Chapter 11 #2
It’s pretty idyllic and I wonder who I would be if I’d grown up here.
Would I be as perpetually happy as AJ is? As easygoing? As kind?
I don’t think I’m a bad or mean person, not by nature, but I’m nowhere near his territory.
I don’t exactly regret where I grew up, or resent my upbringing, Mom made sure I had a happy childhood and every choice open for my future, but the sense of freedom that’s permeating my bones right now is something I suspect still lives inside AJ, even when he’s stuck in traffic like I was dreaming of a little while ago.
We come to one of those hills that has a visible trail going up to a solitary Eastern Cottonwood tree at the top.
It’s only when we’re up there and I have my feet on the ground once more that I notice a basket that was tied to Arthur’s saddle.
“Come on,” AJ says, as he takes Arthur’s reins and leads him to a post a few feet away from the tree. He shows me how to tie Sweetie Pie and then, as easy as breathing, grabs my hand and pulls me to the shade of the tree.
“What is this?” I ask him, scared all of a sudden of what this could mean, what the consequences could be if he’s actually thinking what I suspect he is.
“It’s a picnic,” he says brightly, and lets go of my hand as he puts the basket down, opens the two top little doors, and takes out a .
. . picnic blanket. White and red squares cover about eight feet by eight feet of the grass, and he straightens it quickly then pulls other things out one at a time.
As I watch him arrange everything, I realize it wasn’t fear I was feeling, it was nerves.
AJ makes me nervous in the best of ways, and I can feel myself edging closer to a cliff I won’t be able to climb back up.
“You know it scares me when you think too hard about something.” The amused twinkle in his eye makes my palms sweat with a new anticipation, something so simple and innocent, I don’t think I’ve felt it since I was in middle school.
“Shut up,” I mutter without any heat. But then I take a deep breath.
Get your shit together, Cam. I mentally berate myself, then go sit next to everything he prepared for us.
“When did you put all this together?” I ask as I reach for a peach and bite right in. “Damn, this is good,” I groan with my mouth full, and by his growing smile, he loves it.
I don’t think I’ve ever spoken with my mouth full on a date—which this clearly is, but I’m not going to look too deeply into it—but with AJ everything is easy. Nothing is a big deal, even while everything is.
“I did a bit last night and the rest this morning.” He sits across from me and grabs a water bottle and a piece of cheese.
“It’s nice,” I tell him honestly, though nice isn’t the exact right word. I don’t know what it would be.
“Yeah?” He straightens a little, clearly happy with me, but when his smile falters just a smidge, I realize he’s nervous too.
“Yeah,” I assure him and reach over to pat his hand, then grip it. “Thank you.”
He looks away then shrugs, and that tells me I should probably give him more credit for how he’s been dealing with all of this—way better than I have—and give him a break from being the only instigator.
“I just thought I ought to take you out on a real date now that I’ve kidnapped you.”
I’m attracted to him too, and I love our kisses. My world has also changed in the last week. I do want to date him, and I do have faith that we could be good together.
Thinking about it now, AJ’s switch from friend to something more in my head was also seamless, easy, inevitable, and I definitely should make that very clear to him.
So I scoot right up against him and cup his cheek, looking into those gorgeous eyes that bring a new thrill to my world, and kiss him. Soft and slow, I tease his lips open. I lick at his lower lip, nip it slightly, then finally press hard.
I trace the line where his beard meets his rosy cheeks with my thumbs and just look at him, so handsome, for a moment. And I enjoy it too.
“Thank you,” I whisper, then give him one more kiss. “And you didn’t kidnap me. I’m very happy to be here and that Lindsey could take over for me for a week.”
“I know you’ll still have to work.” The serious tone warms my heart.
No one I’ve ever kissed has spoken seriously about my job.
“I made sure this morning that the office has space for you to set up in there, and the Wi-Fi was updated just this past Spring, so you should be able to have meetings without a problem.”
Another kiss, because he deserves it, because he’s already better than any man before him.
“I do still have to work, but I’m still going to be following you around a lot of the time.”
His boyish smile is possibly the most perfect thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
“I like the idea of you following me around.”
“Good. Get used to it.” I wink at him and then turn, scoot, then lie down so my head rests on his thigh. “Now, how about you feed me some of those grapes.”
“Whatever you want,” he murmurs while looking down at me.
I see what I feel in his eyes.
Is there anything more bright or frightening in the world?
Only the need to breathe makes me pull back and up from AJ.
Making out on the couch has been our go-to for the past couple of days, and I gotta admit it’s really fucking fun, so after I do get that breath back, I’m more than happy when he pulls me right back down and devours my lips.
I feel his hard cock press against my hip and my hips grind down on instinct, because there’s no way I can ignore his erection.
I’ve been doing my best all this time not to go too fast, not to rush things. Just because we know each other so well doesn’t mean we should skip any of the steps in a relationship, right?
But fuck, this is hard.
No pun intended.
I’ve never made out with someone so much. Not even when I was a horny teenager did I act this . . . well, this much like a horny teenager.
“You bring out this new part of me,” I admit without meaning to between kisses.
“What part? The torturer?”
I snort inelegantly against his lips, and I fucking love that he doesn’t mind and instead smiles up at me.
“I’m not torturing you.” He’s definitely exaggerating.
“Yes you are,” he argues, and there’s that pout again. I bite his lower lip with a bit more force than necessary, but it’s justified payback in my opinion. He’s been tempting me way too much, and I’m just trying to look out for us.
When I told him that the first time and he relented, I realized that it would be my only defense against his advances, but honestly, right now I’m not convinced waiting is the right thing anymore.
We spent yet another day out on the horses, having picnics, talking about anything and everything the way we always have, though this time it’s been . . . more.
AJ’s more open with me now, especially about his emotions and not just the facts.
I realize how often in the past he’s put on a brave face because he’s felt he had to, and it breaks my heart a little, but I’ve done the same.
I do the same.
“I’m still your agent, AJ,” I remind him gently. “And of course we can change that if this really works out, but—”
“No, Cam, I’m done with the hypothetical. You and I are happening.”
He sounds angry, and that has me sitting up and looking at him, trying to understand why the sudden change.
“AJ,” I start out, slow and soft. “We need to figure out how we work before—”
“I need air,” he says, shouts really, before throwing his legs off the couch and practically running to the back door. It slams behind him, and I can only sit there, butt on the back of my heels, arms uselessly hanging by my sides.
How did I already fuck this up?