13. Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
ZACK
What the fuck was I thinking? I’d been so good at making sure I didn’t step over that line.
It was probably Adam getting in my head the other day, talking about if I wanted to try something with Mia, he’d be supportive.
But this was a good reminder. Mia wasn’t interested in trying anything besides a quick fuck.
I had to admit that sounded slightly tempting, but she was also probably right—I would want more. So much more.
I wanted all of her. Every single fucking thorn and the beautiful flower that I suspected lay beneath. But was I willing to risk being wrong?
I glanced sideways at her as I pulled the Jeep to a stop at the light.
I was surprised she hadn’t asked if she could drive again.
Her slightly curly hair was draped over one shoulder, the side of her neck, specifically the slight mark on her skin, visible to me.
I couldn’t stop a self-satisfied grin from forming on my lips.
I was an asshole, but something about leaving my mark on her made me happier than it should. Also, if I was being honest, the fact that she cancelled her date to be with me tonight made me just as happy.
She turned to face me. “You need to stop looking at me like that.”
I pulled my gaze away and focused back on the road in front of me. “Like what?”
“Like you wish I was different. Or maybe trying to figure out how you could make things work between us.”
I laughed. “You assume a lot, you know?”
She shrugged. “No matter how many times I tell a guy I don’t do relationships, it almost always ends the same way.”
“And how’s that?”
“They get attached and hope I’ve magically changed.”
“Maybe you just haven’t met the right guy.”
“That.” She huffed and narrowed her eyes, pointing a finger at me.
“Right there. That’s how it always starts.
They all think they’re the special one who will set me straight.
But they aren’t, and it doesn’t. I’ve been with plenty of guys I really liked, but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want a serious relationship.
And it’s frustrating that guys can say that and people almost expect it.
They accept it without a second thought.
Call them a playboy and then glamorize it.
But a woman? No. We must be broken or something. Need to be changed.”
“Believe it or not, most of us experience the same thing. I was a playboy for very many years, and almost every girl I dated tried to change me. To make me want forever with them.”
Her brows rose high on her forehead. “So what changed?”
I smirked. “I never said anything changed. Again, you assumed.”
She rolled her eyes. “You didn’t correct me.”
I didn’t think it would help to admit it was her I specifically thought I could easily fall for.
“I’m more open to the idea of something serious now.
I think watching all my friends find love has made me want that too.
Or maybe I’m just getting bored and ready for the next stage of life, but I haven’t found anyone I could see a future with.
So maybe, like you, I’m just not made for that. ”
She was quiet, and after a moment I asked, “Why are you so against it? The idea of love and commitment? Were you hurt so badly you’re never willing to risk your heart again or something?"
She shrugged. “Nope. Not really.” A long sigh left her lips. “Although one guy tried to psychoanalyze me with daddy issues.”
“Daddy issues?” I’d never really heard her talk about her parents or childhood, so I wasn’t really sure of any of it.
“My dad walked out when I was five. Never heard from him again. My mom had a revolving door of men in and out of our life. None of them ever stuck around though.”
“Oh.” I would never understand men who walked away from their kids. But then again, maybe fathers like the one from the call today should just walk away. The system wasn’t great, but it had to be better than some abusive asshole.
“But I don’t think it’s all about that.” I hated the hint of disappointment when she said, “Because I’d learned as a teen it wasn’t always the guys who were the issues.
It was my mom. She believed my dad was her one and only true love.
I think the way he destroyed her left her unable to let someone else in. ”
“Maybe you’re scared the same thing could happen to you.
” I caught her scowl out of the corner of my eye and did my best to keep a straight face.
She was adorable when she did that, but this wasn’t the time or place to annoy her.
It would probably make her shut down, and I got the sense she needed to get this out.
“Or maybe I just don’t see the point. I don’t really want kids. I like living by myself. I’m kind of selfish—”
“Bullshit,” I clipped, cutting her off. “You don’t want to upset your friends.
You don’t want to risk hurting me. You take on a planning project that Nicole was supposed to do—one you have zero interest or investment in—just to help her out.
You helped take care of Lyla when she was injured.
You’re going with me tonight to a rage room, when you probably don’t even want to, because you know I need it.
Oh, and you volunteer at an animal shelter.
You’re a lot of things, Mia. But you’re far from selfish. ”
She gasped. “Wait, how do you know about the animal shelter? Did Lyla tell you?”
I chuckled and shook my head. That was her only takeaway from everything I just said? “Saw your picture on the wall a couple of months ago when we did the photo shoot for the calendar.”
A slight blush formed on her cheeks, and then she sent me another glare. “Don’t you tell anyone.”
“Why?” I sent her a quick glance. “Afraid people will realize you’re more than sarcasm, eye rolls, and barbs.”
“No. They’ll all want to come, and I do it to get away from people. The animals are easier to deal with.”
“That seems like a very Mia thing to say.”
“It’s the truth.” Her lips puckered and she crossed her arms.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the deep V of her cleavage in that damn purple dress she wore.
It had been taunting me all night as I imagined snaking my hand underneath to feel just how soaking wet she was for me.
The moment those words tumbled from her lips, I knew I was a goner.
I would never be able to forget it, the truth I had been hoping for cemented in my brain.
“Is that not a good outlet? Being surrounded by adorable puppies and kittens?”
She guffawed. “Volunteering isn’t just playing with the animals, you know. It’s cleaning their cages and changing the litter boxes, replacing bedding and refilling food and water bowls.”
My gaze drifted over to her legs as she shifted in the seat, crossing one over the other. The skirt of her dress rode up her thighs, exposing beautiful tanned skin. I blinked, focusing back on the road. That would be my luck—crash the Jeep because I was distracted by her gorgeous fucking legs.
“You really don’t think I’m even a little bit selfish?” she whispered, almost to the point I barely heard her.
I pulled into the parking lot of the rage room and whipped into a spot before throwing it into park and turning to face her. “Fuck no. Independent and stubborn as an ox? Absofuckinglutely. But selfish? Definitely not.”
She sighed. “The last guy I dated told me I was coldhearted and selfish, even though I was very clear about what I wanted. Or rather, didn’t want.”
“I think…” I paused, getting my thoughts together.
I wasn’t going to lie to her, but I wanted to make sure I worded this correctly.
“You’re very guarded. And I’ll be honest, I’m not sure you’re even capable of deep emotional connection.
But part of that is because you don’t let yourself.
Regardless, none of that is being selfish.
” I sent her a teasing smirk. “Unless you drag the poor schmucks along until they are so hopelessly in love with you they can’t see straight. ”
She rolled her eyes. “I think it’s mostly their egos that are broken, not their hearts.”
“Probably,” I said with a grin before adding, “It’s not like you’re all that nice anyway.” It had been too long since I’d gotten in a little teasing.
Her eyes narrowed for a quick second, but then she grinned, raising an eyebrow. “And you say I’m the one not capable of deep emotional connection?”
“Touché.” I sent her a wink and hopped out of the Jeep.
I looked up at the Wreck It sign as we headed toward the front door. I wasn’t sure about this idea when she’d first suggested it, but now that we were here, I was glad.
Even if it wasn’t exactly what I wanted.