But Smith wasn’t having it. He’d known Jay too long and he clearly knew what a friend in need sounded like. “Have you shown this woman the real you? You play a good game, like I always used to, but look how much Valentina had to get past when she met me. I was an actor, always under the spotlight when she prefers privacy, and what’s more, I was playing the role of her sister’s love interest in a movie. And now I’m about to become a father, because thankfully, Valentina stuck around long enough for me to convince her that we had what it took to make it. You act like you’re all about the big deal, Jay, but you’re a good man underneath. Let her see that.”
Despite how rotten Jay felt, Smith had managed to make him smile. Maybe he’d phoned to make fun of him—and who could blame the man—but there was kindness there too. He was checking up on his agent to make sure he was okay. And Jay appreciated that.
Plus, it was really good advice. “You might be right,” Jay said, inwardly cursing himself for treating Erin like she was just another girl when she was anything but. Smith had his number—Jay had defaulted to his well-worn playboy dealmaker persona, the guy who saw getting a woman into bed as a challenge to be overcome. But he didn’t feel that way about Erin, and she wasn’t that kind of woman, so what had made him act that way? He must have known his behavior would drive her away.
Secretly, in the part of himself where he still felt like a little kid from a roach-infested apartment with no hope, just his own hustle, did he feel he didn’t deserve a decent woman like Erin? Because he’d sure succeeded in blowing the one incredible chance she’d given him.
While he was thinking, Smith said, “And get that script to me about the sheep. I’m already doing some shepherd method acting to get ready for the role.”
Smith was still laughing when he hung up.
Jay shook his head and vowed never to drink again. He needed to get on with the day and somehow make amends with Erin.
He managed to get to his feet, take the dog out, put on some coffee, and take some painkillers. He was about to head upstairs to a long, hot shower and shave off that sad stubble when his phone rang again. Once more he groaned. Archer Davenport. Another person he always picked up for.
As he said hello, Archer sounded in suspiciously high spirits.
“I didn’t offer you a part in a sheep movie, did I?”
Archer was cracking up now. “Smith and I were so excited to be shepherds. And then it got a little confusing with the whole ‘it’s a metaphor’ and then a ram entering the scene, or something like that.”
Well, it was nice someone saw the funny side of it. He was feeling pretty humorless, himself. He was glad that Archer hadn’t video called and seen the sorry state he was in, still wearing his wrinkled suit and barely managing to keep the coffee cup from shaking in his hands.
“Sorry about that,” he said. “The evening got away from me.”
Archer, as Smith had done before him, turned serious. “Smith says you’re in love and that’s why you got plastered. You were drowning your sorrows because she rejected you.”
Jay’s stomach lurched unpleasantly. In love? Those were words he hadn’t admitted to himself. He just couldn’t go there. This was Erin . There was something about her unlike any woman he’d ever known. And now he was on the phone with her brother, who had all but said he’d cut off a vital body part if he so much as touched her.
How had he gotten himself into this mess?
He managed, “I don’t know about love... but she’s not like the others.”
Now Archer sounded just plain curious. “Who is she? Your heart never broke over any of the lingerie models you’ve dated.” Quickly he added, “No offense. But you are a one-track kind of guy.”
Jay winced. Those women were from another lifetime. “She’s not like that. She’s different.”
“That’s great. Who is it? Anyone I know?”
He shuddered. Holy hell—if her brother knew it was Erin, Jay would be in big trouble with his very talented and heavily muscled client and friend. So all he said was, “I screwed things up anyway. She doesn’t want to see me ever again.” Jay looked down at himself. If Erin could see him now, she would run a hundred miles to get away.
Archer was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking things through. After a few beats had passed, he said, “Jay, I hope you make things right with this woman. I never had a chance with Tessa until I told her how I felt. You have to get real and you have to be vulnerable. It’s the only way.”
Jay took a deep breath. Archer’s advice was good, but if he knew that he was giving Jay advice on how to win his own sister... Well, his head hurt too much right now to even contemplate all the complexities of that. All he knew was that dating Erin had always been problematic. Now, it was just plain hopeless.
“Hey, man, you should come over for dinner tonight,” Archer said. “Tessa will cook you something healthy to make up for your heavy night.”
Jay hesitated—it was such a genuine offer of friendship that he was truly touched. But he couldn’t imagine having dinner with Arch and Tessa while hiding the fact that the woman he was crazy about was Arch’s sister, so he thanked him and said he already had plans for the evening.
Jay put down his phone and wondered what on earth to do with himself. Even on a Sunday, he nearly always had work to do, but today he just wasn’t up to it. There were all kinds of things he could do, people he could call, but he didn’t feel up to any of that either. He couldn’t stop thinking about Erin. He wanted to apologize, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t even think he could face it today. He needed a day to lick his wounds, get himself back into fighting shape. Because he felt as though he was in a battle—a battle to win her back, or at least get them on the comfortable, friendly footing they’d enjoyed for so long.
It wasn’t until Jay had showered and shaved and come downstairs feeling a lot more human and ready to take Nelson for a proper walk on the beach. He opened the door and noticed an envelope sitting atop his welcome mat. His name was scrawled on the front in unfamiliar handwriting. He frowned—his first instinct always being to brace for trouble—but when he opened it, he found a note from Clark, thanking him again for the camera and a chance at his dream job in Hollywood. Jay smiled. A hand-delivered note was a nice, personal touch. The kid would go far.
But then he saw something else in the envelope. He pulled out a black and white photograph and his heart began to beat double time.
Clark had developed the shots from the coffee shop. All that fussing and moving of paper cups and changing of poses ever so slightly had really paid off. If a picture was worth a thousand words, this one was about two people who looked really, really good together. Erin was so pretty, beautiful in a way she didn’t even realize, because she’d always been so overshadowed by Mila and her movie-star and rock-star brothers. But quiet, unobtrusive Erin was a knockout. And the way she was looking at him, the way he was looking at her... He could feel again the sensation of her shoulder against his chest, how good she felt nestled in his arms.
As he looked at the photograph, he no longer had any doubt he had to try to get Erin to forgive him. To give him a shot. Because he had never felt this way before and he wasn’t about to let her slip through his fingers.
But how was he going to fix the mess he’d made?
He needed to clear his foggy head, so he donned sunglasses, clipped an ecstatic Nelson to his new leash, and the two of them set off for a glorious long walk on the beach. Not even his hangover could stop him from enjoying the fresh breeze, the sand, the surfers out daring the waves, the couples strolling arm in arm, and of course, the other dog walkers. It was just a happy place, and when he was with Nelson it was impossible for him not to be happy there too. He couldn’t help searching the other dog walkers, wondering if Erin might be among them, even though he knew she wouldn’t be. If she was walking Buzzy, then she would have found a spot so far away and so secret that newcomer Jay would never have known about it.
No, he wasn’t going to be bumping casually into Erin on the beach anytime soon. If he wanted to make it right with her, he was going to have to think of something else. And fast.