Chapter 4
CHAPTER
FOUR
Dammit. I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep with her head on my chest, our limbs tangled together like a human pretzel. I was supposed to get up, put my clothes back on and go the fuck home. To my own home. Temporary home, but home nonetheless.
I wasn’t supposed to slumber, my head filled with happy dreams, while she snuggled up to me.
I should go.
After pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, I disentangled myself from her embrace and slipped out of the bed. Murmuring something about one of her kids, she rolled over, facing the opposite direction. She didn’t stir as I slid my legs into the tac pants and threw the black t-shirt over my head.
Her cat slinked between my legs as I moved through the kitchen to the back door. I’d text her tomorrow to thank her for the lovely evening.
I couldn’t keep coming over here and getting these “domestic” feelings. She called us friends with benefits, and friends don’t fall in love. Friends don’t sleep over. Friends don’t start to think “what-if.”
Some people might make the excuse that their life was too complicated for a relationship, for a commitment, but it was just the opposite for me. My life was simple: I’d signed a blank check to the U.S. Government, up to and including my life.
Sarah’s name was nowhere on that check. She could talk about openness and polyamory and friends with benefits all she wanted. But that check says it’s just me and Uncle Sam.
I needed to remember that.