Chapter Eighteen
“I think I might be in love with her,” said Samantha as she plopped down on the step of her deck leading out onto the yard.
Shoots of green were finally emerging in the center of the scorched patch of grass.
Her grandmother’s doing, she thought. She could easily imagine her grandmother sitting on a cloud high above, her hands dancing all serpentine-like as she used to do when she was listening to Enya.
Samantha envisioned her conjuring up magic to grow the grass back to its pristine condition.
Matty, who was sitting beside her, leaning back on outstretched hands with his head tilting up to the sun, shook his head. “Impossible. You can’t fall in love with someone after a few weeks.”
“Of course you can,” defended Samantha with a frown. “Love doesn’t have a timeline. It’s not about how long you’ve known someone, but how deeply you connect with them. Our connection is as deep as the Grand Canyon.”
He leered at her out of the corner of his eye. “What you’re feeling now is probably just infatuation, Sam. There’s a difference. A very big difference. You don’t even know her that well. How can you love someone that you don’t even know?”
“Who says I don’t know her?” said Samantha defensively. In her opinion, she knew Angel well and could sum her up like Cliff Notes. “I do know her.”
Over the last three weeks, after the whole paddleboarding incident where Angel had fallen off the board and struggled to get back on, the two of them had spent quite some time together.
“I know that she drinks her coffee black and sugarless, not because she likes the taste of it, but because her grandpa always used to drink it that way. I know that she used to love mangos, like really love them but when she was sixteen, she accidentally ate an overripe one and now she can’t stand to even look at them.
I know that she grew up with parents who loved her so much they forgot they didn’t love each other. ”
Samantha was suddenly out of breath, but she didn’t stop.
She had to show Matty that she knew Angel better than she had ever known any other woman she dated.
“I know that Angel’s hard on herself because she believes it’s the only way to keep pushing forward, to settle for nothing less than the best because of a poster on the wall her dad kept in the garage that said, ‘You’re the best or you’re nothing’.
I know a lot about her. Not just the superficial things like that navy blue is her favorite color, but why it’s her favorite color.
It’s because the color reminds her of the ocean at night, which is so starkly different to the chaos from the fire she faces every day. ”
“That’s not enough.”
Samantha poked Matty hard in the side of the leg just above the knee.
“Ow,” he winced and covered the spot on his leg with his hand. “What was that for?”
“For being such a dick. How can you say it’s not enough? You don’t know anything about my relationship with Angel. And it’s not like you’re the one to talk. You literally go through women like you go through bottles of water.”
“Look, Sam.” He turned to face her. His features were soft and smooth and worried. “I remember when you started dating Veronica. You felt the same way. You were head over heels in love with her almost immediately.”
“It’s not the same, Matty. I promise you, it’s not the same.”
It was the truth. Samantha’s feelings for Angel were different.
It was less intoxicating and more comforting.
It was less about the thrill of the chase and more about the solace of companionship.
It was less about the highs and the lows and more about the steady rhythm of being together.
It was a love that felt deeper, more rooted, like it had the potential to grow and flourish over time, instead of burning bright and fading fast like a shooting star.
It was the type of love that would last a lifetime and not sizzle out over a few short weeks when normalcy and routines and the troubles of life returned once again.
Matty considered her for a moment and then nodded. “You sure? I just don’t want you to get hurt. Believe it or not, I actually care about you. Enough that I want to make sure you’re not running off a cliff after something that isn’t right for you.”
“I’m sure,” she said confidently. Samantha was sure. She couldn’t be more sure of her feelings for Angel. Actually, she had never been so sure about anything in her life.
Glancing back to the patch of burnt grass, she listened out for the low rumble of the ocean in the background and the soft whistle of wind through the trees.
Samantha was planning a camping date for Angel this weekend.
She wanted to do something special, although all of their dates so far had been special.
Two nights ago, Angel had taken Samantha to a lovely, romantic Italian restaurant downtown.
There was even a proposal at a table next to theirs.
Angel had looked mortified when the guy stood up, pushing his chair creakily back and lowering himself onto one knee.
The entire restaurant had clapped, including Angel and Samantha, who hadn’t just witnessed one public proposal together, but two. Wasn’t that a big, bold sign?
“So, can I borrow your tent or not?” asked Samantha. The whole reason she had invited Matty over and baked him a special loaf of banana bread was to soften him up for a favor.
Samantha wanted to take Angel camping this weekend, and even though she was an avid camper, mostly overnight hikes with friends, she owned very little camping equipment.
Not that she was in any place financially to buy everything from camping chairs to sleeping bags to a giant-sized canvas tent.
Camping, although adventurous and fun, was a surprisingly expensive hobby.
“Fine,” he said and stood up. “But only if you promise to take care of my tent. If you break it, you buy it.”
Samantha beamed and would’ve given Matty a big hug if she wasn’t still a bit upset with him for not being supportive about the whole Angel thing. “Promise.”
Matty pushed his weight forward and rose with a grunt.
“When do you plan on going camping? And where? I can give you some recommendations…” he cut himself off and pointed to the square wooden table pushed to one side of the deck.
On it was Samantha’s fire dancing box. The lid was half open and beside it, still wrapped up in its packaging, was a new staff she had ordered last week.
It was a stunning work of art, custom-made to her specifications.
At its core, intricate patterns of swirling burnt orange and bloody red flames were etched into the metal, and at each end of the staff were the custom caps housing the wicks, while its length was perfectly balanced.
She had felt a little like Harry Potter at Ollivander’s Wand Shop when she had first made the order.
Very powerful. One flick and the world would be set on fire.
“What’s that?” asked Matty with a frown. Obviously, he had missed the box when he had walked onto the deck an hour before. Easily understandable since he had been lost in the two thick slices of delicious-smelling banana bread that Samantha had offered him when he had first walked into her house.
“A new fire-dancing staff,” said Samantha delightedly. “I can’t wait to try it out for my new trick—”
“I thought you gave up on fire dancing?” said Matty, interrupting her thoughts. He took an instinctive step back from the table as if he was scared the staff would light up spontaneously.
“It’s called the Blazing Helix,” continued Samantha, taking no note of his remark.
She had dreamt up the trick a few nights ago.
“Basically, I spin my staff in a circular motion above my head while simultaneously twirling it in a helical pattern around my body. It will end up resembling the shape of a helix. Hence the name.”
Matty didn’t look impressed at all. He only brought his hands to his hips while the lines on his forehead deepened into a scowl. “You’re going to set the entire neighborhood on fire, Sam. That trick doesn’t only sound impossible, but very dangerous.”
She crinkled her nose. “I’ve baked your banana bread, probably the best one I’ve ever baked in my entire life, and now you stand here on my porch and criticize not only my feelings for Angel but also my favorite hobby.
Seriously, Matty. I know you said you cared about me, but goodness, if this is what caring looks like, I’d hate to know how you love someone. ”
His scowl disappeared, and a smile took its place. Matty chuckled and walked toward Samantha to kiss her on the cheek. “Thank you for my banana bread. I’ll be sure to have the other half of it with tons of butter.”
“Good,” she huffed.
“And you can borrow whatever camping stuff you need. Come over tomorrow morning and take your pick.”
“Thank you,” said Samantha tersely, not yet relenting. She didn’t want him to think she’d forgiven him—although she already had—so quickly, in case he took the offer back.
Matty was just about to head through the sliding door and into the house when he stopped and turned back to her.
“I’m happy for you, Sam. Really. If you think you love her, then tell her.
The one thing you shouldn’t do is keep it a secret.
Things change too quickly for you to keep something that big and significant all to yourself. ”
Profound words from a man whose emotional level was that of a shallow kiddie’s pool. But then again, Matty never ceased to amaze Samantha. Somewhere deep down was a genius with an unexpected well of empathy and understanding.
“Thanks, Matty. I appreciate it.”
He gave a smile and a nod and headed inside.
Samantha waited until both Matty and the plastic container with the other half of the banana bread had left her house before she headed back out to the deck.
The Blazing Helix would be the biggest trick she had ever done—if she got it right, of course.
Samantha suddenly wondered what Angel would think about it.
The last time she had participated in the wonderful art that was fire dancing, Angel had watched from a distance.
And when she had scolded Samantha afterward, there had been a hint of wonder in Angel’s eyes, a subtle look of amazement.
It wasn’t so much the hobby that Angel disliked, but the danger it posed.
She’d show her that it was safe. Samantha would dedicate the trick to Angel.
A unique gift of sorts. And she wasn’t going to mess things up this time by losing focus and dropping the staff to the ground.
Just like she wasn’t going to mess things up with Angel.
Matty was right. She had to tell her how she felt, and this weekend was the perfect opportunity.
Tearing open the package, Samantha lifted up the custom-made staff and swung it around experimentally, testing its weight and balance. It was like getting acquainted with a new dance partner. First, she had to get to know it, and the best way to do that was to practice—without fire, for now.
“Alright you, let’s see what you’ve got,” she muttered softly, rolling her shoulders in preparation as she kicked off her flip-flops and walked down to the lawn.
Despite the crunch of the charred grass, it wasn’t at all uncomfortable under her feet, and with a flick of her wrist, Samantha sent the staff spinning through the air.