Chapter 8
EIGHT
Beautiful sunsets need cloudy skies. Look for the moments of beauty today!
“So, how was it?” Dakota asks the next morning as she gets ready. I’m still in bed and she’s rummaging through my makeup searching for the eyeliner she lent me.
“It’s in my purse, I think,” I say and point to where it sits on my desk.
She dumps the contents on the bed and laughs. “How do you find anything in here?”
I sit up and grab the eyeliner. “Like that.”
She snatches it and then sits at my vanity to sharpen and use it. Her gaze meets mine in the mirror. “Did something happen? Was he a dick to you because so help me, I’ll—”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Then what happened? Honestly, I expected you to wake me up when you got home last night to spill every detail.”
That’s what I’d expected to happen too, but after I got home from the worst date in the history of mankind, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Giving a play-by-play will remind me of the horror. Kind of like now as an image of Adam wide-eyed and swaying flashes through my head.
“It was… awkward,” I say finally. “I thought that I could compartmentalize it all, but I like him too much.”
And I may have cost him the scholarship if anyone finds out I lied through my teeth. I consider smothering myself with a pillow, but I deserve far worse—like sucking it up and dealing with the awful situation I got us in.
Dakota stands and checks the time. “I have to go, but I want to hear all about it later. I’m doing a tour at the Hall of Fame this morning. Lunch?”
“I can’t today. I need to finish the reading for my music theater history class this afternoon. Dinner?”
She shakes her head. “I’m pulling a double shift today, but why don’t you come to my game tonight.”
“Game?”
“Spikeball,” she says like I should know. “Our first game is tonight.”
“You were serious about that?”
“Yes.” She picks up a pillow that’s fallen on the floor and tosses it at me. “Will you come?”
“Of course,” I say because that’s what you do when your best friend asks you to go watch her play intramural sports. “It couldn’t have been softball or something that I at least understand?”
“Would that really make it better?” She grins as she leaves my room.
No, today I’m not sure anything would make it better.
I don’t see Dakota, Ginny, or the guys all day once I leave the apartment. I stay on campus between classes, skip lunch, and throw myself into avoidance. I’m getting an A-plus until Ginny tracks me down.
“How’d you find me?” I ask when she gets to the front of the stage. I’m sitting in the center with my textbooks laid out in front of me but I’m not really studying.
“Please. I know your spots. I tried University Hall first to see if you were drowning in coffee.”
“I wish,” I mutter.
“What’s that?” She smiles.
“Nothing.” I sigh. “What did you need?”
“I’ll tell you over dinner. Come on.”
My stomach growls. “I’m not eating today.”
“Umm… why not?”
“Punishment.”
“Rea, you cannot punish yourself for indulging sometimes. That’s twisted.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
Her brows lift in challenge.
“Fine, I’ll go with you to dinner but I’m only eating foods I don’t like.” That seems like a fair compromise. Healthy foods only—take that self!
After we go through the line at the dining hall and get our food, we take our trays and sit down. I glance around for Adam, seeing as how we’re sitting at the hockey team’s table.
“Their practice is running late,” she says as if she can read my thoughts.
I relax and pick around my salad. When I look up, Ginny is staring at me.
“What’s with the all black?” she asks. She looks me over like she’s just noticing my outfit.
“I’m in mourning.”
“Oh my god, who died?” Her expression is horrified for a moment.
“No one. Just my fake relationship and any chance of ever dating your brother.”
She laughs and then coughs and holds up a hand while she takes a drink of her water. “I’m sorry, what?”
I hadn’t planned on confessing any details of last night, but once I start, I can’t stop. And maybe that really is the punishment I deserve because it’s just as awful when I start remembering all the little details that I managed to forget.
Ginny listens intently and even manages not to laugh. Though I can tell how badly she wants to as she smashes her lips together in a flat line.
“It sounds like you did him a solid. I’m sure he was appreciative, and you’re just making too big of a deal out of it.”
“No, you’re wrong. It was the biggest train wreck since Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.”
“Oh, please, it couldn’t have been that bad. Also, I loved Jelena.”
“I thought he was going to faint. He got sweaty and pale, and no words were coming out of his mouth.”
She grimaces. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound good. I’ve only seen him like that one other time when he had to give an impromptu speech at an award banquet.”
I groan.
“But I’m sure you just took him by surprise.”
“Oh, I took him by surprise all right, but not the good kind of surprise. The truly scary kind that should only happen in cheesy horror films.”
“Well, let’s find out.” She nods and her gaze goes above my head.
My entire body lights up and I just know he’s here even without looking. Maybe our shared trauma has forever linked us.
“Please don’t tell anyone else about the fake engagement,” I whisper while we’re still alone. “I’ll tell Dakota eventually, but I can’t do it right now. Retelling it was almost as painful as living it the first time.” I’m calling that good as far as punishment goes.
She laughs and smiles. “You’re so dramatic, Rea. I love you. I won’t tell anyone. But speaking of secrets, tell him the truth.”
She stands as the guys join us. “Hey, let’s sit somewhere else today.”
Heath glances to me and then Ginny trying to figure out what’s going on, but she pulls him along.
Mav tries to set his tray down, but Heath pulls him back. “I think she means all of us.”
“This is our table. We always sit here,” he says.
“Let’s switch it up today,” Ginny says smoothly, then turns to her brother. “Can you stay and help Rea with a problem she’s having?”
She doesn’t give him any time to answer before she herds the rest of the group away from us.
Adam places his tray down in front of me. “Is it okay if I sit?”
Instead of answering, I motion for him to have a seat.
He opens a bag of chips as he stares at me. “A problem, huh?”
“Not really. She knows about last night and is trying to give us time to talk.”
He nods slowly.
“I’m so sorry. I feel awful about the entire thing.”
“I told you, it’s fine. Though I probably have to tell Dr. Salco the truth. As much as I want to win, I wouldn’t feel right about getting the scholarship based on a lie.”
“You’re a good guy.” Somehow that makes me feel worse. “Blame me. Tell her I had food poisoning, or that I had too much to drink.”
“I’m not throwing you under the bus. I could have stopped you and I didn’t.”
I’m not sure a force of nature could have stopped me, but I appreciate him saying so. I even feel a little better now that I know he doesn’t hate me.
“I forgot that you went to high school nearby. What was Janine like?” he asks between bites.
“Smart and dedicated. She’s always been really competitive and driven. Her parents were hard on her to do her best and get good grades.”
“You two were close?”
A stab of guilt makes me look down at the table. “Yeah. We were.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing, really. We’re so different. When we got to Valley, we started running with completely different groups of friends and we lost touch. I met Dakota and we became inseparable. Plus, she’s been dating Sean forever, so she spent a lot of time with him.”
“Makes sense. She’s tough. We’ve been competing for years.”
“Yeah, about that. She’s my age; how is she already graduating this year?” It’s been bugging me since last night. I knew she was premed, but I never imagined she was the person Adam was competing with.
“I think she said she came to Valley with like thirty hours of college credit. Plus, she’s always taking big course loads, and she’s taken classes every summer. She’s intense.” He shakes his head. “If we weren’t always competing, I might even admire her for it.”
“Right. Yeah, I’d forgotten that she took a bunch of college credit courses during our senior year of high school. Meanwhile, I was partying and getting stoned with friends.”
“A stoner? Really?” His gaze narrows and he smiles at me. The first real smile I’ve seen since before I told all his professors we were engaged.
“For a short time. It wasn’t really my thing, but I gave it a shot.”
He doesn’t respond at first but keeps smiling at me to the point I feel a blush creeping up my neck.
“Thank you for last night. Seriously, you were amazing. Everyone loved you. And I’ll take care of everything.”
Everything being my big, fat lie.
“You’re welcome,” I say. “So, it’s over? Now you just wait to find out who won?”
He gets that panicky look from last night. “I still have to give a speech.”
“Right, the speech. What do you have so far?” I am desperate to move this conversation away from last night even if it means making small talk about his speech.
“Nothing.”
“Are you going to wing it? Because I feel like I should warn you, Janine is a pretty good speaker. She was valedictorian of our class and had students, parents, even some teachers in tears with her graduation speech. She doesn’t come across as someone who could command an audience, but the girl can perform when the pressure is on. ”
“No, I know. We’ve done group projects together before. She’s great.” He blows out a breath. “I don’t love talking in front of people.”
“You’re afraid of speaking in public?” I ask, maybe a little too accusatory. “But you’re team captain. I’ve heard about your amazing pep talks in the locker room and on the bench.”
“That’s different.” He shrugs. “And I prefer my phrasing to yours.”
I roll my eyes. “No one loves talking in front of people.”
“You do,” he points out. “You’re unbelievable. Getting up on stage and putting yourself out there. That’s so much harder than yelling at the guys to pump them up. You’re fearless. I admire that.”
“Me? Fearless? You’re joking, right?”
“The way you worked the room, talking to people, making them believe we were this bomb couple, and that I was some incredible guy they should all get to know—it was inspiring. You had me believing it you were so good.”
“That’s because I wasn’t acting. Not really. Exaggerating, yes. But make no mistake—I was terrified.”
“I don’t understand.” His hazel eyes hold mine.
Maybe it’s more punishment or maybe I’ve just reached the point where nothing could be scarier than last night, but I decide it’s time. Way past time.
“The story about how the first time I saw you and it took my breath away, how I had a crush on you for years…”
He stares blankly. Okay, apparently, I’m going to have to spell it out.
“Adam, I have had a crush on you for years. A really bad crush. So last night, it was scary for me—not because I was in a room full of strangers but because I was telling my story over and over again. Except with a much happier ending than the reality. And, look, I don’t want this to make our friendship weird.
It’s why I haven’t told you. Well, that and I’ve chickened out a dozen times. ”
He doesn’t blink for a long time. He drops the bag of chips to the table and leans back all while looking at me like I’ve grown two heads.
Yep, more punishment.
A slow smile spreads across his face at last. “You like me?”