Chapter 55
ANDERSON
My wife has been in labor for hours by the time I reach my car in the hospital parking lot.
When I fell asleep by Auggie’s bed, I didn’t realize how much time passed before I woke up to the police officers telling us what happened, and I wasn’t there when she needed me.
This isn’t what was supposed to happen.
We were supposed to go to the hospital together, share every moment of our daughter’s birth. Commit it all to memory to revisit for the rest of our lives.
I wasn’t supposed to be peeling out of a parking lot and speeding to the highway.
I realized my phone was dead when I got to the car, and it felt like years before I had enough charge to make a call. When the damn thing finally turns on, I have missed calls and texts from Georgie, Rumi, Emerson, and Jack, but I bypass all of them to try to call Ava
Her phone goes to voicemail. And I try again and again before my brain, sleep-deprived and panicked, catches up to my body.
If Ava is in labor, I’m sure Georgie is either with her or Rumi and Emerson. And I don’t know a world where Rumi and Emerson wouldn’t be within feet of Ava if she’s in labor—especially if I’m not there.
My thoughts land on Jack, who wouldn’t let any of the girls out of his sight.
The stop light just before the highway goes from green to yellow, causing me to slam on my brakes. When I’m finally stopped, my leg bouncing with anticipation, waiting for the light to turn, I tap Jack’s contact.
“Anderson,” Jack barks into the phone as I merge onto the highway. “Where the hell are you?” His voice comes out harsh and I have to fight the urge to flinch.
“My hometown. My little brother is in the hospital. Is Ava okay?” My voice is shaky, and it takes everything in me not to press the gas pedal until it touches the floor.
Jack sighs harshly. “She will be. Rumi says she’ll feel better after the epidural.”
“She’s getting an epidural? Now?!” I run a hand through my hair. I know Ava’s birth plan like the back of my hand. She explicitly said no epidural, even making me promise not to offer it to her—she wanted to be the one to ask for it if she felt she needed it.
“Yeah, I’ve never had a contraction before, but I can’t imagine they’re too pleasant to have for hours on end,” Jack deadpans, and my stomach knots.
I hate that Ava is in so much pain—or was. Jack is making it sound like she’s doing okay now. Or that she will be.
I was supposed to be there—she wasn’t supposed to do this alone.
“How did she get to the hospital? Don’t tell me she drove herself.” I weave through a few cars, picking up speed in the left lane and praying to the universe that there’s no cop on duty on this stretch of the highway.
Jack explains how Georgie called Rumi early this morning when Ava’s water broke, and that I wasn’t home. Rumi and Jack called Sadie to watch Evee, and then picked up Ava and Georgie before going to the hospital. Emerson met them there.
“She said that you were back in your hometown, but no one could get a hold of you. I finally started calling the chief, but it was hours before he finally picked up this last time,” Jack explains.
I shake my head, my knuckles turning white with how hard I grip the steering wheel. “He was making sure my mom got home okay and got some sleep after my brother got out of his second surgery.”
“What happened to your brother?” Jack asks.
“He was shot. It’s a long story, one I can’t think about right now. Can I talk to Ava?”
Jack grunts his response before I feel shuffling on the other end, my body feeling restless in the driver’s seat of my car as I wait to hear Ava’s voice.
“The anesthesiologist isn’t done yet, but Rumi will have her call you when he’s done.”
I slam my palm against the steering wheel, my jaw ticking with how tightly I’m trying to hold on to my composure.
An hour goes by before my phone rings, and I answer on the first ring. “Hello?”
“Hi.”
The relief I feel at the sound of her voice is both euphoric and excruciating.
“I’m sorry, love.” Tears stream down my face, making it hard to see the road in front of me. “I’m so sorry.”
“Where are you?” she asks, and she sounds tired, like she can’t even muster up the anger she probably has toward me. “How’s Auggie?”
“He’s fine. Don’t worry about him right now,” I say, trying to keep my voice light, even with how heavy I feel. I’m about twenty minutes away from the hospital, but I won’t find any semblance of relief until I have my wife in my arms. “Are you okay?”
Ava sighs. “I’m much better. Labor is no joke,” she says, and I feel my lips curve.
“Jack said you got the epidural.”
“I needed to. The stuff we practiced wasn’t working, but I’m feeling much better now. The doctor came in a little bit ago, and I’m still only three centimeters dilated, so it’ll still be a little while before it’s time to push.”
My lungs fill with air for the first time since my uncle called me last night. I still feel absolutely horrible that I missed as much of Ava’s labor that I did, but at least I have some time before the baby comes.
I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I missed my daughter’s birth.
Thank fuck I can still make it.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can, love. I promise,” I say, my voice cracking.
“I know.”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I love you.”
“I love you t—”
Beeping begins on the other line, the kind that immediately raises your heart rate and goes straight to your nervous system. “Ava? Ava, are you there?”
“Yeah, I’m here,” she says over the beeping, but there are other voices, and I can practically hear the chaos ensuing in the room.
“Ava!” I slow down, pulling over on the side of the highway. It’s not safe for me to keep driving, not when I can hear all the beeping and muffled voices I can’t make out over the shuffling.
“Ava, please!” I yell into my car speakers, slamming my car into park.
More shuffling and then she finally says, “Something’s wrong.”
And then the line goes dead.