Chapter 37
THIRTY-SEVEN
“Thank you for doing this one with me,” I say to Dakota as the group of local elementary students line up for a tour of the Hall of Fame. It’s my first day back working after being locked in the hype room. I’m already a mess from last night and the idea of being in there by myself again is scary.
“Of course. These guys might look little but trust me, it’s going to take two of us plus their teacher to keep them in line.” She gives me a reassuring smile and steps forward and introduces herself.
I fall back and let her do the majority of the talking.
I’m not feeling particularly chatty, but I answer questions and help keep the kids from wandering off.
It’s a totally different experience than the recruits get, less focused and more about letting the kids walk around awestruck by catching glimpses of college athletes working out or walking around campus.
They look up to them like celebrities and it’s pretty heartwarming.
But since it’s less intense than our recruit tours, I’m able to fade into the background, and today I’m extremely thankful for that.
When we walk into the hype room, Dakota goes first, the kids follow, and I bring up the end of the line.
She glances to me as I enter. I nod to let her know I’m okay.
Maybe the anxiousness I thought I’d feel coming in here again is dulled by the deep aching pain I’ve had since I walked out of Heath’s apartment last night, but I’m able to stand and watch the video without panicking.
It’s a generic video, encompassing all sports, but since hockey is such a big deal at Valley, there are still lots of times that Heath’s face splashes on the screen.
Each and every time it feels like someone’s pouring alcohol into an open wound.
I’m sad and mad, flipping between the two so frequently even I don’t know which one is the prominent emotion.
Does he really think we can keep dating like nothing happened?
Even if I could get over the idea that he doesn’t feel the same, and likely never will, I’d be a wreck waiting for the day he freaked out again or decided to move on.
There’s really only two ways a relationship can go, and he took one of those options away.
When you know how something is going to end, it’s harder to enjoy the moment.
As the video stops on the final frame, a drone shot overhead of campus, the kids’ faces are lit up with joy and wonder. I step to the door so I can be the first out.
Dakota and I take them to the football field and let them loose to run around in the big, open space.
“How was it?” she asks as we stand on the fifty-yard line.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the same about that room, but it was okay.”
“Listen, I’ve got it from here. Take off, go see Heath, or go lay in bed and cry… whatever you need to do.”
“You’re sure?”
“Definitely. Five more minutes of them sprinting up and down the field and I can hand them back to their teacher.”
I hug her. “Thank you.”
I take off for my dorm with the intent of trying to nap. Needless to say, I spent last night tossing and turning, so I’m not only emotionally exhausted, but physically too. However, as soon as I fall into my bed and pull up the covers, I get a 911 text from Reagan.
I get back up and trudge across campus. I find her in the back of the theater in their dressing room. Her hair is in curlers and she’s wearing her green silky robe.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“Ms. Morris fell and broke her wrist. She’s out and now I don’t have anyone to do my makeup. Can you help? We have our dress rehearsal in thirty minutes.”
I’d gotten the first part from her text message and had come prepared to do her makeup, but dress rehearsal? The look on her face is pleading, though, so I suck it up. “I’ve never done stage makeup like that, but I can try.”
“Thank you!”
The dressing room in the theater is a large open room with a long counter that extends on two walls with lighted mirrors. Stools are around the room in disarray. Some tucked under the counter, others have clothes and makeup bags on them, and the rest are occupied by girls as they get ready.
Reagan sits; her cosmetics litter the space in front of her. “So, what happened with Heath? Dakota heard from Rhett that Heath was not looking great at their morning skate.”
I set down my backpack and add my makeup to the counter. “It was a very long night after you left.”
I fill her in while I add primer to her face.
“All of this happened last night? And you haven’t heard from him since?”
“Ava said he came by the dorm looking for me.”
She smiles and tries to shoo me off. “Go. I can do my own face.”
“No way. I’ve got you. Let’s just talk about something else.”
“Okay. Like what?”
“Like how nervous I am right now.”
“What? Why? You’ve done my makeup lots of times. It always looks great.”
“But the lights and the people…” My hands tremble. “I’m nervous and I’m not even the one who has to go out there.”
Her sweet laughter relaxes me. “It’s only a dress rehearsal.”
As I work, she studies the script in front of her. I’ve heard her running lines with Dakota enough that I know she’s already got it memorized, but I decide it’s best not to mess with whatever process she has.
When she finally looks up, I’m ready to add another coat of mascara.
“Oh, wow, Ginny.”
“Is it too much?”
“It’s amazing.” She turns her face to look at each side more closely. “You’re a miracle worker.”
“I don’t know about that but thank you.” Mascara wand in hand, I tell her, “Look down.”
Instead of heading back to my dorm or going to class, I stay for the rehearsal.
The play is a modern take on A Christmas Carol, and Reagan plays the Ghost of Christmas Present.
The green gown she wears could have been made specifically with her in mind.
She looks exquisite. That’s my first thought, but the longer she’s on the stage, the more I fall into her character.
I smile as the clock strikes midnight, she bows her head and slowly walks backward until she disappears behind the curtain.
After the rehearsal, she comes down off the front of the stage and finds me in the third row.
“What did you think?”
I pull her into a tight hug. “You are so talented, Reagan.” I let her go to look her in the eye, so she knows how much I mean it, and then I hug her again.
A woman who’d been sitting in the row ahead of me turns and walks toward us.
Her blonde hair is pulled up into a tight bun and she wears red-framed glasses that she takes off when she reaches us.
She has an air of sophistication and also looks like she might cut a bitch if necessary.
“Really well done, Reagan. You found the lighting up there really well.” She steps closer and inspects my friend’s face.
“Your makeup…” She makes a little humming noise in her throat. “Who did you use?”
“Oh, uh, I did it. I’m sorry if it isn’t—”
“It looks amazing,” she assures me. She tips her head to Reagan. “It needs to be a little darker to read at the back of the house, but it suits you. Great job today. See you tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Dr. Rossen.”
When she’s gone, Reagan grabs my hand and squeals. “You did it.”
“That woman is scary. Who is she?”
“She’s the director.”
“Well, she is not someone I want to cross.”
“She’s made more than one person cry since she took over last year. Come on, let me buy you coffee as a thank you.”
We stay on campus and go to University Hall. It’s busy with a late afternoon rush, but we order from the café and find a small table near the door.
“I’m so relieved that’s over.”
“Don’t you have two real shows this weekend?”
“Yes, but the rehearsal is the only time I really get nervous. It’s harder to be on when you’re staring out into an empty theater.”
“I so don’t get that.”
She smiles. “Thank you again. You might have been fleeing the Heath situation, but it benefited me greatly.”
“Anytime.” I take a sip of my coffee. “So, are we going to talk about that thing you said last night?”
She looks down to the table. “I was hoping we could pretend I never said a peep.”
“Like you’ve been trying to pretend you don’t have a thing for my brother all semester?”
“Longer than that,” she mumbles.
I’m grinning ear to ear when she finally looks up at me. “I think you should go for it. He and Taryn are done for good. She’s transferring at the end of the semester. Now’s your shot.”
“I don’t know. Now that you and I are so close, wouldn’t it be weird?”
I consider it for a few moments. “No, I don’t think so. Not unless we make it weird.”
“It’s probably not even worth worrying about. Honestly, he hasn’t noticed me in the three years we’ve known each other. I don’t think he sees me like that.”
“Only one way to find out.”
“Listen to you, dishing out advice while you’re hiding from your boyfriend.”
“I’m not hiding… I’m giving us some time to breathe.”
“And?”
“I prefer breathing his air.”
I turn my phone on silent, stuff it in a desk drawer, and bury myself in schoolwork all afternoon.
I don’t allow myself to think about anything else.
That is until a pounding on my door breaks my concentration.
My heart is in my throat waiting for Heath’s voice on the other side, but it’s Adam that calls, “Ginny, open up.”
I scramble off my bed and fling the door open. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I’ve been calling you all day.”
“Oh, uh, I turned my phone on silent while I caught up on schoolwork. What’s up?”
“I heard about last night.”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah, oh that.” He moves my books out of the way and sits on my bed. “I’m sure it’s payback for meddling in your relationship with Heath, but I still can’t believe you went to so much trouble to get Taryn and me back together.”
Oooooh, right. That.
I sit and pull my pillow into my lap. “I know I overstepped. I thought you were having a reaction to Mom and Dad and I wanted to help. You’ve always looked out for me and I wanted to do the same for once.”
“Taryn said as much.”
“Are you mad?”
“No, I get it.”
“I’m sorry about you and Taryn.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“On the plus side, I know lots of girls who will be thrilled you’re single again.” One in particular, but that’s not my secret to tell.
His chest lifts and falls with a quiet chuckle. “I think I’m going to try being single for a change. With everything going on, I think the universe might be sending me a sign.”
“Single, huh? I can’t picture it.”
“Me neither.” He leans so his back rests against the concrete wall.
“I don’t think I’m doing as well with Mom and Dad as I thought either.
I came back and threw myself into making plans with our friends because I wanted so badly to pretend everything was normal.
But it’s not. I think it’s going to be weird for a while no matter what.
Plus, uh, Heath and I are… I don’t even know. ”
“Yeah, that’s actually why I’m here, but I figured that wouldn’t get me in the door.”
“You know?”
“One look at Heath this morning and I think we all knew something was up. Wanna tell me what happened?”
“The short version? He overheard me telling you that I loved him, freaked out, told me love was bullshit, and I ran.”
“Why did you run? That’s not like you.”
“Because I was embarrassed. Do you know what it’s like to tell someone you love them and have them not return the sentiment?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “But I’m sure I’ve had a lot of people say it and not mean it. It’s a risk either way.”
“You know, I never thought about it before, but you’re like the bravest person I know. You jump from girlfriend to girlfriend—”
He groans.
“Let me finish.” I punch his leg. “You keep putting yourself out there no matter how many times it doesn’t work. Maybe it’s a little excessive, but definitely brave.”
He rubs at the back of his neck. “Well, I guess that’s one way to look at it.”
We fall silent and I lean my head on his shoulder. The alarm on his phone sounds and I sit straight.
“I gotta go,” he says. “Are you coming to the game?”
“I’m not sure. Probably.”
“It’s funny how even when you’re pissed, you can’t help but show up to support him.”
“It’s you I’m supporting.”
“Mhmmm.”
I roll my eyes.
“Are you gonna be okay?” He stops at the door and regards me seriously.
“Yeah, I will.” I blow out a breath. “I was perfectly happy with our fun, college fling until he found out I love him. Freaking love.”
He scrunches up his face. “And on that note, I’m out.” He opens the door and winks back at me. “Later, G.”