6. Caroline Front-Runner
caroline: front-runner
“OH, IT’S THE BIG GAME!” Emerson trilled like a high school girl. I had been with her only a year in Peachtree Bluff, but by the time she was in high school, I came back and forth to visit quite a bit.
I remembered it like it was yesterday. Something about those teenage years just really sinks in.
Maybe it’s that everything is fresh and new and alive that makes us remember them so well—even when you’re sulking about having to move away from New York City, aka the true love of my life.
Maybe that was why, in my moment of weakness two years ago, when my married life was falling apart and everything felt so fraught, the idea of Wes had been appealing.
We’d had a juicy high school romance for like six solid months, which was an eternity in high school years.
He was fun and a great kisser and a supercute football player, and, as much as I was ready to go back home, he had really helped me pass the time.
Now, more than two decades later, I knew I should text him, tell him I was in Peachtree.
That was the deal we had made, the way this relationship had been running the past couple of years.
But I also knew he wanted more from me; he wanted serious.
And I, decidedly, did not, which I had told him many times over.
I just wasn’t sure he was getting the message.
The fact that I didn’t want to call him was the sign I needed. I had to have a talk with Wes. I had to end things clearly and concisely, so I didn’t keep leading him on. But he didn’t know I was here yet, so maybe I could put it off a few more days.
“I’m so sorry I pulled you off set and dumped you in a plane like that,” I said.
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry,” Sloane said, entering the room.
Now I felt bad because I certainly didn’t want Sloane to feel bad. Just because it was a false alarm didn’t mean it was her fault. “No,” I countered. “You’ve been through a lot this year, and you never asked us to come.”
“We want to be here for you, Sloane,” Emerson said. “No matter what. Plus, I’m glad we got to come tie up some wedding loose ends anyway. Can you believe it’s so close?”
“I’m just glad you chose the Peachtree Historic Site for the wedding,” I said.
The historic site was a beautiful collection of several pre-revolutionary homes, the old courthouse and jail, the town’s original apothecary surrounding a grassy town square of sorts, situated in the center of downtown.
There was nothing more quintessentially Peachtree, if you asked me.
“It’s perfect for tents so we don’t have to worry about rain, and it’s far enough from the water that we don’t have to worry about wind. ”
“Yes. As you’ve mentioned about a thousand times,” Emerson said, sharing a knowing glance with Sloane.
Sure. Fine. That was fine. They could make fun of my oldest-sister energy all they wanted, but I kept their lives in order and, somewhere deep down, they knew it.
“Do you know what I was thinking?” Sloane asked.
“What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking Emerson hasn’t had a bachelorette party yet, and we need to remedy that.”
Emerson shook her head. “I’ve been with Kyle for years, we have a child, plus, I already had a bachelorette party the last time I was engaged. I told my bridesmaids no. I’m telling you no, too.”
“Okay, then,” Sloane said. “How about a three-of-us cocktail right now? Or, you know, mocktail for some of us.”
“That sounds perfect! Do you have little veils for us to wear?” Emerson joked.
I smiled. “I’m going to go up and tell Vivi really quickly.”
“She can come with us if she wants,” Emerson said.
“She’s really too young to drink, don’t you think?” Sloane asked. It was a bad joke.
I walked up the steps, already making lists in my head of what was left to be done before the wedding.
The door to Vivi’s bedroom was closed. I was about to knock when I heard her say, “I know, but, I mean, we have been dating almost two years.”
I should have walked away, but the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I just couldn’t.
I felt frozen in place. That sentence could have meant almost anything, right?
Why did I jump to conclusions? But, if I was honest with myself, I knew I needed to have a conversation with my daughter about her relationship with this particular boy and what those next steps looked like.
I didn’t shy away from difficult conversations.
But she was my baby. And it was hard. The mother part of me thought she was entirely too young for sex to even be a part of her thought process.
The part of me who had been a sixteen-year-old and had had sixteen-year-old friends and sisters was actually kind of relieved we’d made it this far. I shouldn’t have, but I leaned in closer.
“No, I know. But, I mean, it isn’t like I don’t want to. I’m just nervous or something. You know how I only like to do things I’m really good at, and it’s hard to be good at anything your first time.”
Now my heart was pounding. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
I suddenly hated Tyler. And Kimmy. She was his sister.
She should have taught him better. And I hated Mom for moving back to Peachtree Bluff from New York in the first place after 9/11 because if she didn’t live in Peachtree, Vivi never would have met Tyler and none of this would be happening.
Even I knew that was dumb. Vivi would have likely been dating someone right now, whether he lived in Peachtree or not.
And this conversation would likely be happening either way.
In fact, if she was in New York and seeing a boy she was dating every day this would have been an inevitability long before now.
Emerson walked down the hall and I put my fingers to my lips.
She shook her head disapprovingly. Even still, she stood beside me, close to the door, too.
From the other side, Vivi laughed, which I did not like.
Not one little bit. “No, I mean, I know it can’t be that hard.
Think about all the idiots we know who have done it.
” She paused. “But, I guess, if I decide not to, do you think he’ll break up with me? ”
Emerson’s eyes widened, and I could feel mine doing the same. She put her hand on the doorknob, and I could tell she was about to barge in, but I stopped her. The last thing I needed was for Vivi to think we were spying on her.
“No, I know. You’re right. He does love me. And I love him, and I guess that’s why I want to do this for him, you know? Even if it isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”
That was ever-so-slightly odd, I would admit.
My daughter was kind and loving, but she was also headstrong and maybe a touch selfish.
What teenager wasn’t? I couldn’t see her having sex with Tyler if it wasn’t her idea of a good time.
As she said, “So, Cars, are you still going to Stephanie’s party this weekend?
” Emerson pulled me away from the door to the stair landing.
“Is she going to have sex with him?” she practically hissed. Her shock shocked me.
“Well, I don’t know. But that’s sort of what it sounded like, didn’t it?”
She nodded. “We have to stop her. You have to talk to her.”
That gave me a great idea. “What if you talk to her?” I was the uncool mom who knew nothing. Emerson was the cool, gorgeous, famous aunt who’d hung the moon. If anyone could get through to Vivi, it would be Emerson. Then again…
“And so what if she asks me how old I was or how long I had dated the guy my first time?” she said.
That was the exact thought I was having.
“I don’t know. Skirt the issue. Lie. Tell her you regret it.”
She half smiled. “For the record, I totally do not. Brian Flannigan was the hottest senior in school. And he worshiped me. It was perfect.”
I crossed my arms, and she backtracked. “Nope. No, he was not. I can tell her I wish I had waited at least until I was out of high school.”
I raised my eyebrow.
“Well, I can’t say college,” she whispered. “I didn’t even go to college.”
I gestured for her to keep going.
“You want me to tell your daughter I wish I had waited until I got married to have sex?”
I nodded. That was exactly what I wanted.
“Caroline, I don’t think she’s going to believe me. And, like, I’m not going to call my daughter a regret.”
I hadn’t thought of that. That would be bad. “Well, maybe it won’t come up. Maybe you can just have a nice talk with her about waiting.”
“I’ll be honest. I had no idea you were so provincial.”
“I’m not provincial. I’m a mother. Wait until you get to this point with Carter and then let me know how it feels.”
She winced. “Don’t even say such a thing.” She paused. “Can we talk about this when we have drinks? In front of Sloane?”
I shook my head. Sloane, Emerson, and I didn’t keep secrets from one another, as a general rule, so why would I keep this one?
It made me realize I wanted people to think of Vivi in a certain way.
That maybe I wanted to think of her in a certain way.
I knew that wasn’t fair. I knew Vivi was her own person who was going to make her own choices, and, in my heart of hearts, I also knew that losing your virginity to a boy you’ve dated for almost two years who absolutely loves you to pieces wasn’t the worst way to go.
In fact, it was a pretty good one. I just wanted her to be older, more responsible, safer, more able to think through the consequences of her actions.
And, for goodness’ sake, I certainly didn’t want her having sex so a boy wouldn’t break up with her.
That was unacceptable in any generation. But wouldn’t Vivi know that?
“I think she’ll freak out,” I said. “Let’s keep it to ourselves for now.”
We walked down the stairs in unison and Sloane, seeing us, said, “Ready?”