Chapter 23 Patience
GUNS N’ ROSES
Andrew:
You really just dropped a whole ass sex contract into my inbox like it was a newsletter
No “sleep good, baby?” Just boom. Sex terms
That hug got to you, huh?
You asked for the option. Now you got it.
Read it. Make a call. In or out.
Should I be concerned?
I’d be concerned if you weren’t concerned.
Now stop texting me and go read it
Oh I’m reading it
Had to stop at: Andrew Harding, (hereafter referred to as “The Boy”)
I choked on my coffee
So… you don’t like being choked?
Choked. Ha. Glad you said that cus there’s an attached limit checklist here
you already filled out your limits…
Figured I'd save you the surprise.
Let me get this straight
Whoever signs next just inherits whatever the last guy did wrong?
One guy fucks it up and now the whole category dies?
Box crossed out. Never again
Correct.
I’m not building relationships or connections with Boys.
It’s a system with one goal in mind.
11:28 AM
Giving head is a hard limit for you?
Not a soft limit or a rare occasion clause
It’s a hard no?
I’d rather tongue a subway pole.
Lmao damn tell me how u really feel
11:32 AM
“Penetrative sex is not permitted, except in cases where Baby deems it necessary.”
No head. No intercourse…
Neither do a damn thing for me.
3:39 PM
What do you mean it doesn’t please you?
I’m gonna try to explain in a way that doesn’t make me a total hypocrite. Makes me feel used. Just a body to get the Boy off.
I don’t get off on it.
So Idk it’s like I’m nothing after? Hollow?
And I have zero interest in pleasing the Boys.
It’s the point of this. To feed the addiction without ruining shit. With someone who wants the perks bad enough to give up theirs for mine. Someone who agrees to only get me off by my methods, follow my rules, in an place where I have control.
I respect the hell outta you for doing all this for yourself
Fri, Nov 15 at 8:47 AM
Woke up missing you like it's been a year
It’s been 48 hours, Sonny
That ain’t normal
I wanna see you
I wanna see you too.
But you know where I stand.
Lmk when you make a decision.
The fuck. You serious?
You mean I don’t even get to see you again unless I sign this?
Can’t keep going in circles with you
It’s fucking with my head.
Yeah
Alright. I get it
Just hate that we’re here
3:14 PM
Yo
I just read the part about the 4.5 inch dick cap?
A literal fucking limit
Like I’m trying to sneak a Glock in your sheets?
You been walking around with that cap this whole time?
Always been my cap.
...
You realize that was my dick you were holding that night, right?
Handled it like it had your name on it
You asked for the contract. Never thought we’d be here.
And I know what you’re thinking.
“She don’t give head or fuck, why cap it then?”
This is my plan B damage control jic
If for any reason it does go inside me, I don’t wanna feel it.
Plus big dick energy doesn’t always come with big effort.
Guys who got less to work with? Overcompensate in other areas. And they’re more willing to submit.
I hear you
But that don't cover what's hanging between us.
Your rules say 4.5
My dick says otherwise
That makes me your exception or your mistake?
3:47 PM
Fucking hell
I’m sitting at Joe’s, crushing a slice between shifts
Trying to process how I might lose the fucking one
Cause I’m too much dick for her
Stop crying.
You giving up over some inches?
lol. Give up? That’s hilarious
I’d fold it in half, let you play origami with it if that’s what it takes
Sat, Nov 16 at 7:04 PM
Been thinking about you all fucking day
Not even in a dirty way
Well maybe a little
Only a little?
Ouch.
Fine
A lot dirty. Filthy as fuck
The nasty shit
But I also been wondering what's been on your mind all day
Been fucked up today over the fact you can’t hum while holding your nose.
Try it.
Just did
That was horrifying
Why are you like this
10:38 PM
Shouldn’t you be busy at the Clover right now?
I am
Some chick just called me fine as fuck and asked for my number
You gonna come up here and go off, or let her think I’m up for grabs?
Is this your way of trying to see me?
Jealousy your play?
Only if it’s working
Nah. That's weak. I’m good.
But if she doesn’t tip 30%, she can choke on a dick.
Not yours.
You got me smiling like an asshole behind the whiskey shelf
Sunday 11:14 AM
You had three full days.
I know you’re off both jobs today.
Bet you got your gravy going on the stove.
Giants on the flatscreen.
Definitely stringing me along…
Buongiorno, angelo mio
Damn right I got the gravy on the stove
Come over. Wear my jersey. Yell at the refs with me
I’ll feed you
Depends.
Got a signed contract waiting for me?
You think I’m stalling I’m not
I got notes to go over with you
Hit me with it.
Aight. Why they gotta live with you
Convenience. Control. Don’t trust nobody. Territorial.
I don’t let just anyone touch me. And I don’t fuck with cross-contamination. Boys keep their bodies clean and mine if they wanna stay in rotation.
And if he’s under my roof?
I know where he is and who he’s not fucking.
Men turn dumb the second they think they got freedom.
That’s some mob wife shit
Damn right. Loyalty or the river.
So they gotta keep their dicks locked up
But you get to do whatever the fuck you want?
Explain that one to me
If commitment went both ways, that’s called a relationship.
I don’t do relationships.
Framing it as one would give mixed signals.
Boys sign up to serve, not to settle down.
They can either agree, or get the fuck out.
Nah. Def not a relationship
More like a dictatorship
But none of them get in your bed, huh?
No one gets to breathe next to Allison Jane
Which is funny cus I remember a rooftop bet that never got settled
I don’t forget my debts.
One night’s still yours.
Idk. That one-night-only shit fucked me up last time
Don’t think I’m built for one-night-only with you
Don't get why you put that on the table then?
It was a moment thing.
Don’t think too hard about it.
12:16 PM
Okay. Now this one’s got me worried
The name Allison as the safeword?
Not up for discussion.
Non-negotiable.
So hypothetically if I moaned your name into your pussy
You would stop me and not let me finish?
Exactly.
Just call me Baby.
Smart, turning your name into the kill switch
So ‘Baby’ is who you let them touch. Never Allison
Makes it real easy to stay in character
Everything real about you’s off-limits
Even your damn name
Tuesday 11:08 AM
Still waiting, Drew.
Still debating, baby
Wednesday 7:33 AM
The contract says each Boy has to acknowledge you every morning
“Good morning, Baby” or “Hey, Baby.”
Correct.
I refuse to be ignored in my own house.
What if someone says
“Sup, baby”?
Then they’d be punished.
For improper morning etiquette?
Yes.
These punishments. How bad we talking?
Like if someone were to fail to acknowledge your presence properly?
A slap on the wrist? Lock me up? Starvation?
No
No?
You? You don’t get to sleep.
You’re too busy making it up to me.
…
Go on, I’m listening
9:41 PM
Yo
At the Clover and they’re playing Teddy Vale in here
You popped in my head soon as the hook hit
Because he’s my Holy Grail. My soulmate. All his songs are about me.
Huh?
Yeah.
Would throw the entire contract out the door for that man.
Immediately. No second thoughts.
You’re joking
Deadass.
Been obsessed since Wrong Time, Right Dress.
Falsetto made me black out.
Sonny
Babe
I was thinking about you
Now I’m picturing you getting weak over some dude in a bowtie
Weaker than you think.
It was Honey, Don’t Vanish right?
Yeah…
Yeah that’s the song that came on while I was in the Clover bathroom.
Doing… you know.
No I don’t know
I came to it.
Came to what?
The song.
Got me off in record time.
I’m going back to work
His voice.
Back against the bathroom stall.
Eyes closed.
Allison
That was a test. You failed.
You’d never last as a Boy
Baby, I failed at 4.5 and we’re still spinning
Thursday 10:24 AM
You make a decision yet or nah?
No good morning?
You’re really impatient for someone who claims to be in control
I am in control. I just like things done on my time.
You rushing cause you think I’ll say no?
Try dragging it out cus you wanna keep me without signing.
Searching for ways around it.
If you can’t handle it then admit you can’t handle it.
What if I want to make some amendments
You can try, but most likely it’ll be a no.
You sure about that?
Cause don’t act like you don’t want this just as bad as I do
All that talk and still no decision.
Just wait, Jersey.
Next time I ever see you?
You’re on your fucking knees.
Fuckkkk