Chapter 7
CHAPTER
SEVEN
Before my promotion became official, Sarah and I had “the talk” about labeling our relationship. Maybe she didn’t feel “friends with benefits” was cutting it anymore? I couldn’t make her any promises, but I told her I wasn’t going anywhere.
Then I found out my deployment was imminent. I was leaving in June.
I didn’t invite my family to my commissioning ceremony. In my dreams, it was Sarah at my side when I became Lieutenant McAllister. The night Sarah and I celebrated my promotion and I asked her to pin me, I also told her I was being deployed.
The look on her face when I said I was going to Afghanistan…
Her eyes stayed locked on mine, seeing right through me, as they always did. I witnessed the warring emotions in their sepia depths. Was she happy for me or sad that I was leaving?
“It’s only for nine months,” I’d said, as though that was a consolation.
No one falls in love with a soldier and doesn’t get their heart broken in one way or another.
Backing off would have been the smart thing to do, maybe even the kind thing. And I tried to minimize the damage, but I couldn’t seem to stay away from her. She had wrapped herself around me, weaving into my routines, stitching her own pattern into the fabric of my life.
Like tonight, she invited me out for drinks with her and her friends Rachel and Jack. Coulda given any number of excuses, but here I was stationed in the parking lot, ready to meet her.
A little tap on the driver’s side door sent a jolt of panic through me. My head jerked up, and her dark eyes were peering in the window, lips curled into a smile. Her head tilted, and she shrugged as if to ask, You coming?
After turning off the ignition, I slid my phone into my pocket and climbed out of my truck. “Hey.”
She looked deeply offended by my casual greeting. “Do I get a kiss?”
I didn’t bother with an answer, just swept her into my arms and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. The winter wind whipped around us, and she shivered. She was wearing a thin sweater over a dress—not exactly appropriate for thirty-degree weather.
“Rachel and Jack should be here any minute, but I’m freezing!” Her teeth chattered as she awaited my response.
“Well, let’s go in and get a table.” Arm around her, I led her toward the entrance. She snuggled into my side like she was mine.
We didn’t even have time to look at the menu before Sarah’s friends arrived.
Rachel was a short blond whose personality shone at the same magnitude as the sun.
Jack, her fiancé, was much more reserved, a musician.
We usually ended up talking about classic rock since my dad was a big fan, and I grew up on The Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin.
“So, Sarah tells me we’re not fucking tonight,” Rachel started right in, zero foreplay.
I tried to keep my expression neutral as Sarah slapped the table with a laugh. “You and Jack can fuck all you want. You just won’t be fucking us.” She pointed between her and me.
I looked at her, brows pinched, while Rachel burst into a witchy cackle. “For fuck’s sake, Sarah. Way to scare him off before we even get him initiated!”
“What?” I could no longer disguise my growing discomfort with this conversation.
I knew Sarah was polyamorous and her friend Rachel was likeminded, but—what did she think was happening tonight? No one had bothered to clue me in.
“James, sorry, my friend is just teasing you. She’s going for shock value.” Sarah shot daggers at Rachel as the blond gulped down her beer then grinned.
Rachel reached over and put her hand on my arm. “You didn’t seem this shy when we had the threesome for Christmas.”
I nearly choked on my own sip of beer. I wasn’t sure if Jack knew about the gift Sarah gave me for Christmas, or if he approved, but he just took a hearty swig of his lager and chuckled.
“It’s not like I was expecting swords to cross,” Rachel continued, despite Sarah giving her the stink-eye. “I just wanted to fuck you again, James. I’m not gonna lie.”
Sarah shook her head. “You don’t have to respond to that in any way, shape, or form, James. Rachel really is just trying to get a rise out of you.”
“Can I check to see if I achieved my goal?” Rachel slid her hand toward my crotch, and Sarah grabbed her arm, jerking her away from me.
“Behave yourself, woman!” she huffed. “Everyone in here is looking at you. And not in a good way.”
“It’s always a good way if you’re getting attention.” Rachel flipped her blond hair as her lips spread into a sultry smile.
“I can’t take her anywhere,” Jack chimed in, still chuckling between sips.
Sarah set down her wine glass—she wasn’t a fan of beer—and cleared her throat. “On that note, I’m changing the subject. Abby said something disturbing to me this week. Made my Mama Bear claws come out.”
“Uh oh. What was it?” Rachel’s eyes widened as she smoothly transitioned from sexual innuendo to parenting.
“She said a girl in her gym class teased her in the locker room when they were changing. Said she was getting chubby,” Sarah revealed, shaking her head.
“What? Abby is so tiny!” Rachel seemed shocked. “What the fuck is wrong with that girl?”
Sarah shrugged. “Probably jealousy. You know how catty girls can be, and how one negative comment can make them so insecure. Especially at that age.”
I flashed back to some teen drama in my own home, growing up with two younger sisters. I remembered feeling lucky to be a guy and not having to deal with drama and makeup and fashion and periods and all of it.
“So, what did you tell her?” Rachel signaled the server for another beer after polishing her first one off. Jack and I remained silent, neither of us qualified to weigh in on this topic.
“I said her body is nobody else’s business, and anyone who comments on it should be ignored. And that her value as a human being has nothing to do with her weight or looks.”
“That’s some good shit,” Rachel agreed. “I like that. Good job, Mama.”
“Thanks. I’m going to get her a book on body image, something written for teens.
I don’t ever want her to feel pressure to diet or look a certain way.
My mom tried to keep me out of that mindset, but I came of age in the nineties when the waif look was all the rage.
It was hard, you know? I fell into that trap and struggled with my body image.
Got all these curves from my mama—not like I can fight my genes.
I think Abby’s figure comes from her dad’s side of the family.
Thankfully, I made peace with my body a long time ago.
But I just don’t want her to struggle like I did. ”
“How did you learn to do that?” I piped up.
“For the record, I think your body is absolutely stunning. I just wondered how you made peace with it. I work with a lot of women—and men too, actually—fighting to keep their weight within military standards. I hate seeing them go through that—all their crash diets and crazy PT.”
“Well, you’re probably going to be surprised by my answer,” she shared, causing three pairs of eyebrows to arch, including mine.
“Go on…” Jack uttered what we were all thinking.
“The lifestyle is what helped me learn to love my body. Being free and uninhibited sexually made me fall in love with everything my body can do—from the way it experiences pleasure to the way it gives pleasure to a partner. Sex is a powerful tool for showcasing the harmony between body, mind and soul.” She looked around the table, gauging our response to her revelation.
Rachel smiled. “You know what? I never thought of that before, but you are so right. It’s hard to hate your body when you’re in the middle of an orgasm.”
I couldn’t help but snicker at that one. Rachel always had to push the boundaries just a little further, didn’t she?
Jack put his hand on my shoulder. “We sure hit the jackpot with these two, didn’t we?”
I looked at my beautiful goddess sitting next to me and grinned.
I sure did.