CHAPTER ELEVEN #4
“Natalia,” I say and take hold of the back of her knees, lift her legs and rest them on my lap.
I pull her closer and use the back of my thumb to wipe away her tears.
“You’re you because of the mistakes you made.
We all make mistakes and without them we wouldn’t be who we are today.
The things we’ve experienced both together and apart are things I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Fuck, there’s so many experiences I know you had that I wish I could change, that I wish I could erase for you.
You know trauma shapes us, but it also makes us stronger, baby.
And you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known.
You inspire me every single day. You keep me going, keep me moving forward.
You motivate me and encourage me to be a better man.
You’re the reason I fight my demons every day, you’re the reason I want to be better, Little Sparrow.
She smiles softly. “I’m sorry I ... I didn’t mean to walk away from you.” She looks down at her hands and twitches.
“Natalia,” I say and hold her shoulders.
“Don’t ever apologize to me. I’m the one who should be apologizing, I didn’t think before speaking.
” I let my hands slide down her shoulder blades and settle on the center of her back.
I hold my girl and look into her pretty eyes.
Her lashes flutter and send me spiraling.
“I know my trauma taints me, Dima. I understand if you decide it’s too much to deal with—if I’m too much to deal with. I know you have your own issues. I don’t want to be a burden.” Her voice breaks as tears pool in her eyes.
“You know how I feel about you, Sparrow. Nothing you could ever do or say could ever make me want to walk away from this. Walking away from you is like drowning a thousand times over, burning in a fire that’s never ending .
.. believe me I tried, but only to protect you from me.
But I could never stay away for long, I could never leave you.
I could never do it, not now ... not knowing you feel the same way I do about us.
I know you’re safer with me than you ever were without me.
I regret every second of not being by your side, every second of not being there to protect you.
We’re in this together—trauma, passion, your crazy, my crazy, our crazy.
Do you understand Natalia? I’ll never ever leave you, no matter what.
I regret ever letting you go. I regret it all.
If I could take back what I did so it meant I never left—I would.
” I thumb away her tears and my Adam’s apple bobs in my throat as I hold back my own waterfall that threatens to spill.
My cock throbs in my jeans as she stares at me and pouts.
Her lips look full as she licks them, and all I can think about is making her mine.
Her beauty makes the Mona Lisa look like street art as she sits before me.
She’s like an angel who’s been sent to save my soul from damnation, and the fucking demon inside me will always embrace every part of her, even if it means corrupting her until the point of no return.
I slide my hands down her spine and back up again until I find her shoulders. Then I run my fingertips along her arms until I reach her hands.
“Give me your wrists.” I say and grab hold of them both with one hand. I unbuckle my belt and take it off. She moves her wrists forward without being asked and I slap my belt firmly against her skin, wrapping it around her wrists and pulling it tight. “You’re mine, Natalia.”
She nods and looks down at her restraints.
“Tell me you’re mine.” I demand.
“I’m yours, Dima,” she replies and licks her lips seductively.
“Do you want me to own you?”
She nods again.
“Fucking say it, Sparrow. Use your words,” I say and wrap my hand around her throat.”
“Own me.” The words tremble from her lips.
“Be a good girl and say it properly.” I squeeze firmly and she shifts.
“Yes, I want you to own me, Dima.” Her breathing quickens and I feel her pulse racing against my fingers. Goosebumps rise across my skin and my cock strains harder against my jeans.
“My beautiful girl.” I lock eyes with her and trace my tongue across her lips.
She responds exactly how I expect her to.
She slips her tongue through her lips to meet mine and we explore every bump, every ridge, every curl of each other.
I control her tongue and force it back into her mouth as I continue to kiss her, I suck hard only stopping to caress and bite her lips.
The sweet taste of copper hits me and I pull away to see her bottom lip bleeding, so I move back in and lick at her wound. I want to experience every taste she has to offer; to fully devour my sweet girl.
I push my tongue into her mouth again so she can share her sweetness.
My hands move around her neck, and I tickle down to the base of her spine until my hands find the bottom of her shirt.
I waste no time tugging it up until it’s no longer a piece of clothing but tatters of cloth on the floor.
My fingers feel every goosebump as they rise and dance along her spine.
Each vertebrae reminds me just how fragile my Little Sparrow truly is.
I know if I wanted to, I could break her with ease so she can’t run.
I could render her dependent on me and force her to be mine forever.
Hold her captive so she can never leave.
But I know I don’t need to do that. I know she would never leave.
Her freewill belongs to me. She’s given herself to me—every ounce of her—over and over again in so many dark and depraved ways that it left her asking if we both need therapy.
Her sweet innocence was stolen, but it was also gifted to me.
My innocence was stolen but also gifted to her.
It was gifted ... to us.
It shaped us. It created us.
It created an unbreakable bond.
We became each other’s twisted firsts.
Twisted nightmares and daydreams.
Each other’s twisted trauma.
And now we’re each other’s fucked up forever.
I push her backward hard onto the bed and remove every last piece of clothing until she’s naked with only my belt securing her wrists.
She’s my little lamb and right now I’m the big bad wolf.
Fuck, Volk. No Dima, No. You’re nothing like him. You love your girl. Show her you love her.
Fuck, what if I fuck it all up? What if I’m too rough?
“Dima.” Her sweet voice calls my name as she looks up at me with her hands above her head where I’m holding them firmly. I didn’t realize I’d pinned her down into this position.
Fuck Dima, focus.
“Sparrow,” I say and lean forward and take turns sucking each of her perfectly rounded nipples.
I take my time and study the way her body responds to each flick, each suck, each trail of my tongue.
Her hands try to move down but I push them back and hold her a little firmer.
“No, Sparrow. Be a good girl and let me take care of you.” I hum against her chest and watch her veins pop with color. Her breathing increases and her nails whiten as she digs them into her palms.
“You’re everything I ever wanted. From the first day I saw you, Natalia Petrova. Even when you didn’t notice me, I noticed you.” I admit.
“I noticed you, Dima.” She pants.
“You’re my daydream,” I say and pepper kisses down her body, covering her stomach. I lick her belly button and continue until I reach her clit.
I stop and shift my legs until I’m standing at the edge of the bed.
My hands find her ankles, and I secure them in my grip, lifting her feet into the air and pulling her body into me until her ass slams against my jeans.
I keep her legs raised and bury my head into her pussy.
I hungrily eat my favorite meal. I don’t go easy, don’t go gentle.
I devour her like a man possessed, a man who hasn’t eaten in days, in weeks.
I fucking need this. I fucking need her.
I want her to feel my tongue on every fold, on every bump, on every ridge. I stiffen my tongue and flick hard and fast against her clit until she moans out. I soften a little and widen my tongue as I lap at her pussy.
“Oh, Dima,” she cries out.
“That’s it my girl. I know your pussy loves me as much as I love you,” I say and tease my fingers inside of her tight little hole.
She arches her back and lifts her hips slightly. I angle my fingers inside her and press my lips against her clit sucking hard while flicking my tongue each time her body responds with a quiver.
“Don’t stop.” She pants.
I grin like a motherfucker as I look at her. Her nipples hard enough to cut glass and her pussy dripping wet.
I feel satisfied that she wants me, that she wants this just as badly as I do. Seeing her pussy soaking wet knowing she’s not even had my cock yet, causes my balls to swell, and I unzip my jeans and pull them down, but I leave my boxers on knowing it’ll tease us both.
I remove my fingers from inside her and use them to circle her clit. I push my tongue inside her tight hole and dip in and out of her. Tasting her pleasure, she’s as sweet as ever, her smell almost sends me over the edge and I break away.
I get back onto the bed and pull her back to the center, flipping her over until she’s on top of me with her ass in my face and her mouth hovering over my boxers.
“Take my cock, Natalia, but don’t you fucking dare remove my boxers.” I command and grab hold of her ass.
Spreading her cheeks apart I slide my tongue from her wet pussy, trace her juices to her ass and eat my second meal of the day as her tight little ass responds to my tongue.
I’m about to slide a finger into her pussy and another into her ass when I feel the heat from her mouth hit my cock as she breathes through the fabric of my boxers. The sensation causes my cock to pulsate hard, and I come a little wetting the material.
“Woah, fuck, Sparrow, you’re going to make me come,” I moan out and slap her ass.
She looks back at me with a wicked grin.