14. Nat #3
I could tell he was a really good uncle with how he cared about everything Jordy said. Apparently, they talked weekly, and Jack seemed to know all about his nephew’s life and what was going on with him at school. Seeing this side of Jack had me warming even more to him. Who knew?
We walked down the main path through the camp, and it was clear Jordy had been here many times before.
He looked so comfortable chatting with Jack.
And Jack was smiling with a child. It was so surprising and at complete odds with how I thought of him.
I was still wrapping my mind around it when I realized I’d missed part of the conversation.
“What’s that, Jordy?” I asked as I tried to catch up.
“Have you had a Sasquatch sighting yet?”
I shook my head, and the ten-year-old gave me an incredulous look. “Not yet, no,” I hedged.
Jordy shook his head but gave me a reassuring look. “Don’t worry, Nat, if I can see him with my family on the drive up here, I’m sure you will too, one day.”
I looked to Jack. A lock of hair obscured his face, but it didn’t hide the corner of his lips tilting up.
“Is that so? Guess we’ll have to keep a lookout.”
Jack and I exchanged an amused glance. We skipped through camp, dodging puddles and enjoying the drizzly day. We spent the morning filming and writing copy for a camp post.
Even after a storm, Camp Starlight shone beautifully.
On the way back, we passed through the meditation meadow, and a fuzzy caterpillar had crawled up the sign.
I took the opportunity to show Jordy how to find light sources and angle the shots.
When we captured the little bug perfectly as it crawled next to droplets of condensation, his excitement was palpable.
Jordy didn’t let up on his barrage of insightful questions until we got back to Jack’s cabin, where we worked on the copy and posted it.
“How about we give the lil’ critter a name?” I offered, thinking of cute post title ideas.
Jordy turned out to be a natural. He put his finger on his chin, like I’d seen Jack do while considering something. “Or maybe we title it Camp Starlight: fuzzy caterpillar approved.”
Jack went to make us all sandwiches while we continued sharing ideas, and by the time he came back, Jordy and I had the post up and were responding to our first comment.
“You’re really good at this, Jordy. Thanks so much for your help,” I said, meaning it. I’d been less inspired the past few days, and his spirit reinvigorated me more than he knew. He was also really good at making me laugh.
Jack sat next to Jordy, who played my compliment off as though it were no big deal. But it was a big deal. Jordy had no idea that because of him, I hadn’t thought about maiming his uncle even once today.
Jordy didn’t argue when I closed the app on my phone a few minutes later. He gently touched my hand and looked into my eyes the way only a kid could. “Thanks, Nat. That was so much fun.”
“Yeah.” Jack smiled at me, and there was no sarcasm detected when he offered his own “Thanks, Nat.”
Jordy told me about his new account, and I tagged him in the post. The request would have to be approved by his parents, but either way, it warmed my heart seeing his eyes light up.
Witnessing Jordy’s love of photography as an artistic expression reminded me of one of the reasons why I chose to do what I did.
I did my activities and met back up with them to eat dinner in the mess hall, before going back to our cabin, where Jack insisted I sit down and rest because my feet were still healing.
Foster came by and picked up Jordy after dinner.
Jack and I sat on the lumpy couch, exhausted and… happy? Yeah. Happy together.
I was still feeling warm when my sister called later that night.
“Hey, Mandy, it’s good to hear from you.” I looked at her beautiful face in our video chat. I could picture her feet kicked up, books stacked up in the space under her coffee table because there weren’t enough bookshelves anymore in her and Sho’s apartment.
My sister lived for learning. She’d always had an academic drive that I’d never had. I’d agreed to get my master’s in marketing and work for my mom’s company, but that was before my passion showed up when I started exploring different places and sharing them with the world.
My sister, however, had had a love of school since kindergarten.
She’d known she wanted to thrive in business, so she did.
Mandy worked hard, and if she made up her mind about something, it happened.
I was just as determined, but all throughout school, I’d had to fight my way through assignments until I’d realized later in life that I had an undiagnosed learning disability.
Mandy was usually unstoppable, but now she also looked a little worn around the edges. That drive and excitement she’d once exuded had been pulled out of her.
I noticed the floral-painted picture on the wall in the background and realized she was calling me from her office and not her home. “Working late again?”
“Yeah, my current project has been kicking my ass a little,” she said, cheeks tinged with embarrassment.
“Mom and Dean should not be pushing you like that,” I inserted, feeling protective.
Mandy shook her head. “It’s not them. My team needs me.” My sister always held herself to ridiculous standards. “Sho’s probably expecting me home by now.”
“Don’t let your soul get crushed by the corporate world.” I tried for a joke, but Mandy’s eyebrows pinched together.
“I’m not like you.” She sounded uncharacteristically defensive. “Mom and Dad work hard. They run a tight ship here, and sometimes they demand a little more than most people can give, but that’s okay. I’m not most people.”
I was surprised by Mandy’s reaction. I hadn’t meant to rile her up. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
But she doubled down, something that surprised me again. “How did you mean it? That I’m somehow just a cog in a machine? Not everyone wants to live your life, Nat.”
My own defenses rose. “Mandy, listen to yourself. I just don’t want to see what happened to me happen to you.” I worried our parents would turn on her the instant she wasn’t their perfect protégé, but she didn’t have to be treated like that. She could still get out of their clutches.
“You left us, remember? And I’m not unhappy with my life.”
Her words felt like a slap, and I wasn’t prepared for the sting. I knew what our parents were capable of, and if they manipulated her, then cut her off abruptly as they did to me, I worried it would destroy her.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t want them taking advantage of you.”
“You don’t get it, Natty. I want them to be able to rely on me, and they should be able to. I’m a project manager, and yeah, it’s been an undertaking, but I can handle it.”
What would a good sister say to that? “Of course, you can, but also, you don’t have to follow in their footsteps.”
My mother was difficult to get along with, unless you fit the exact mold she laid you into, which I’d tried over and over to do.
But over time, I’d learned that there was nothing I could do to make her proud, and when it became apparent that I wasn’t that daughter anymore, I’d been cut off, and Mandy became my mom’s shining star.
“You know what they did to me,” I reasoned.
The prolonged silence had me questioning if Mandy was pulling away. She never really listened to my side of the story, and I always worried about what they’d told her. I could just hear Dean’s voice saying, “Nat chose her passion project over her family.”
Mandy cleared her throat and answered in a neutral tone. “There are two sides to every story.” Ever the diplomat. Maybe she was trying to do peacekeeping, but after I’d tried to reach out last week twice with no reciprocation from my mom, it just felt like a low blow.
“Have you talked to them lately? Did they ask about me?” I asked tentatively.
“No, they haven’t said anything about you lately.” Her voice was a little sad at the admission, and I wished I hadn’t asked. Eventually, I’d have to face my mother, but hopefully, when I did, she wouldn’t bitch-button me again. I realized I hadn’t responded as tears pricked my eyes. “Nat, wait—”
“No, it’s okay, I’ll talk with you soon, all right?” Before she could respond, I hung up the phone and pulled the throw blanket up to my chin.
All my emotions were swirling around. It was like she didn’t believe me.
Her experience with our family was night and day from mine.
And I hadn’t ever questioned if I’d made the right choice for myself by pursuing my dream, but the truth was, I didn’t have the option to be in their lives.
They cut me out and started treating me like the black sheep they were ashamed of, all while teaching my younger sister to follow in their footsteps.
Mandy had their shared ambition, yes, but she was also a kind soul. She was someone who saw the good in people. I didn’t want that to be the thing they crushed.
Thankfully, Jack gave me privacy. I wasn’t ready to go into our room.
I pictured his sweet nephew and the fun day we’d had.
The way Jack smiled at me as if he had reason to.
I’d seen even more of their family. His brother’s jovial demeanor as he joked with his lovely wife, Molly. Everyone laughing and chatting.
What would my family become if Mandy decided to have a child with Shoshanna?
I’d want to be that cool aunt for the kid, even if they were on the East Coast, and with that dream also came the knowledge that I’d have to see my family more. My mom’s disapproving judgment of my life choices. Their disappointed faces and attitudes whenever I tried to be myself.
I let out a longing sigh. Maybe things would be different by the time children came into the picture, but maybe not. Either way, Jack didn’t seem to realize what he had. He was obviously close with his family, and no matter what they’d gone through, he had people who loved him.