Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Dante
A lot has happened during the last two days. Not only did I give Tatiana back her shares, but I also gave her the rest—the ones that belonged to her brother and that I’ve acquired through clever strategizing over the years. It wasn’t my plan, but it felt right. It felt good for a change.
Technically, she doesn’t need the money.
The day I kick the bucket, Tatiana and Noah will be well provided for.
They’ll have more than enough to live safely and comfortably.
She never has to work again. Still, I wanted to give her a chance to make it on her own, and I don’t doubt for a second she will.
My decision to fast forward the setup of her own business has more to do with my guilt than anything else.
Tatiana is young. She has time. But I wanted to make up for the hardships she suffered.
Because as long as I live, I’ll know she suffered them for me.
If she gave up her dream to study, it was due to my actions.
If she had to run for her life with no one to protect her, it was my fault.
She worked her hands to the bone to take care of our son and keep him safe.
She did a damn good job of it too, and I can never be more grateful.
The dark cloud of her past still hangs over our heads, but as the days go by, I’m less and less eager for her to remember.
I want to put another baby inside her. I want to see this one growing in her belly, and I want to raise it with her.
I want to see my baby’s first smile and its first step.
I want to own more than a handful of polaroid pictures.
Maybe this is how Lee’s legacy was meant to end—in undying mystery with the necklace forever hidden and the secret living in an inaccessible part of Tatiana’s brain. Will I ever stop searching for it?
Probably not.
But I also know I can’t live like I did before, without Tatiana and Noah, or only with her hate. I don’t want to hurt her when I fuck her because she wants to forget. I don’t want to be the instrument she uses to purge her guilt with violence.
Every time I lay my hands on her, I want her to remember the moment.
I want her to take what she needs because she loves it, be that pain or pleasure, not because she hates it.
She was always the mafia princess meant to rule by my side, my beautiful, strong, invincible queen, and tonight, the whole world will know it.
Let anyone try to touch what’s mine ever again, and I’ll impale their heads on spikes and plant them in front of my enemies’ doors.
Yes, a lot has happened, and tonight I’ll send out a strong message into the world, but before then, I want to be the first one to see my wife in her dress.
After dropping Tatiana and Noah off at home, I oversee the security at the prestigious hotel where the party will take place.
Reino and Ulysses are already on site. They’re in charge of the security arrangements and men stationed around the hotel.
Drone pilots are on standby, waiting for my command.
Snipers are in position. Undercover men and women, pretending to be guests, are scouting every floor of the hotel.
Saverio’s men are surveilling the surroundings.
He’s bringing Anya, so he’s not skimping on precautions either.
I have exactly ten minutes to shower and change when I arrive home.
I go past the playroom first. Tatiana and I have decided to leave Noah at home with Emily and enough guards to protect them.
All the big shots will be at the party tonight, and not all of them play nice.
The testosterone will run high in the room.
Competition is always fierce. Some feuds are never forgotten.
Envy, gossip, and jealousy will be on the menu.
The toxic environment is no place for a child.
Noah is already bathed and dressed in his pajamas, building a new Lego plane. Instead of following the instructions on the leaflet, he mixes bits and pieces of different sets and makes his own creation.
It’s not half bad.
When he grows up, problem solving will definitely be one of his strong skills. Patience too. He can struggle with his own designs for hours without getting agitated.
Flash sits next to him, studying each of Noah’s moves with a tilted head. Emily is keeping an eye on the dog, making sure he doesn’t gobble up any of the small pieces.
When Noah spots me, he abandons the plane and runs to me. “Daddy!”
Flash, inspired by the sudden excitement, follows on Noah’s heels and jumps up against my leg.
I lift Noah in my arms and bend down to scratch Flash’s chin. He sits down and watches me, one ear standing up and the other flopping down. Kent used to give him a treat when he got home. I make a mental note to carry some in my pocket.
Noah hugs me. “Do you want to build Legos with me?”
I put him on his feet. “I would’ve loved to, but I’m taking your mom to a party.”
“I know. Mommy told me. Can I come?”
“It’s only for adults, but we can grab some pizza this weekend.”
“Can Emily come?”
I look at Emily, who smiles. “If she wants to.”
“And Jazz?”
“Sure.”
He continues with excitement. “And Reino? He kicks the ball really far, but not as far as you. And Ulysses? He’s the best goalie. Ted too!”
Raising a brow, I ruffle his hair. “Maybe we should just grill burgers in the backyard. That way, you can invite everyone.”
His eyes grow round. “Can we?” He looks at Flash. “Can he have a burger?”
“That may upset his stomach, but he can definitely join us to play.” Going down on my haunches, I grip Noah’s shoulder. “Your mom and I have never been on a holiday together. I was thinking the three of us and Flash could go. Would you like that?”
“Yes! Did you hear that, Flash?” He gives me a high five. “Can we go to Disney World?”
I chuckle. “I was thinking the mountains, but we can talk about it.”
Emily gets to her feet. “It’s bedtime, Noah. Say goodnight to your dad so that he and your mom can get ready for the party. We don’t want them to be late.”
Noah mumbles a halfhearted goodnight and drags his feet. Only Flash seems excited about going upstairs.
“Thanks, Emily.”
Her smile is soft. “You’re good for him, but he’s good for you too.” She pauses. “What’s going to happen, Dante?”
“With what?”
“When she remembers?”
I stiffen. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
Emily doesn’t meet my gaze. She goes after Noah without replying.
Taking the stairs two by two, I make my way to my bedroom.
It’s strange, but I still think of it as mine, as if I’m somehow coercing Tatiana in being here.
Maybe letting her live in ignorance is a way of coercion.
I can tell myself I’m following Dr. Chad’s advice as much as I like, but it doesn’t change the fact that, like Emily, I both wish for and dread the day my wife’s memory returns.
Tatiana stands in front of the mirror in the walk-in closet, dabbing perfume behind her ears.
The sight of her in that green dress stops me dead.
With her pale skin and jade green eyes, she’s a vision.
The silk accentuates her soft curves and tight ass.
Her back is turned to me, her scars exposed.
The sight of them fills me with both violence and admiration.
I want to commit unspeakable acts and torture the man who did this to her to his last fucking breath, but as Jasper told me, I already killed him.
Tatiana suffered horrendous pain, and she didn’t break.
I know few men who’d last like she did without giving up a name.
But she never told her father the name of the man who ruined and impregnated her when she was promised to another.
For that, I’ve never admired anyone more.
Emily’s words repeat in my mind.
What happens when she remembers?
She’ll remember that she carries those scars because she protected me, and she’ll hate me with more intensity than ever before for the way in which I used her on the very night she almost bled out for me.
No, long before that. Because I used her from the very beginning, even before I bumped into her on the sidewalk in the snow.
“Dante.” She takes me in. “You’ll have to hurry. If we don’t leave in five minutes, we’ll be late.”
Her nipples are visible beneath the fabric that drapes over her chest, and suddenly, I regret telling her to wear that dress. With the open back, she can’t wear a bra. I’m not even sure she’s wearing panties.
I stalk to her, closing the distance in a few long strides. She tilts her head back, a small frown pleating her brow.
My voice is gruff. “You look beautiful.”
Fucking inadequate. But I can’t think of words that will do her justice.
“Thanks.” A smile flirts with her lips. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Turn around.”
“Why?”
She touches her hair, which she’s taken up.
Good. It exposes her back better. I want everyone to see how strong she is.
I want them to look so that they can stop their whispering.
I don’t know how it got out, but rumors always spread like a wildfire in our circles.
I want all those cowards to look at her and see how much they’re lacking, that they can never be as brave as my wife.
She glances over her shoulder. “Is there something wrong with how I look?”
“Other than the fact that a beauty like you should be adorned with jewelry? No.”
“Then why—”
She doesn’t get out another word. I cup her hips and do it for her, turning her toward the mirror before flattening a palm between her shoulder blades and pushing her down with her ass in the air.
“Dante,” she protests. “We’re going to be late.”
“Then we’ll be late.” Using my free hand, I pull up the skirt and hook it over her waist, exposing a lacy thong. “I want to fuck my wife before we go.”