7. Emerson Tight End
emerson: tight end
I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHY I was nervous.
I didn’t shy away from hard conversations.
I certainly didn’t mind talking about sex.
But this was my niece. I was there when she was born.
I put bows in her hair and helped her learn to walk and watched Dora the Explorer with her.
I mean, how were we even here? I had procrastinated for a few minutes, going down to the dock with AJ and Taylor, my nine- and seven-year-old nephews.
They were buzzing with excitement about when Preston, Caroline’s five-year-old son, was going to arrive.
Finally, Caroline said, “The game is at seven, and she’s going out with him after and… ”
She didn’t need to finish the sentence. Tonight could be the big night.
Especially if they won. All that pent-up adrenaline, all those happy feelings.
I sighed wistfully. But no, no. Vivi didn’t need to repeat my mistakes.
Although, I didn’t really consider them mistakes.
Well, whatever. I knew Caroline wanted me to half persuade her to move to a nunnery, which I would not do.
But we could at least have a safe-sex talk.
I tapped on her door. “It’s Em,” I said.
“Come in!” she said gleefully.
I opened the door and was nearly knocked out by a wave of perfume.
Vivi was applying sparkly pink lip gloss and puckering in a way that made me uneasy. I could almost see three-year-old Vivi in her tutu putting on my lip gloss like that. Now, she was wearing jeans and a crop top that I knew she and Caroline would fight about.
“Hey,” I said. “Can I talk to you?”
She leaned in toward the mirror, applying more mascara, and said, “Sure. Talk away.”
“You know I would never spy on you,” I started.
She didn’t even look at me, but, instead, applied more blush.
“Hey, could you maybe come sit with me?”
She raised her eyebrows. “So, this is like a serious talk?” She faux-gasped. “Are my parents getting divorced? Oh, wait…”
I smiled, thinking that her parents weren’t actually divorced. Still. Caroline needed to get on that.
She sat cross-legged on her bed, across from me. “Okay. You’d never spy on me. Blah, blah.”
“Right. But I accidentally overheard your phone conversation with Carson earlier.” I paused, hoping I had opened a window.
“Okay,” she said. “And?”
This was odd. Wouldn’t she have feelings about that?
Was I that cool of an aunt that she would have had the same conversation with me?
Now I didn’t know what to say. “I just want you to know that I know you and Tyler have been together for a long time, and I know you want to make him happy. But you don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for just because he wants you to. ”
She nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
“But what you were saying to Carson on the phone? About how you didn’t want him to break up with you if you didn’t—”
She burst out laughing, cutting me off. She fell back on her pillows, holding her stomach. “Emerson! Oh my gosh! We weren’t talking about sex.”
I tried to gauge whether she was lying, but tears were coming out of her eyes, so I assumed she was not. “He wants me to go fishing offshore with him!”
Now I started laughing too. “So, when you said it wasn’t exactly your idea of a good time…”
“The blood and guts and non-cute outfits and waking up at five thirty in the morning. The possible seasickness and tiredness from Dramamine. Not fun. Zero fun.”
I sank back on the bed now too in relief. He wanted her to go fishing. “Ah. But you can see how I thought…”
She nodded. “Yeah. I can see that.” She popped up off the bed. “We need to go. I want to get good seats. My man is the tight end.” She winked at me and added, “You know that’s a football term, right?”
“Haha. I know it’s a football term, but Tyler is the quarterback.”
She raised one eyebrow. “Maybe he’s both.”
“Vivi, stop! Okay. Maybe I overreacted. But it’s not a totally off-the-wall thought to have.
” I was trying to push her to say something else, to open the door for us to have this talk.
And it occurred to me that maybe that ship had already sailed.
She was now in the bathroom, touching up her hair with a curling iron.
It was like going back in time to the dozens of games my sisters and I had gotten ready for in this very bathroom.
I got up, realizing this conversation was over, feeling ever-so-slightly lightheaded.
Lightheaded! Could I be pregnant? Maybe…
I tried not to get too excited. Every time I had the slightest unusual symptom, I was convinced I was pregnant.
Even still, I texted Kyle: I’m lightheaded.
Do you need a snack?
Well, yeah, but I was just thinking… maybe…
My phone rang. It was Kyle.
“Hi, honey. How are you and Carter?”
“We are great,” he said. “Just eating a snack. But I just wanted to remind you that the doctor said—”
“Not to get my hopes up every time I had a weird tingle in my toe. I know. But we weren’t even trying to get pregnant with Carter and bam! I just feel like this shouldn’t be so hard.”
“I know, honey, but whatever happens will be for the best. Don’t worry. We’ll get the fertility test results next week, and then we’ll know more and we can decide next steps. Okay?”
I scrunched my nose. He was so kind and supportive, but he didn’t understand that I just wanted to be pregnant right now.
“Look, Em, we have this whole wedding to get through and all the excitement of that, and, right now, I just can’t wait to be married to you.”
I softened. “Well, I can’t wait to be married to you.”
Vivi appeared and made a gagging noise. “Okay, you two are sickeningly adorable. Can we go now?”
“Alright, love,” I said into the phone. “The Peachtree Panthers are taking the field, and I must go to them. I wish you guys were here.”
“Love you,” he said. “Hope we can catch the next game.”
I hung up and smiled tightly at Vivi, examining her outfit. She looked amazing. Like ten million bucks. Caroline was going to have a cow. “Hey,” I said. “I heard it was going to rain. You might want to get a jacket.”
Lies. But I needed to stall her while I ran down the stairs ahead of her. As predicted, Caroline was waiting for us in the entrance hall, tapping her toe. “Look at this precious picture James just sent of him and Preston.”
The way she said it gave me butterflies, but I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t have time to unpack all of that. “They were talking about fishing, not sex,” I whispered.
Caroline looked confused and then started laughing. “Oh my gosh,” she whispered back. “It can’t be that hard. She loves him so she wants to do this for him.” She paused, laughing again. “She’s going fishing with him.”
I heard Vivi’s footsteps and whispered quickly, “She’s wearing a crop top you won’t approve of, but let it go.” I turned and walked off toward the kitchen so it wouldn’t look like I had been reporting to Caroline.
I walked back in, acting natural. “Are Sloane and Adam meeting us there?”
“I think they’re going to be late,” Caroline said. “Taylor had a soccer game. Adam took him, but Sloane was going to catch the last few minutes.”
“Oh no!” Vivi said. “I would have gone! I never get to go to his soccer games.”
“They are inspiring,” Caroline said. “A clump of kids running up and down the field, often in the wrong direction, sometimes forgetting the ball, sometimes a couple just sitting down and playing with the grass.”
“It isn’t that bad,” I said. “Taylor’s old enough that he’s getting really good.”
“No, Em. You have watched Sloane’s videos of Taylor’s soccer games. You have never actually been to one in real life. I assure you, it’s a different experience.”
Vivi opened the front door and was saying, “You’re so mean, Mom. Hey, when does Gransley get home?”
Caroline looked at me and shrugged. “I have no idea. Since she didn’t even bother to tell me she was leaving, I didn’t bother to text to ask her when she was coming home.”
“Mature,” Vivi said.
“Agreed,” I chimed in as I followed Vivi outside.
“So then I guess you know the answer, Em? If you’re so mature?”
“You’re the one who worries about those sorts of logistics.
I haven’t talked to Mom at all.” I paused to inhale the salt air.
It smelled so good. The sun was beginning to set, the sky turning a deep indigo, a color I didn’t see here much.
Shades of blue, sure. Pinks, often. Oranges and yellows, almost always.
But this was something new, like the stretch of orange and yellow sunlight was being slowly devoured by the indigo sky until it met with a perfectly matched sea.
“Friday night lights!” Vivi exclaimed.
I looked back out over the water, the sun almost blinding. Friday night lights, indeed.