Chapter Nine
ZACK
Me: The lodge isn’t available either. They have a large conference booked that weekend. Sorry. On the plus side, looks like we’ll have to go check out other places together.
Me: Oh, what about the Crescent Moon? They have that upstairs area. We could meet there after work tonight.
Before I could send another text, the alarms blared overhead. We loaded up quickly and headed out to the scene of a possible fatal car accident. We were being dispatched to aid a neighboring town, likely because they were tied up dealing with a different call.
Once in the truck, Mia’s voice came through the radio, giving us an update. “Be advised, driver of blue minivan is pinned and unresponsive. Condition unknown. There is also a young child in the vehicle. Condition also unknown.”
Damn. Logan accelerated, but even with the increased speed, it took us fourteen minutes to arrive. EMS was already on scene working on multiple victims. I could tell from the looks on their faces that we already had a fatality.
There was a young guy who got rushed to the local hospital with mostly minor injuries.
But the female driver of the minivan had lost too much blood by the time we arrived.
The EMTs pronounced her dead at the scene.
Thankfully, the young girl in the back seat only sustained a few bumps and bruises, but the psychological impact of losing her mother would likely become lifelong scars.
The ride back to the station was quiet, our usual banter replaced by grim looks of recognition and understanding.
It continued as we removed our gear and hung it back up, preparing for the next call to come in.
Fatalities had a way of reminding us of our own mortality.
It was the most difficult part of the job to manage.
I sat down in the common area, pulled out my phone, and started scrolling through funny videos. I tended to stick to reels of dogs, cats, or babies. It was how I detoxed after a hard call. Laughter is the best medicine, right?
I laughed so hard at one video of dogs playing in the snow, all the guys turned to stare at me.
Turning my phone so they could see the screen, I said, “Dogs and snow. Hilarious shit.” I chuckled, and the guys mostly rolled their eyes or shook their heads, then went back to what they were doing. They were used to me by now.
My thoughts strayed to Mia as I watched the same video again. Would she find it funny too? Only one way to find out. I hit the share button, sending it to her.
I toggled over to our text thread, seeing that she’d read my last three texts, but still no response.
Me: I know you’re on shift. But let me know what you think of the Crescent Moon idea.
An hour passed as I made us all lunch. We took turns cooking, and I was on lunch duty this week. After the morning we’d had, it seemed like a great day for grilled cheese and tomato soup.
I pulled up my text thread with Mia while I ate. There was still no response. Everything had been quiet over the radio, so she couldn’t be that busy. There hadn’t even been any EMS calls. Maybe she was upset because The Lodge didn’t work out either. Although that wasn’t really my fault.
Shit. Maybe she was done with our “ceasefire” and was back to thoroughly hating me. Why did that sit like lead in my gut? I typed out another quick text, vowing to leave her alone after this last attempt.
Me: Are you ignoring me?
Excitement spread through my body as three dots appeared and disappeared. It wasn’t a response yet, but it gave me hope. Damn. I was really owning the puppy dog title everyone liked to throw at me.
Raven: Sorry, no. Just having a rough day.
My thoughts drifted back to the call from earlier where we lost the driver. Middle-aged mom of two kids. She had one in the back who was hysterical as the EMTs checked her out, begging for her mom when we arrived.
I actually had mad respect for what Mia did. There was no way I would be any good at it. My words being the only tool I had? The idea blew my mind.
But it was obvious Mia needed some kind of outlet to cope and deal with the really bad days, and I didn’t think offering a sexual one was a good idea. Not because I wasn’t interested. In fact, I liked that idea more than I should have.
My mind drifted back to the other night in the bar when she’d kissed me. What would it have been like if things had gone further? Would she want control? Ride my cock and make herself come? Would she dig her nails into my skin and leave marks?
A dish clattered nearby, and I blinked.
Fuck. I shifted uncomfortably. Cut it out, Stoer. Don’t go there.
I couldn’t offer her that. Or rather, I definitely shouldn’t. But there was something else I could offer.
I typed an address into my phone, but hesitated before hitting send. Would she think it was stupid? It really helped me after a hard day to release pent-up frustrations.
Fuck it. I hit send before quickly typing out another text.
Me: Meet me here after work.
Raven: I’m really not in the mood to run around to seventeen different places tonight when we can just call. I’ll take care of it.
Me: It’s not for that. It’s for you.
Me: Trust me. Please?
Over the next two hours, we got a few easy calls. A possible gas leak that was nothing, a building alarm that was easily dealt with, and a wellness check.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out, smiling as I read the text from Mia.
Raven: What the heck is Wreck It?
Me: It’s what I do after a hard day. Give it a try, Raven. I think you’d like it.
“You like her.” Adam’s smug voice penetrated my thoughts, and I glanced up at him. We sat across from each other in the crew seats of the truck. He shook his head with a sly grin. “Goddamn it, Miles was right. This is Savannah all over again.”
I wasn’t going to lie to my best friend. But this was different. I wasn’t denying I liked her. “It’s not the same.”
Was I attracted to Mia? Fuck yes. But did I think there could be anything real between us? No. And that was why I had no intention of letting anything happen between us.
He pointed a finger at me. “That wasn’t a no.”
“What do you want me to say, man?” I knew he was concerned I was going to cause problems with Lyla.
But I had no intention of doing that. “I’ll admit I like her.
I’m not denying that. But I’m not going to cross that line with her.
And not just because of Lyla. Mia is the definition of emotionally unavailable. ”
Adam cocked a brow, like that surprised him.
For as well as we knew each other, he really didn’t get me sometimes.
He thought I got bored easily and that was the reason I hadn’t had any serious long-term relationships.
And for a while there, I thought he was right.
But in the last couple of years, I’d started to understand it had more to do with the women I dated.
I just couldn’t picture a future with them.
“And since when is that a quality you want?”
I sat back, crossing my arms over my chest, pinning him with one eyebrow raised. Had he been so wrapped up with Lyla that he really hadn’t noticed? “Dude, it’s been almost a year since I dated someone.”
His eyes widened, and then his brows pulled together comically as he thought about what I’d said. “Wait… really?” His brows creased a bit more. Hopefully he didn’t blow a fuse thinking that hard. “What about that redhead? Courtney?”
“I ended things with her last May.” And given that it was currently February, we were coming up on nine months since that relationship had fizzled out.
I wasn’t going to tell Adam this and give him more fuel, but, in a way, Mia had been the catalyst. We were all hanging out at the bar the night Izzy brought her group of friends out to join us.
One look at Mia, and I was falling over myself to talk to her.
To be close to her. Her presence that night was all-encompassing, and it pulled me in, needing to be in her orbit.
I quickly realized that Courtney didn’t pull that kind of intensity out of me.
Did I enjoy her presence? Sure. I just didn’t crave it.
He shifted in his seat, glancing out the window, and I could almost see him warring with himself. Finally, he sighed and looked back at me. “I think she could be.”
“What?” Somewhere along my internal musings I’d lost what he was referring to.
“Mia.” He clarified, like that helped. “I think she could be emotionally available. You just need to get past her walls.”
Fuck. I tensed. Why had I even said anything? I shook my head. “No. I’m not going there.”
He crossed his arms and shot me a stern look. “What the fuck did you say to me when I was dragging my feet with Lyla?”
“Not the same, man.” I smirked. “You were being an idiot. I’m being smart.”
He laughed. “Or you’re the idiot now.”
“I thought you and Lyla didn’t want us to muddle everything, remember?”
He shrugged. “You’re my best friend. If Mia’s who you want, I’ll have your back.”
“You owe me twenty bucks, asshole,” Logan said from the driver’s seat. “I told you I was right.”
Adam rolled his eyes. “Fucker,” he mumbled.
These guys were ridiculous. Honestly, I didn’t think it mattered what I wanted, because I had no illusions it was the same thing that Mia wanted.
We pulled up in front of the firehouse, and I volunteered to get out and stop traffic so Logan could back the rig into the bay. I needed the few minutes to myself to sort through my thoughts.
Maybe Adam was right, and with the right approach, Mia could be open to something deep and real. But I wasn’t convinced. And frankly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take the risk of finding out she wasn’t capable.
I sighed. None of this mattered. She hated me. Barely tolerating me for the sake of our friends. Did Adam forget about that?
A horn honked and I jumped, startled out of my thoughts. The guys laughed their asses off as I stepped out of the street and made my way toward the open bay doors.
This was all their fault. Why couldn’t they just give me shit for liking her and move on?
No. Instead, they wanted to support me. Give me all these thoughts to stew on.
I didn’t like thinking. Or rather, overthinking.
It made my brain hurt. So, decision made.
We were just going to be frenemies, or whatever you call it.
We’d banter and flirt, but not cross any lines.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.