Chapter 43
FORTY-THREE
The guys are kicked back in Nathan’s room, a bottle of Jack on the table between them.
“Couldn’t spring for something a little nicer?” I ask as I take a seat next to them and pour myself a glass.
“Old school, Baby Payne,” Joel says. “It was this or Everclear, and I don’t think Chloe would appreciate your brother passing out before the ceremony.”
Nathan wears a sheepish smile as he tips back another small sip. A knock at the door gets him to his feet.
“Linc,” Nathan calls as he holds the door wide and my boss walks in.
I stand to greet him as well with a hug. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” He steps back and looks me over. “How’ve you been?”
“Good. Great.”
“He met a girl,” Nathan says as if that clarifies why everything is great. I guess it does.
“Man, I hand you over to Wally for weekly check-ins and I miss all the good gossip.”
When I first started working with Lincoln and his sports coaching website, we talked weekly.
I reported directly to him. But the busier he’s gotten, the less frequent our calls have been.
I’m also pretty certain that the only reason I was reporting to him was so he had an excuse to check in on me.
I’d like to think he and Nathan have finally started to trust that I can take care of myself and are giving me more credit.
“Is Keira here too?” Nathan asks. “She killed it at the tournament last weekend.”
“She is.” He beams with pride talking about his pro-golfer wife.
The room becomes a back and forth of questions and cross conversations as everyone catches up. When Nathan gets up to get another bottle of liquor, I follow him.
“Hey, I have something for you.”
“Yeah?” He abandons the bottle on the wet bar and takes the box I hold out for him.
“Wrapped it myself,” I say as he pulls back the flaps of a battered box I re-used from my collection of care packages he’s sent.
Grinning, he pulls the items from the box. Gum, breath mints, sunscreen, condoms, earplugs.
“What is all this?” he asks with a chuckle and holds up the earplugs.
“A little honeymoon care package from me to you. Those are for Chloe so when she’s tired of your shit, she can tune you out.”
“Thank you.”
I take out the smaller gift from my pocket. “Your real present.”
He tears off the white paper and a ghost of a smile pulls one side of his mouth. “Is this—”
“Yeah, it’s the same cologne Dad wore. I was walking through the store and the scent just hit me. I don’t expect you to wear it. I thought you might like to have a reminder… especially today.”
His hug is unexpected and tight. It takes me a moment to return the gesture, but when I do, there’s a feeling like Dad’s really here with us, or at least looking down and watching.
Thirty minutes before the wedding is scheduled to start, we put on our tuxes and prepare to head down.
“Yo, Heath, can you do me a favor?” Nathan approaches me, looking sharper than I can ever remember seeing him. “I need to give Chloe her wedding gift before the ceremony, but I’m not supposed to see her.”
I take the present covered not in wrapping paper, but in college-ruled notebook paper with his writing all over it. I give it a little shake. “What is it?”
“It’s not for you.” He blushes and now I really want to know what’s inside. “Can you get it to her or not?”
“Yeah, of course.”
I find the girls’ suite and knock. When it swings open, my heart squeezes in my chest. “Holy shit, babe.”
“Heath.” Ginny looks around. “What are you doing?”
I’m still staring slack-jawed. Listen, Ginny, on an average day, is a knockout.
She’s generally casual—not a lot of makeup, hair straight or pulled away from her face in a braid…
she doesn’t need all the extra stuff to be the hottest girl I’ve ever seen, but right now…
hair in big waves, eyes lined with black, wearing a dress that pushes her boobs up and shoes that make her legs look twice as long…
“Heath?”
I shake my head. “Fuck, you look… fuck.”
She giggles. “You look nice too. I’ve been waiting for this day.” She runs a hand along the lapel of my jacket. “You in a tux is really something.”
“Yeah?” I step into her. “I’m starting to see the appeal of weddings.”
“What’s that?”
“Open bar and a night of fun while I try to figure out how to sneak you away without anyone noticing.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Five-minute warning!” someone yells from inside the room.
“Can you give this to Chloe? I don’t want to go in there. It looks like a bomb went off.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you down there.”
She turns, but I catch her wrist and pull her back to me, taking her lips in a much quicker kiss than I’d like. Someday I’m gonna marry that girl, but today it’s all about Nathan and Chloe.
The guys and I head down first. The hotel restaurant has a huge patio that extends out onto the beach and there are flowers everywhere. In pots, hanging from the doorway, lining the wall. It’s nuts.
People are seated and waiting for the ceremony. The other groomsmen bring Chloe’s mom and grandparents up the aisle.
“What do you say?” I hold out my arm for my mom. Her eyes are already glassy. She’s for sure going to cry, probably in the first thirty seconds. She lets out a breath and flutters her lashes a few times as if she’s trying to stop the tears.
Turning to Nathan, she regards us both. “I’m so proud of the both of you. If your dad were here, he’d give some speech about baseball or fishing that somehow related back to life, but since he’s not, you’re going to have to make do with the girl version.”
“Which is?” Nathan asks, hands in his pockets.
“Just be happy. Life’s too short.” Her eyes are tear-filled again, but she smiles. “He loved you two more than anything and so do I.”
Nathan leans forward and kisses her cheek. “I love you too, Mom.”
She slips her arm in mine and lets out a long breath. “Okay, ready.”
I guide her up the aisle and to the groom’s side. Ginny’s sitting two rows behind the family. I shoot her a wink as we pass. Kevin stands from his seat when we approach.
We shake hands, and he smiles at Mom. He’s a good guy and I’m coming to enjoy having him around. If nothing else, I know he’s been good for Mom.
Today is one of those happy days when I can practically read Mom and Nathan’s thoughts, all of us wishing Dad was here for our own selfish reasons. It’s moments like these that will always remind us our family looks different now.
She squeezes my arm and then slips hers out to take her seat next to Kevin.
“Mom, wait.” Her brows raise as she looks to me expectantly.
“I love you.” My chest aches with emotion. Fuck, maybe I’m going to cry today, too.
Her eyes well with tears again and this time, one slips down her cheek.
I’ve waited too long to say the words to her, but I mean them now in a way I didn’t before.
Acceptance, forgiveness, or maybe it just took me growing the fuck up.
She hugs me tightly. I clear the lump from my throat and take my place at the front.
As the processional music starts and all eyes go to the back, mine go to Nathan, my mom, and then Ginny—my family.
I couldn’t imagine life without them. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.
Maybe it’s not supposed to mean the same thing to everyone or maybe it is and it’s about finding someone whose meaning matches yours.
I don’t plan on giving it a lot more thought.
It is what it is and that’s good enough for me.
Ginny glances at me and it hits me in the gut, like it does every single time she’s near. Our love matches, plain and simple, and it’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
Life is short. Be happy and enjoy every moment.
Thank you so much for reading Secret Puck.