Chapter 5
FIVE
Today is the day! Seize it. Grab it by the balls!
You know all those cliché sayings? OWN them.
The world is your oyster! Scared to start a new job?
DO IT ANYWAY. Letting fear stop you from asking out your crush?
PUH-LEEZE. Who could say no to you? Whatever has been weighing on your heart, go for it!
Today is the day!!! I tossed and turned all night trying to decide how to tell Adam, or if I should tell him, but this morning’s horoscope couldn’t be any clearer.
There will always be a reason not to tell him.
Lots of really good reasons. Like, he might not feel the same and break my heart.
They are called crushes for a reason after all.
We’re all going out tonight to The Hideout and I’m going to do it. I am! Probably. Hopefully. No, definitely! I pack tissues and wear waterproof mascara in case it goes badly and wear my favorite panties in case it goes very, very well.
“Are you almost ready?” Dakota calls from the living room. She’s always ready before me. Fifteen minutes tops. She’s so confident in her choices, so unlike me, who changed five times before deciding on my favorite jeans and a cropped sweater.
“Two minutes,” I yell back. “Is Ginny riding with us?”
“No, she went ahead with the guys.”
I shove my lipstick and mascara into my giant purse and take one last look in the mirror. “Seize the day,” I mumble under my breath.
The Hideout is a local restaurant and bar. It’s the guys’ hangout on nights they want to get out without worrying about kicking people out of their place at a decent time.
Get in, have a drink, talk to Adam, and then… we’ll see.
It’s loud and packed as we push through the bar area. The hockey team is at their usual table. Ginny stands from her seat next to Heath and throws her arms around my neck.
“You made it.” She hugs me and then Dakota. “I saved you both a seat.”
Maverick moves his legs off the two chairs. “Kota, Rea, looking great as always.”
Dakota slides in beside him and then I take the other chair. The pitcher is passed our way and the waitress brings extra glasses. I glance around, looking for Adam.
“What’s wrong?” Ginny asks.
I’m still sitting here, the pitcher and an empty glass in front of me.
“Do you want something besides beer? I can grab the server.”
I stop her. “No. Beer is fine. I was just wondering where Adam is.”
“Sulking,” Ginny says at the same time Rhett says, “Hiding from girls.”
“That too,” Ginny agrees. “He’s at the bar.”
“Sulking about what?” I pour a drink and try not to sound too interested. Ginny and Dakota know about my crush, obviously, but the rest of the group gives me a pass and at least pretends not to know.
“There’s this scholarship. He thought it was a sure thing…” She waves her hand around. “He’s fine. I think it’s just everything with our parents, plus the breakup, and now this. He’s had a lot going on and you know how broody he can get.”
I do know. Although I’ve never known him to sulk and hide at the bar. My stomach sinks. Here I am ready to dump more on his lap when all he seems to need is a friend.
“I think I’ll go check on him and buy another pitcher for the table.”
I fiddle with my hair and calm my nerves as I weave through tables and groups of people standing around to get to the bar.
I follow it around all the way to the far-right corner before I spot Adam.
He’s positioned behind a pole and the cash register stand where all the servers work.
The perfect cover for a guy of his size.
Even so, he has two girls standing nearby sneaking glances.
They’re angled toward him, smiling, completely oblivious to his body language.
It’s easy for me to tell that he isn’t happy to have been found.
Elbows on the bar, his eyes are downcast into his beer.
I second-guess adding to his harem, but he glances over and spots me. A slow smile spreads across his face and he sits tall. “Reagan.”
I step between him and the girls. “Hiding out over here?”
“Just didn’t feel like chatting.”
“Right. Of course.” That includes you, dummy. “I’m just grabbing a pitcher for the table and then I’ll leave you be.”
“Stay. I don’t mind talking to you.” He leans forward to speak to the girls on the other side of me. They’re standing instead of sitting on the stool in front of them. “Can we grab that seat?” he asks. Then, without waiting for their answer, pulls it closer.
The brush of his shoulder against my arm and the scent of his body wash does funny things to my stomach.
“Thank you.” I sit and place my glass on top of the bar. “Is everything okay?”
“Tired, have a lot on my mind. Basically, I’m shit company tonight, but the guys wouldn’t let me stay home.”
“Anything I can help with?”
“You’ve already helped.” He tips his head toward the girls on my other side. They’ve turned their attention to another broody-looking guy at the bar.
“Using me to avoid girls again?”
“Not my intent, but also not a terrible idea.”
“Is it really so awful having so many girls vying for your attention?”
“No, of course not. I love girls and attention. Falling into something new would be as easy as breathing. It’s my cycle. Trying to break it is much harder. Plus, I really do have a lot going on. Seems unfair to bring someone into that. And I suck at hookups.”
“Maybe the next girl you date will be the one.”
“Maybe.” He snorts.
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“I’m not sure of anything anymore.” He takes a long pull from his beer. “Maybe the one is a myth.”
“I don’t think I ever said it, but I’m sorry about your parents splitting. That’s tough.”
He nods. “Are your parents divorced?”
“Never married, but I’m not close to my parents like you are with yours.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I don’t talk about them much.” I shrug. “Dakota’s more family to me than anyone else.”
He smiles. “I get that. You two are close.”
“So, what else is going on with you? The thing with your parents happened months ago so that can’t be the only reason you’re over here brooding.”
“It’s this scholarship for medical school. They’ve narrowed it down to me and one other person. We have to go to these two events with the committee before they decide.”
“Nerve-wracking.”
“Yeah, no kidding. And if I wasn’t already worried, I told the head of the committee I was bringing a date. And you know how I feel about those right now.”
“Couldn’t Ginny go?”
“No, I already tried that. Heath’s friend Lincoln is coming into town tomorrow night and they made plans. And I got a tip that the committee might be looking for someone who’s settled down.”
“Settled down? You’re in college. Seems a little old-fashioned.”
“Right? I know. It’s probably not a big deal, but—”
“You don’t want to risk losing because of that.”
“I need that scholarship.”
“But you also really don’t want to go on a date right now.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m struggling to feel sorry for you on the dating front,” I say. He cuts me a playful glare. “I’m sorry, but just pick someone you trust and try not to make too big of a deal of it. It’s just a date.”
Slowly, he nods. “Yeah, you’re right. Fuck. Thanks for listening to me bitch and moan and then telling me to get over myself.”
I smile. “Is that what I did?”
“You did, and I appreciate it. Do you want to order a pitcher and join the group?”
“Sure.”
We make small talk while the bartender gets the pitcher. I thank her and stand. I thought he’d meant we’d both go, but Adam doesn’t move from his stool. “Aren’t you coming?”
“Nah. Go have fun. I’m gonna finish this beer and then grab a ride home. I’ve got a date to find. Thanks, Rea.”
I pause, then finally force my feet to move. So much for seizing the day. Looks like I’ve seized it for someone else.
I’m still up, sitting in the living room long after we get back from the bar.
Dakota’s in bed, so I keep the volume low on the TV.
I’m only half paying attention anyway. My thoughts of Adam are interrupted only by my worries about the play.
Cast announcements are in a few days and I don’t have a good gut instinct about it.
A light knock at the door pulls me from the TV. It’s so faint I think it might be at the guys’ place until it comes again.
I get up and walk to the door quietly, then peek out the peephole to find Adam on the other side. Dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt, his feet are bare, and his hair looks like he’s been running his fingers through it.
I glance down at my outfit, decide there’s no time to change, and open the door. “Adam, hey. What are you doing here?”
“I wondered if I could talk to you? I know it’s late. Did I wake you?”
“No. I was up. Come in.”
He pads in a few steps and stops. Adam Scott is in my apartment. I can count the number of times he’s been here on one hand and never when it was just the two of us.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I ask and we stand awkwardly in the space between the living room and kitchen.
“No, I’m good.”
“Okay, well then, do you want to sit?”
I get a glass and pour water from the tap, mostly to give myself something to do. Adam sits on the couch next to the spot I just vacated.
“Were you studying?”
“No.” I take a seat and fold my legs up underneath me. “I’m a night owl. Late-night TV is like comfort food for me.”
“I prefer ice cream.” He rests his hands on his knees. “I apologize for barging in, but I couldn’t sleep, and I had an idea. What if you were my date to the mixer tomorrow night?”
“What?” I spill the water, curse, then set it on the coffee table. “Are you serious?”
Excitement and disappointment take turns soaring through my body.
“I was. I’m second-guessing myself right now though,” he says with a small laugh. He leans forward. “But hear me out. We had fun the other night and you’re the best actress I know. Those girls totally bought it. So, we do that except somewhere nicer with all my professors.”
“I’m the only actress you know, and that wasn’t exactly an Oscar-worthy performance. Playing flip cup and giving you a few flirty looks isn’t the same thing as fooling a scholarship committee.”
“We don’t have to fool them. You will be my date.”
I hesitate. The water I just drank sits heavy in my stomach. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe it’s a dumb idea. I just thought of all the girls I could take on a fake date, you were the only one I trusted with the job. You get me, get what I’m going through.” His eyes are sincere and vulnerable.
I want to say yes, of course I do, but for as excited as I thought I’d be when, and if, Adam ever asked me out, I’m so thrown and torn about how my very real feelings might complicate the situation, that I’m quiet for several moments.
Will I be more disappointed if I go on a fake date with him or if he takes someone else?
The answer to that is a no-brainer. “What would I say if they asked about us?”
“It won’t be like that. No interrogations, just free drinks and mingling. I’ll handle any questions that might come up, and as a bonus, I get to be the guy with the hottest date.”
“Now you’re just buttering me up.”
“Is it working?” His grin is boyish and charming. Like I could ever say no to him.
“Yes. Okay. I’m in.”
Seize the freaking day.