21. Jack #3
Tyler from Lamar’s pod was the first of us mud-pitters tagged.
Tyler army-crawled as if he were training for American Ninja Warrior or something.
I was next after Sue came over the hill.
She practically threw the baton at me, and I left Felicia, Nat, and the three other campers behind.
I dove to my stomach and began the arduous crawl, the mud squishing and clinging to me as I made my way to the finish line on a mission.
Tyler was still ahead by a fair bit, and I gave it everything I had, trying to pass Tyler, crawling my heart out.
There was no more time for fantasies or looking back for beautiful counselors.
I focused and held on to the competitive spirit, certain that Nat was right behind me.
Tyler made it to the finish line first, and I was just behind him.
The rest of camp had arrived. My teammates jumped and cheered before taking two large steps back from me, despite my open arms snarkily searching for a muddy group hug. I cracked up at their looks of disgust. Their loss.
Then Nat was there, covered in mud and gorgeous.
I couldn’t help it. I was just drawn to her, and I hated how we’d left things last night.
Hatred and competition were familiar defining characteristics in our dynamic, but now, there was another layer to it, a new distance between us that I didn’t like.
Last night, I’d witnessed Nat’s moment of clarity that, more than ever before, I wasn’t someone she wanted to be around.
The tender openness she’d tentatively shared with me before had closed down.
When she had turned away from me, I hadn’t pressed it because I was giving her space.
But it still hurt more than I expected. I wanted to hear her voice, even if it was just to curse me out for the assumptions I’d made and the way I’d made her pay for them every day since.
I was captivated as she sliced through that mud pit. It was hard to ignore the determination in her gaze as she exhibited the same grit that I had. I couldn’t help but cheer for her anyway.
Just yesterday, I’d been convinced she’d deserved everything I was putting her through. But today, everything shone in a new light. Nat hadn’t known, and now I had to account for the very real fact that my actions had hurt her. I felt awful.
Nat celebrated her third-place win with her pod, and I hurried my ass to the dock.
I didn’t need to be on it again, covered in mud with her.
So, after an obligatory jump to rinse mud off my body, I tried not to linger on the last time I’d jumped into this lake.
Or the fact that Nat would be jumping in right behind me.
I had the urge to pull her off to the side and apologize, but there were too many people around, and I’d see her tonight in our cabin.
I went back to my cabin to truly clean myself.
My mind was blissfully blank as the warm water cascaded down my limbs in a much-welcome reprieve.
My arms were tired from working on the siding for Nat’s cabin all day, then doing the arduous mud crawl.
I let the heat soothe me as I efficiently scrubbed myself.
I smiled as I reached into the linen closet and found it organized, the towels rolled as if we were in a hotel.
It was then that I took a look at the bathroom and how much it had changed. A Hawaiian pink shower caddy hung off a hook behind the door. Her toothbrush and toothpaste, the hair clip she’d worn yesterday, and some makeup brushes were all neatly arranged on the counter.
She was everywhere in this cabin, even though she had yet to step inside it tonight. I wondered if she’d come back here to clean up after the mud crawl, but she must have showered and changed at one of the communal bathrooms.
Dinner was an exhausting game of half listening to Felicia’s animated story about a lock-picking adventure with a friend after they’d semi-stalked the quarterback of their high school football team and dropped her keys in his gym bag.
Did I know why they’d ended up in his gym bag?
No. Really, I was just looking for Nat. After an hour of this, it became obvious that Nat must have grabbed a prepared adult Lunchable and decided to eat somewhere else.
After leaving the mess hall, I played a fun game I liked to call how many minutes have passed since I last looked at the clock?
while waiting for her to come back home.
I was antsy to clear the air between us and caught myself opening her social media account to kill more time.
I wished I could have said this was my first perusal, but the truth was, ever since she’d lit my nephew up like a happy little hellion by following him, I’d been pulling up her account more and more.
Naturegirlnat had been easy to find, and she’d even posted the photos that she and my nephew had taken together during his visit last weekend.
By the time I’d caught myself smiling like a dumbass at my phone, again, I decided it’d be best to get out of this cabin. What was taking her so long? Dinner was over. Her activity was over. Where was she?
Standing on my porch, I breathed deeply and took in the warm evening before I meandered around camp.
I walked toward the craft cabin and saw a light on.
Bingo. She may not have expected an apology, but I wasn’t going to let this night pass us by without having said my piece.
I would go back to giving her space if she preferred it that way, after apologizing.