Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tatiana
I don’t know why I’m so nervous when I get ready for dinner. We’re just having pizza at a fast-food chain restaurant. Yet nerves that feel a lot like first date jitters skate down my back when I examine my reflection in the mirror.
I’ve opted for a casual look with an off-shoulder cashmere top and skinny jeans, which I’ve paired with ballerina flats.
I’ve blow-dried my hair straight and left it hanging loose down my back.
My make-up is light, accentuating the green color of my eyes and making my lips look fuller.
My engagement and wedding rings are my only jewelry.
Noah barges into the walk-in closet, wearing jeans and a white shirt. “Is it time to go?”
Laughing, I catch him in my arms. “In a minute. Daddy should be home soon.” I tap his nose. “What did I say about knocking before you come in?”
He pulls a face. “I forgot.”
I crouch down and hug him against me, breathing in the apple scent of the no-tears kiddie’s shampoo in his hair. “I understand, sweetheart. It’s still new, right? You’ll remember when you get used to it.”
The moment the words have left my lips, I still.
Where did that come from?
Why would I say something that sounds as if Noah isn’t used to respecting boundaries or privacy?
Out of nowhere, an image of a small room with a double bed and a crate that serves as a bookshelf flashes through my mind.
The picture is so intimately familiar and, at the same time, disconcerting, that I straighten abruptly.
I have a feeling that I should know that place.
Then why is my stomach contracting into a tight ball and a strange unease takes root inside me?
“Mommy?” Noah stares up at me with a frown. “Are you sick?”
I plaster a smile on my face. “I’m fine. Are you hungry?”
He rubs his tummy. “My stomach is making noises.”
A soft, affectionate laugh leaves my lips, easing some of the tension that’s settled in my chest. “Would you like a snack while we wait?”
“There’s my two favorite people,” Dante says in his deep voice from the door.
I turn around to see him entering the walk-in closet while working loose his tie. He’s dressed in a dark suit and crisp white shirt, making the clothes look unreasonably hot.
He directs his disarming smile at me as he takes me in from head to toe before fixing a heated gaze on my face. “You look beautiful.”
The atmosphere changes. The air becomes charged with a deeper nuance that shouldn’t be present with Noah in the room.
My breath catches. Just one look from him, and my heart starts racing. Like a deer caught in a snare, I’m rendered helpless, anticipation coursing through me as I wait for the hunter to decide my fate.
But then he breaks our eye contact to smile at Noah. “Did someone say he was hungry?”
Mercifully, the spell is broken, and I’m free. My mind and my body are my own again.
I let out a breath. “We’ll let you get ready.” Holding out a hand to Noah, I say, “Let’s give Daddy some space while I make you that snack to see you over until dinner.”
For once, Noah takes my hand.
The thought jolts me. Did I just acknowledge that my son doesn’t like to hold my hand? It’s the second time this evening that I’m thinking something I can’t explain.
Noah pulls free and runs ahead of me.
Giving myself a mental shake, I make to continue on my way, but Dante catches my wrist.
I pause to look at him.
Concern darkens his eyes. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes.” Not wanting to spoil the evening, I keep my voice bright. “I’m just feeling a little strange tonight.”
He frowns. “Like how?”
I shrug, not sure how to explain it. “As if I’m not myself.”
The line between his eyebrow deepens. “Are you unhappy?”
I force a laugh. “Of course not. I have you and Noah. Why would I be unhappy?”
He runs his thumb in a gentle caress over my wrist. “Did something happen?”
“No.” I utter another uncomfortable laugh. “I thought I remembered something.”
His features tighten. “What was it?”
“I don’t know. I think it was a bedroom with a crate for a bookshelf, but for some reason, the picture made me anxious.”
Reeling me in by my wrist, he pulls my body against his and wraps his arms around me. “Don’t fret about it. You heard what Dr. Chad said. Getting anxious isn’t good for you.”
I tilt my head back to look at him. “Do you think my memory is returning?”
“Let’s not make premature assumptions. Give it time.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t jump to conclusions based on a single flashback. I’m just impatient to get that part of my life back.”
He kisses the top of my head. “You have to be patient and allow it to happen naturally. If you’re not remembering, it’s because you’re not ready to deal with it. It’s your mind’s way of protecting you.”
I sigh. “You’re right. Maybe I just have too much time on my hands.”
“Are you saying you want a hobby?”
“I—” I think about that. “I honestly don’t know. Did I have a hobby?” I add uncertainly, “You know, before?”
A veil drops in front of his eyes, making it impossible for me to read him, but the soft tilt of his lips is tender when he lets me go. “No, you didn’t.” He gives me a peck on the lips before unbuttoning his shirt. “I won’t be long. I know Noah is eager for us to go.”
“Sure.” Suppressing the new uncertainty that has taken hold of me, I try to sound confident and not as if my world is tilting off kilter. “Take your time.”
On my way to the kitchen, I consider what Dante has said.
Before we started seeing each other in secret, my social calendar didn’t leave me much free time.
I always had obligatory dinners, fundraisers, and parties to attend, so I never thought about taking up a hobby.
Every one of my free minutes was spent scheming how to sneak away with Dante without getting caught.
And now there’s Noah. Everything in between is a blank. Except for those weird flashes accompanied by deeply unpleasant sensations. Is that why my mind won’t allow me to remember? Because if I do, the memories will crush me?
Emily meets me in the kitchen, interrupting my train of thought when she says, “I started packing.”
The statement comes out of nowhere, catching me by surprise. “You did?”
Noah pulls at my sleeve. “Can I have cereal, Mommy? Please?”
Emily wrings her hands. “You’re back on your feet, and, well, I reckon you don’t need me any longer.”
“But why the rush?” I touch her arm. “You know we love having you here, right?”
Noah pulls harder on my sleeve. “Mommy.”
“Just a moment, Noah. I’m talking to Emily, and it’s rude to interrupt people while they’re talking.”
“That’s the thing, you see,” Emily says with flushed cheeks.
Confused, I stare at her. “That we like having you here?”
“I think it will be good for you and Mr. Morici to have some privacy.”
Noah heaves an animated sigh that slouches his shoulders before marching with dramatic steps to the island counter.
Something she said gives me pause. Then it hits me. “You usually call him Dante.”
She gives a start.
I don’t know why I said that. In front of me, she addresses him as Mr. Morici. Although, I’m certain she calls him by his first name when I’m not present.
She opens her mouth, but I want to set things straight. “Dante and I do have privacy.”
Her smile is rueful. “It’s better like this.”
Oh. I think I get it. “If the work is too much, you should’ve told me.”
“It’s not that, I assure you.”
“Emily, I don’t understand. Dante sleeps at the condo seldomly. There’s not much to do. If it’s not the workload here, then what is it? We’ve always been open with each other. You can be frank with me.”
“I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“You’re not. I’ll tell you if that’s the case, which I can assure you will never be. I appreciate your help with the house and Noah.”
“All right,” she says, not sounding convinced.
“If you want to go back to the condo, that’s fine. I just don’t want you to do it for the wrong reasons. You’re always welcome here.”
She nods and moves away quickly, making it clear she doesn’t want to talk about the matter anymore.
Letting it go for now, I give Noah my attention. “Emily and I have finished talking. Now it’s your turn.”
“Can I have cereal?” he asks again. “Please?”
I’m not a big fan of feeding him something that’s so high in refined sugar and full of artificial colors and flavors. Jazz, meaning well, got him hooked on the cereal while I’d been missing.
I open the pantry. “You can have peanuts and raisins.”
Noah doesn’t contest because peanuts and raisins are always a firm favorite with him.
Once again, I have no idea how I know that.
I just do.
The dinner is fun. Noah is in his element.
The three of us bond over deliciously cheesy pepperoni pizzas followed by ice cream sundaes for dessert.
Noah makes full use of the carte blanche he’s been given by ordering a fizzy orange drink.
I have a glass of white wine while Dante only has water because he’s driving.
For once, we didn’t take a driver. It’s nice—just us like any other family in the car.
Of course, two cars with guards followed, and Dante’s men did a safety check in the restaurant before he allowed us to enter.
But the evening feels exceptionally normal.
And that’s special. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.
The sex afterward is tender. Dante takes his time with me.
He worships my body in a hundred different ways, spreading me out on the floor because we didn’t make it to the bed, then on the bed, and again in the shower.
No wonder I’m sore. But I’m not complaining.
I snuggle against him, exhausted but content, drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep to be woken just after six in the morning by a knock on the door.
Dante is fully awake in a flash, looking vigilant and alert as he sits up.
“Mommy?” Noah calls from the other side of the door. “Daddy? Can I come in?”