Chapter 45 #3
“That’s why your mother told me she’d given it to you before she passed away in my arms. I wanted her to know she didn’t have to worry about you, that I’d always take care of you.
” His expression is pained. “It was all I could do for her in those last moments—offering her peace. So I confessed my reasons for stealing the necklace. Once she’d heard me out, she didn’t hold back the truth.
She told me she’d taken the necklace and that you knew where it was.
” He pauses. “But she didn’t have a chance to tell me that you were pregnant or what your father had done to you.
She was gone before she could tell me about your plans. ”
I swallow hard, fighting to contain my emotions.
“From the first time I saw you, I knew I was going to make you mine. Do you remember that day in the rain, the first day I was in charge of your security?”
“How can I forget?” I ask through numb lips.
“That’s the day I knew. I waited a few months, and then I approached your father.”
“You approached him?”
“I asked him for a contract.”
“A marriage contract,” I whisper, battling to get my mind around the information.
“Yes, a marriage contract. Your father told me you were destined for someone more worthy of you, so I pledged to prove myself to him. I said I’d bring him something of great value, and he said if I managed to impress him, he’d agree.”
Oh, my God. “Only, he didn’t.”
Hatred turns his eyes hard and cold. “He was impressed, all right. But he wasn’t going to give his only daughter to a man with no power or territory.
He told me he’d already signed a contract with Stein, which would actually add value when it strengthened his own power and wealth.
As for me, he called me an idiot and decided to make an example of me. ”
“So he had Leander kill Lee and took the necklace.”
Dante’s face hardens. “To teach me my place. He thought he’d break me and have a good laugh about it with your future fiancé.”
Shock courses through me. “That’s why you chased me so hard. You wanted to get your own back.”
“No, Tatiana.” He cups my jaw, his hold a little too tight yet perfectly right. “I chased you so hard because I wanted you. It’s always been you, darling.”
I blink. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He drops his hand, releasing me. “In the beginning, I couldn’t.
If you’d known I was using you for information, you would’ve told me to take a hike.
I was going to explain when it was all over, when your father was dead.
If you’d waited for me on that night, if you hadn’t gone to your father and told him you were pregnant, your mother would’ve been alive, and I would’ve told you everything. You and Noah would’ve been safe.”
The pain of old twists me up inside. “Are you blaming me?”
“Blaming you?” He stabs his fingers through his hair. “There’s only one person who can be blamed for everything that’s happened, and that’s me.”
He’s wrong. I too carry my share of the blame. My actions had consequences, and I’ve always believed in owning up to my actions.
His voice is level, but his torment is clear in his amber gaze.
“I knew there was a good chance that you’d never forgive me, but I thought I had time.
I thought I’d have a lifetime to make it up to you.
Only, your mother had gotten into the car when she wasn’t supposed to go with your father, and when I got to the condo, you were gone. ”
“Oh, Dante.” I’m shaking inside, shivering as I recall that tragic night. “Why? Why did you have to deceive me?”
“There was no other way. No matter what kind of man your father was, you wouldn’t betray him knowingly, that’s not who you were or are, and I never would’ve allowed you to carry that guilt. The guilt was supposed to be mine. Only mine.”
I bite back tears. “You had so many opportunities to come clean after you tracked me down in Denver. Why didn’t you tell me the truth then?”
“I tried, many times, but you didn’t want to hear it.”
That’s true. I remember him trying to tell me on several occasions, but I wasn’t ready to listen. I can still see him standing in front of me in the house where I was working, trying to make me understand that I was more than the spoils of war, so much more than I ever could’ve guessed.
You’re not really interested in what I’m saying. No matter what I tell you, you’ll twist it into what you want to believe. When you’re truly ready to listen, we can talk about it again.
And my reply to that? Hell will freeze over before I listen to you.
My mind goes back to that day in the basement when he returned from a trip with the chilling evidence of the men he’d killed for me—a gold ring and tooth.
I asked him why he was so dead set on keeping me.
He told me that he’d been clear about his intention when he’d taken my virginity, and I shot back that I hadn’t known he’d played me.
He said he’d done it for a good reason, for Lee but also for me.
And I refused to believe him when he declared he’d done it to keep me.
“Bullshit,” I said. “I don’t believe you.”
“Believe me or not, there was no other way.”
“Like hell. You didn’t have to go that far.”
“For you? I would’ve gone to the ends of the world, darling.”
“Don’t lie to me more than you already have. It’s never been about me.”
“We’re not going to continue this conversation. I told you you’re not ready to listen to me. We’ll talk again when you are.”
I’ll never forget my reply. My exact words were, “I hate you so much. You have no idea.”
Yes, I was too blinded by hatred to hear him. But now that I’m coming to terms with all the crushing emotions I carried for so long inside me, I’m finally ready to listen.
“Believe me, Tatiana, there’s nothing I wanted more than for you to come to me out of your own free will.” His golden eyes gleam with the darkness that’s so much a part of him. “But I was always going to make you mine, no matter what means I had to use.”
My heart breaks a little more. “I did, Dante. That’s the irony. There was a time when I came to you freely.”
“Until you discovered the man I truly was.” His smile is resigned. “And now you want to leave me again.”
I give a start. “How did you know?”
“I know you. When your memory returned, you hated me all over, even more, if such a thing is possible. I saw the look in your eyes in the hospital. Did you really think I wouldn’t know what was going through your head?”
My heart starts pounding. “Are you going to stop me?”
His smile turns bitter. “No.”
Taken aback, I gape at him. The answer goes against everything he’s done and said up to now. “Don’t you want me anymore?”
His laugh is hollow. “Oh, I want you, Tatiana. Make no mistake. I’ve never stopped wanting you.
But there’s only one thing I want more, and that’s your happiness.
” His lips thin, the strain around his eyes apparent.
It almost seems as if he’s forcing the words out when he speaks again.
“So I’ll give you this. I’ll give you your wish.
You nearly died. Because of me.” He bites out, “Once by the hand of your own father and twice by the hands of others. Multiple times if I count the men who came after you. God knows, you’ve more than earned the right to live your life the way you choose.
” He gets up, his hands balled at his sides.
“I won’t stand in your way any longer. You can have the house if you want it.
Whatever you need, it will be yours. You won’t want for anything for the rest of your life. I’ll make sure of that.”
I get up too, wincing at the pain. “No, Dante. You don’t get to drop that bomb on me and then tell me I’m free to go.”
“Isn’t that what you want?”
“What I want is a husband who likes and accepts me for who I am and not as a pawn to use for his revenge.” Biting my lip, I stare up at his face. “Isn’t that what you’re kind of telling me, that you like me?”
“No.” His jaw bunches. “Not by a long shot.” Reaching out like a flash of lightning, he wraps his fingers around my nape.
“I love you. I’ve never loved anyone but you.
” He releases me as fast as he’s grabbed me.
“There. The truth is yours. Like your freedom, you deserve it. Now it’s best if I go.
If I stay longer, I may break my promise and decide to keep you. ”
Even though it hurts, I go on tiptoes and lean against him. “I’d rather you do.”
Narrowing his eyes, he works his jaw. “Do what?”
“Keep me.”
“Don’t play me, Tatiana. I’m too old for those games.”
“Have I ever played games?”
He puts a hand on my hip, tentatively cupping it. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want a man who loves me, a man who’s worthy of me, and if you’re that man, I’d like to give us a shot. I’m not saying it will be easy, but I’m willing to try if you are.”
His deep voice carries a warning. “There’s no coming back from this. Ever. Do you understand?”
“I understand that I’ll stay if you can show me that you deserve me, and I’ll do the same for you. But there’s one thing we need to be clear about. I won’t be used again.”
He stares into my eyes with emotions churning in his, showing me that he’s not invincible and that if there’s one person with the power to slay him, it’s me.
“Do you mean that, Tatiana Morici?”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “I’ve always loved you, Dante, right from the first rainy day.” When he aims for my mouth, I put a hand on his chest. “Wait. That day in the snow, when I ran into you outside our condo, why were you there?”
His smile is dark. “Why do you think? I was there for you. Who else would I be chasing until my last breath?”
I melt into his arms, letting his warmth seep into me while taking strength from the wall of muscles that promises eternal protection and care.
When he lowers his mouth to mine, this time, I know deep inside it’s right. A vow of such magnitude as the one he’s continuously repeated not only in words but also in actions deserves to be sealed with a kiss.
He traps me against him in the tender but unbreakable cage of his arms, no longer holding back or hiding. Unlike that day in the snow, he doesn’t fight the truth. He lets me feel his desire, a passion that, despite the black years between us, has only grown stronger.
Everything he’s done, good or bad, has proven one thing—that he wants me. I revel in the knowledge that he’s wanted me since the day we’ve met, that I’ve always been the only one. Our relationship has seen some dark times, but underneath the hatred, it stood the test of time.
Dante isn’t an easy man to live with. His love is as dark as his soul. We must be made for each other because my love has always flourished in the dark, even when it hid in my heart’s secret shadows, growing deep roots in the cracks of my broken parts.
And now that it’s finally come into the light, it’s an unstoppable force, no longer simply surviving the man who betrayed me but thriving under his unapologetically morally gray devotion.
I sigh into the kiss before he breaks it and goes down on one knee.
“Tatiana Morici, I promise to make your happiness my life goal. Will you be mine?”
There’s only one answer, but I’ve never given it to him. I’ve told him I loved him, but I’ve never said yes. So I do it now. I give him the answer I owe him. “Yes.”
The look in his eyes is one of fierce possession as he gets to his feet and pulls me back into his arms. “You won’t regret it, not for a moment.”
Burrowing against his broad chest, I smile. “I know.”
Because for the first time for as long as I can remember, I feel whole. It’s one of those profoundly perfect moments I want to trap in a snow globe.
Because now I also know.
As much as I’m forever his, this beautiful, dangerous man will always be mine.