43. Lincoln
LINCOLN
The door leading to the locker rooms swung shut behind my teammates.
I was the last one remaining on the ice, exhausted and sweating, but still going, pushing my body to its limits.
Anything to postpone the reality that would hit the second I left the rink.
The reality I’d been stuck in for the past nine days.
Nine days since I’d fucked everything up, possibly irreparably.
Nine days in which I’d grown more and more hopeless, failing in all my attempts to reach Daniel.
Only the thought of the upcoming game against the Cranham Kings was keeping me going.
My lungs were burning, my muscles were aching, but still I continued to push.
My breaths became a harsh rasp over the crack of my stick hitting the puck and the rhythmic glide of my skates, and I gritted my teeth, skating over to the benches.
Removing my helmet, I picked up the headphones I’d been using earlier to drown out my own thoughts while I was waiting for my teammates to arrive and connected them to my phone.
With music blasting into my ears, I downed the remaining contents of my bottle of water before returning to the ice. I had to exhaust myself sometime, surely?
The lights suddenly dimmed and then turned off, leaving just the low glow of the security lighting. I came to a flying stop, kicking up a spray of ice, scanning the rink.
The gate opened, and a hooded figure stepped onto the ice, their face obscured by a black mask with blue neon slashes over the eyes and mouth.
My heart hammered in my chest as I held myself completely still, waiting to see what he would do.
He began to circle the rink in a slow, graceful glide, his circles becoming smaller and smaller, until I could feel the whoosh of air as he skated around me.
He came to a stop right in front of me, and I caught the gleam of a knuckleduster as his hands rose.
My chest heaved as I struggled for breath, completely unprepared for this confrontation, but all he did was lift my headphones from my ears, throwing them to the ice.
Music came faintly from where they’d been thrown, but it was overridden by my fast, shallow breaths as the masked figure drew his arm back.
“Dan.”
“No,” he snarled, slamming his fist into my stomach.
Pain exploded in my body as I flew backwards across the ice, Daniel following me, sending us both tumbling down to the frozen surface.
We grappled, and this time, I was fighting for my life, already exhausted, already at my limits, and Daniel was out for blood.
“Let me talk,” I gasped out between punches, rolling away from his fist as it came at me again. “Please.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. You fucking betrayed me!”
“I— It wasn’t like that! Let me explain!”
“No! You absolute callous fucking bastard! You’re going to pay for what you did to me!” His voice cracked, and my heart stuttered, fresh misery radiating through my body at the utter agony in his voice.
Fuck. He wouldn’t listen to reason, and that only left me with one course of action.
Gathering up all my remaining strength, I rolled, throwing myself onto his body and getting his arms pinned above his head.
We were both breathing hard, our chests pressed together, and I suddenly felt like crying.
This was so fucking miserable, and I hated that he hated me again.
Swallowing back my tears, I lowered my head to his ear. There was only one thing I could try, and I put everything I had into it, willing my voice to come out commanding, instead of a shaky mess. “Shut your fucking mouth and stay still.”
He immediately stilled, and I flexed my gloved hands, removing one from his wrist. “Stay. Still. I mean it. Don’t even think about moving.”
A sharp inhale came from beneath the mask, but he remained in place, and I removed one glove, then another, before carefully easing the mask from his face.
It clattered onto the ice next to us, but neither of us paid it any attention, our eyes connecting for the first time.
Fucking. Hell. Daniel was even paler than usual, his lips bitten and chapped, and his eyes swollen and sore. It was his empty expression that did me in, though. His normally bright blue eyes were dull and lifeless as he stared up at me.
“What have I done?” I whispered.
“You made me hate you,” he said tonelessly. “Just like you wanted.” All the fire from a moment ago was gone, completely extinguished, and my lip trembled.
“I didn’t want that. I don’t want that.”
“I can’t believe I was so fucking stupid.
I bet you were having so much fun laughing at me behind my back.
What was your goal? Your family finally getting the Hoytons locked up where we belong?
You got something out of it too, I bet. A nice monetary bonus from Daddy? A cushy house when you graduate? A—”
“Shut the fuck up,” I rasped, getting my hand around his throat and squeezing. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
He swallowed around my tight grip, staring up at me defiantly. “What’s the matter, Bellingham? Can’t handle me speaking the truth? Or is it the knowledge that deep down, you’re no better than me? No…that’s a lie. I would never sell out anyone I cared about. Never.”
Abandoning all caution, I dived down and slammed my mouth over his.
For a second, everything was okay again.
For a second, he kissed me back.
For a second, I was home.
Then he bit down, hard, and pain bloomed across my lip, the metallic tang of blood filling my mouth. He scrambled away from me, getting up onto his knees and then skating away as fast as he could.
“No!” I scrambled to follow him, skating faster than I’d ever skated in my life, but I still wasn’t quick enough to catch up with him. Until the man who was always surefooted on the ice, always graceful…stumbled.
My momentum carried us both into the boards, slamming our bodies up against the tempered glass, the breath punched from our lungs. I didn’t even pause, getting my arm around Daniel and wrenching him around to face me, his skates scraping over the ice as his body twisted.
He bared his teeth. “Let me go, or I will fucking stab you.”
I licked across my lips, swiping away the blood, and his eyes darkened. Something inside me eased a little. If I could still get a reaction from him, then maybe I could get him to listen to me.
“Let’s make a deal. You hear me out, and if you still want to stab me afterwards, I’ll let you try.”
“Try.” He laughed humourlessly. “I will fuck you up so badly, even your own parents won’t recognise you.”
A shiver ran down my spine. He wasn’t bluffing. He really did mean it.
Rubbing a shaking hand over my mouth, I blinked hard, stalling the tears that were threatening to fall. I’d irreparably fucked things up between us, hadn’t I?
Something flickered in his gaze. “Get changed and meet me outside. Same place we met before. You get five minutes to spin your bullshit story, then all bets are off.”
“Deal.” I’d take anything he was willing to give me.
“Don’t even think that this means anything. All it means is that you get five minutes of my time. Five minutes you don’t even deserve. I fucking detest you.” Shooting me one last hateful look, he turned his back on me, skating towards the exit.
He never looked back.
Tears made my vision swim. He despised me. He didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and it shouldn’t have been a surprise. My own fucking parents didn’t want me, so why should it be any different with him? I knew I wasn’t loveable. Not like he was.
But despite knowing all that, the agony tearing through my chest was like nothing I could have ever imagined. Nothing I could have prepared for. Nothing I could escape.
I was fucking devastated. I’d done what I thought was the right thing, and it had ended up being the worst decision of my life.