Chapter 10 #3
“Come on,” Joshua said. “There’s a smaller room down the hall.”
They disappeared into the hallway.
Ben was standing near Colin, fidgeting with his notebook. “Um. Is now okay? To talk?”
“Absolutely,” Colin said. “Let’s find somewhere we can chat.”
They ended up in the outer office—a cramped space with a desk buried under paperwork, a filing cabinet that looked like it hadn’t been opened in years, and a worn couch that sagged in the middle. Colin gestured to the couch, and Ben sat down, clutching his notebook to his chest.
Colin pulled over Kyle’s desk chair and sat across from him. “So. Coming out.”
Ben nodded. “I just... I don’t know if I can do it. Like, I want to. But I’m scared.”
“That’s normal,” Colin said. “Coming out is terrifying. Even when you’re pretty sure your parents will be okay with it, there’s always that fear that they won’t be.”
“What if they’re not okay with it?” Ben asked, his voice small. “What if they kick me out?”
Colin’s chest tightened. “Do you think they will?”
Ben hesitated. “I don’t know. They’re... religious. Not, like, crazy religious. But we go to church every Sunday. And I’ve heard my dad say stuff about gay people before. Nothing, like, violent. But... not good.”
“Okay,” Colin said slowly. “So, here’s the thing.
You don’t have to come out right now. You don’t have to come out until you feel safe.
Hell, you don’t have to come out until you’re living on your own.
It’s totally your call! And if you don’t think your parents will react well, then maybe you wait.
Maybe you build a support system first—friends, teachers, people like Kyle—so that if coming out to your folks doesn’t go as well as you’d like, you’re not alone. ”
Ben nodded, blinking rapidly.
“But,” Colin continued, “if you do decide to tell them, here’s what I want you to know: You are not responsible for their reaction.
You’re not responsible for managing their feelings or making them comfortable.
You’re just telling them the truth about who you are.
And if they can’t handle that, that’s on them. ”
“But what if they kick me out?” Ben asked again.
“Then you call Kyle,” Colin said. “He’ll help you figure it out. There are resources—youth shelters, LGBTQ+ organizations, legal protections. You won’t be alone.”
Ben’s hands tightened around his notebook. “I don’t want to lose my family.”
“You probably won’t,” Colin told him, his voice forceful.
“Most parents don’t react the way kids fear they will.
They may not be jumping for joy at first, but they’ll still love you.
But I also want you to know that family isn’t just the people you’re born to.
Family is also the people who show up for you.
The people who love you for who you are.
And if your parents struggle with your gay identity at first, then you’ll build a new family.
A chosen family. And in time, your folks may come to accept you for who you are. ”
Ben looked down at his notebook, then back up at Colin. “Do you think they’ll be okay with it?”
“I don’t know,” Colin said honestly. “I don’t know them, so it’s hard for me to gauge how they’ll respond.
Most parents come around eventually, and even become big supporters of the LGBTQ life.
But, here’s an idea: You could invite your folks here to the Community Center and have your ‘coming out’ conversation with Kyle there, too.
He could be your support system and also be there to reassure your folks and answer any questions they might have. ”
Ben nodded, lifting his head to meet Colin’s eyes. “I never thought of that! Of having Kyle there, too. That’s a great idea.”
“Set it up before you leave, okay? You don’t have to go through any of this alone.”
Ben blinked hard, then nodded. “Thanks, Colin.”
“You’re braver than you think,” Colin said quietly. “Just don’t forget it.”
Down the hall, Joshua and Emilio sat in a small meeting room just off the main meeting area, with a table and four chairs. Emilio was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, jaw set.
“So,” Joshua said. “Your friend. The one who’s using.”
Emilio nodded.
“How long has this been going on?”
Emilio shrugged. “I don’t know. A few months, maybe? He’s been acting weird. Skipping practice. His grades are tanking. And I saw him with some older guys who... I don’t know. They looked sketchy.”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
“Yeah. He says he’s fine. But he’s not fine. I can tell. And can’t get him to stop.”
“You’re right,” Joshua said. “You can’t stop him. But you can make sure he has access to help. You can tell an adult—a parent, a coach, a school counselor—so that they can be aware and possibly intervene.”
“But then he’ll know I snitched.”
“He might,” Joshua said. “And he might be pissed. But he’ll be alive. And alive and pissed is better than dead.”
Emilio looked away. “What if it doesn’t work? What if they try to help and it doesn’t work?”
“Then at least you tried,” Joshua said.
Emilio was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, “His name’s Connor. He’s on the football team with me. And I think... I think he’s using pills. Oxy, maybe. Or something like that.”
“Okay,” Joshua said. “Do you know if his parents know?”
Emilio shook his head. “I don’t think so. His dad’s... He’s kind of intense. I don’t think Connor would tell him.”
“What about your coach? Do you trust him?”
Emilio hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. Coach is good. He cares about us.”
“Then start there,” Joshua said. “Talk to your coach. Tell him what you’ve seen. He’ll know what to do next.”
Emilio looked down at his hands. “What if Connor hates me?”
“He might,” Joshua said. “At least for a while. But you know what? If he gets clean, he’ll thank you later. And if he doesn’t get clean, at least you’ll know you tried. A mad friend is better than a dead one.”
Emilio nodded slowly. He didn’t look happy, but he looked like he’d made a decision.
“OK,” he said. “I’ll talk to Coach tonight, as soon as I get home.”
“Good,” Joshua said. “And Emilio? If you need to talk, if you need advice, if you just need someone to listen, call Kyle. He’ll be there for you.”
Emilio nodded again, then stood and headed for the door.