Chapter 9
CAM
A night with no words between us, a whole day with Mom, and a five-hour flight didn’t prepare me for this. Getting home, AJ shutting off his SUV and looking at me like . . .
Like he expects something?
No, that’s not like him.
AJ never expects anything from anyone.
And maybe that’s why I feel like this, like I want to make all his dreams come true.
But he was very clear Saturday night, more than twenty-four hours ago. He said he wouldn’t do it again and that it was no big deal, that kiss . . .
I should be grateful for that. I am grateful, for sure.
“Let me get your bag,” he murmurs, but his voice booms in the silent car.
He doesn’t need to carry anything for me, I’m more than strong enough to lift my little carry-on and suit dust jacket, but I don’t protest either way.
I just stand back while he opens the trunk and puts my belongings on the paved road of my driveway.
When he’s done, when the trunk is closing and it’s time to . . . I don’t know what, that’s when he finally turns to me.
Looking uncharacteristically sheepish and hesitant, he shuffles closer. “Can I hug you?” he asks, adorably.
“You’ve always hugged me and you can always hug me.” The words, so honest and unbridled, jump out of me on instinct.
“Yeah, I know. But this weekend was . . .”
“It was insane.” I confirm for him.
“Yeah.”
Since he doesn’t seem to know what to do, I do it for him, and following the wish he made clear with his words, I step right up to him and make sure it’s not awkward at all when I wrap my arms around him.
It helps that he doesn’t hesitate, that he hugs me just as hard as he always has. And the thing is, it’s not awkward, not at all. It’s so . . . normal.
Too normal maybe.
So I step back after an appropriate amount of time and clap him on the shoulder before reaching for my bag.
“You’ve got some thinking to do.”
“About what?”
I quash the thought that he could think about that kiss, the handholding, us, and instead tell him what I want my words to mean.
“How many years you want with the Warriors.” I remind him of the shitload of work ahead of me. “If you want ten years, then I’m sure—”
“I don’t want ten years,” he blurts out. “I make sure to take care of my body, but I don’t want to still be playing in my forties.”
“So . . . six years?”
“No.” He shakes his head adamantly. “Just tell them five. And if they or I want me to still be here after that, then we’ll deal with it then.”
“How much do you want a year? Should we go for sixty? Sixty-five?” I ask when he shakes his head.
“No, fifty a year, like last time. That’s enough for me to know they still believe in me. I don’t need any more, and that way there’s still space to pay the other guys.”
God, he’s just not greedy enough to be this successful. That’s my AJ, though . . .
No, not my anything.
I clear my throat and nod.
“You got it. I’ll check in with your GM tomorrow and let you know what happens.”
“Thanks, Cam.” He nods once then takes a step back. “Have a good night.”
I refuse to watch him walk away, so I turn at the same time as he does and walk into my house. The slam of the door behind me seems more impactful than it should be, but again, I refuse to think about that.
I’m more determined than ever to get AJ the deal of a lifetime, not only because he’s my client and that’s what I always try to do for any client of mine, but also because he was right about this weekend
Yeah, he badgered me then went ahead and made things even more difficult with that kiss, and then the way he offered me his hand .
. . No matter how determined I am to never think of AJ that way, I know I’ll never be able to forget those feelings of .
. . acceptance, support, and yeah, love.
I learned a lot about myself this weekend and it’s all thanks to him and his crazy idea. So yeah, I want to do right by him.
With that in mind, I call the GM’s office the next day, as soon as I’m out of the shower and have made my way into the office.
AJ has a commercial shoot today, something I made sure his phone would remind him of this morning.
Well, he’s filming like ten commercials actually, but with only one company.
The one he loves that makes the best protein shake ever as far as he’s concerned, so I know I’ll have at least three days to get my head on straight.
The GM gets back to me before I’m even sitting behind my desk, and he seems eager to get a deal done. That bodes well for this negotiation, so I spend the day crafting the first offer we want from the Warriors and only come up for air when I’ve sent it over. Lindsey comes into my office at noon.
“Hey, how was the weekend?” she asks with a smirk, as she makes herself at home in one of the chairs in front of my desk.
“It was great,” I tell her, trying to make it sound like that’s all there is to it—because it is.
“So now you’re ready to get back out there and find your forever love?” She’s not mocking me, not really. Despite her tight-lipped smile, I know she wants the best for me, and for me to find the happiness I’ve been dreaming of all my life.
“I am,” I lie, and I can’t even pretend it’s not a lie.
“Good. Morris called, and we’re taking you out to lunch, so whatever you’re doing can wait. Let’s go.”
I’ve done many stupid things in my life—clearly—but arguing with Lindsey is something I’ve only done once and will never do again, so I put on my good-little-soldier hat and follow her out.
Just like there are a lot of things to hate about LA, there are a lot of things to love, and one of them is the amazing restaurants. All kinds of international food—and authentic too—can be found downtown and just a few blocks away from our offices.
It takes Morris longer to arrive at the little Brazilian steakhouse we love because he’s working on a new movie now and the traffic from the studio—even if it’s only five miles away—is insane.
We have three p?o de queijo waiting for him as well as his virgin Caipirinha, and he doesn’t even say hello before he’s stuffing his face.
I know it’s only a matter of time before they start grilling me about the reunion, about Soren, about—gulp—AJ, but I’m thankful for the reprieve while we accept or deny the skewers with meat and eat in companionable silence.
With a few days of distance, I can see that AJ kissing me on top of the water tower was the most AJ thing ever.
He only did it because he thought it was what I needed in that moment, and there’s little AJ wouldn’t do for a friend.
Hell, he went to Morris’s nephew’s birthday party last year and entertained more than twenty seven-year-olds for five hours.
I know he even enjoyed some of that time, but he was also MIA for three days afterward, just trying to recover.
So when the time comes, when they finally ask what happened in Gomillion, I know they’ll come to the same conclusion as me.
I start off easy, though.
“Soren came right up to us at the very first event.” They both lean in, eyes shining with curiosity. “He said how he was surprised I was showing my face back home.”
“What?” Lindsay demands.
“So he actually doesn’t have a brain,” Morris deadpans.
I laugh at their reactions, loving how supportive they are of me.
“I know. AJ went off on him, saying all these things about how great I am and how I’ve built an incredible life for myself—”
“Good.” Lindsey nods.
“Damn right you have,” Morris almost shouts.
“Anyway, after that I just pulled AJ away and we hung out with my friends the rest of the night.” I take a deep breath because .
. . yeah, here I go. “The thing is, during the second part of the night we were at this bar and . . .” I shift in my seat and hold up a hand pre-emptively. “I got a bit overwhelmed,” I admit.
“Oh my God, did you get drunk?” Morris demands, leaning forward even more.
“No, no.”
“Just spit it out,” Lindsey demands.
“Okay, okay.” Another deep breath.
“AJ noticed and we went outside. I was just moaning about not being over Soren, or over what he did to me, and he was so nice about it.”
“Duh,” Morris deadpans. “It’s AJ.”
“Exactly,” I agree, happy he’s seeing it like I am. “I didn’t want to go back in, didn’t want to go to my mom’s place, so I took him to this spot I used to go to when I was moping, and well . . . AJ kissed me.” I finally blurt it out, rip the band aid off.
“Okay, you’re going to have to fill in the gaps,” Lindsey demands.
So I do. I go through it almost word for word.
“He obviously isn’t attracted to me,” I tell them after I’m done. “He only wanted to comfort me because he’s AJ. There’s nothing AJ wouldn’t do for a friend, you both know how he is.”
Lindsey purses her lips and goes back to her plate, but Morris sighs and leans back in his chair.
“Man, of course AJ would do anything for a friend, and he’s always been a real loyal friend to you, but he’s never kissed you before, has he?
Hell, you got the guy half a billion dollars and he didn’t kiss you when he was a stupid twenty-three-year-old, did he?
If that’s all he was doing, then wouldn’t he have started doing that when he found out you’re gay? ”
I . . . can’t compute.
That’s not—it doesn’t—
Fuck.
“This is a tough one,” Morris continues as if he didn’t just blow up my whole reasoning. “Whatever the reason, AJ’s probably had a hell of a few days trying to figure himself out. You know, accepting that something you thought you knew about yourself isn’t the total truth is hard.”
“Yeah, I know.”
And I swear I do know, but . . .
Not. Thinking. About. It.
Not thinking about it was a stupid as fuck idea.
“Ready?” I ask AJ, but at the same time, I’m mentally telling myself I better be fucking ready for this.
It’s Thursday, and the speed of this deal means it’s probably going to go off without a hitch, but I’ve thought that before and it’s gone to shit, so this better fucking work today.
“Yeah, ’course I’m ready.” His easy smile doesn’t actually help me settle. “I have you.”