Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
Things are looking up, Cancer. Especially in the bedroom. Expect mind-blowing orgasms on the regular.
“Did you write this?” I ask as I reread Adam’s text with what I can only guess is my daily horoscope.
“Of course, I did. A lot more where that came from too. Every day, baby.”
Since I saw Lori and told her I was done, she’s stopped emailing my horoscopes each morning. There’s a finality in that somehow. It was the one thing that tied us together all these years.
“You know she didn’t write the horoscopes, right? She just pulled them from some website and emailed them.”
“Well, how very unoriginal of her. Besides, it isn’t a horoscope so much as it’s a mantra for the day. And I’d say I already fulfilled today’s.” He winks.
Yes, yes, he did.
“Can you grab my ChapStick in that top drawer?” I ask Adam. He’s lying closest to my nightstand.
He tosses it to me and then asks, “What’s this?”
“Hmmm?” I slather my dry lips. There was a lot of kissing last night and this morning. I look over to see a piece of red paper folded up into a small square. “Oh no, give that to me.”
“What is it?!” He’s smiling now, more determined to see it. He’s unfolding it while I tackle him, trying to pull it free. He stands on the bed and holds it up high so I can’t reach it. Stupid height.
“Dear Adam,” he says and then falls quiet.
I sit on the bed and cover my face. Oh, god. Why didn’t I burn the thing?
“Wait, wait, wait…” He looks down at me. “Is this what I think it is?”
“If what you think it is, is the most embarrassing moment of my life, then yes. Seriously, give it to me.” I try sticking my bottom lip out. He is not moved by my pouty face.
“You put this in my room that night?” he asks and keeps reading.
“Yeah, I slid it under your door after a bad date and a bottle of wine. When I woke up the next morning, I knew I had to get it back.”
“Why?”
“I’m sorry. Did you get to the line about holding my heart in your hands?”
He chuckles and joins me sitting on the bed. “This is one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me.”
“Almost done. And, if you would have woken up and found that, we would never have gotten together.”
“You don’t know that.”
I stare at him disbelievingly.
“Okay, I probably would have thought it was a little over the top for a girl I’d barely talked to.” He pulls me onto his lap. “But I love that you had a bad day, got drunk, and your thoughts went to me. Do you promise to always think of me when you’re drunk?”
I think for a moment. “I do.”
“There was this one time…” he starts. “Right before spring break last year.”
I know which time he means immediately. It was just the two of us at his apartment while the rest of the group went to get food. I hung back that night just to spend more time with him. “I almost told you the night before you left, but I chickened out. Then you came back and started dating Maria.”
“Man, what an idiot I was,” he says, and then he more than makes up for it by kissing me until my alarm goes off. There goes my ChapStick.
“I have to go,” I say reluctantly.
“Five more minutes.”
“Can’t,” I say. “You said that at my last alarm, and this time I really do have to go.”
He loosens his hold. “Fine. I gotta get to the rink anyway. Will you come out with us after your show?”
“Yep. Also, you have glitter all over your face,” I tell him with a smirk and attempt to wipe it away. It’s hopeless.
He gets up, pulls on his jeans, and tucks the heart into his back pocket. “I’m keeping this.”
“No, it should be burned.”
“Too late. It has my name on it, and I want to frame it.”
I groan. He drops one more kiss on my lips. “See you after the game. Break a leg today.”
“Good luck,” I call after him.
“Don’t need luck. I’ve got your heart in my hands,” he says, voice fading as he walks out of my room.
Today’s final show is a matinee. There’s a difference in the air from just yesterday. Nerves are calmed, and all of those worst-case scenarios we all worried about have been thwarted temporarily. Ten minutes before showtime, we’ll all feel it again, but nothing is as terrifying as opening night.
Director Hoffman looks up as I walk backstage. “Reagan, good morning. You’re early.”
“I wanted to talk to you before everyone else got here.”
“Sure. Shoot.” He drops his clipboard to his side and opens his stance to me.
“I’m sorry that I missed a rehearsal and that I was late, but I worked hard for that part. Mila’s fantastic, but I want to finish out the show today.”
The lines around his mouth pull up as he smiles. “It’s yours. Mila called out sick. I think she’s actually sick today. That’s karma for you.”
“Wait, you knew that she was faking?”
“Please.” he scoffs. “This may be my first time directing, but I’ve seen it all before. You wouldn’t believe what kids will say to get out of class.”
“I’ll bet.”
“You did a great job yesterday. You found your fire. I know that I’ve been hard on you, but it’s because I know you can do better. You just need to believe in yourself. Not the character. You.”
“I think I’m starting to.”
“Good. Go get ready.”
I start toward the dressing room, and he calls my name.
“Yeah?”
“You’re a good mentor to Mila. I know she appreciates it, and so do I.”
“Thank you.”
Since the hockey team has a game today, the guys won’t be in attendance. Ginny comes before the show to make sure I’m set with makeup, then wishes me luck and heads out.
The matinee audience doesn’t have the same energy as the night show, but when we take our final bow, it’s to the same enthusiastic applause. Dakota’s in the front row cheering and clapping with a huge, proud grin on her face. I don’t think she’s ever missed a performance now that I think of it.
I scan the crowd out of habit, and my breath catches when I see her. Lori is on her feet, clapping with everyone else. My knees buckle, but I’m held up by the people on either side of me. We exit and the curtain falls for the final time.
I grab water and then head out front. I look for Lori, sure I imagined her, but there she is in the same spot, clutching her purse to her side, looking more than a little nervous.
She gives me the briefest nod and then disappears into the crowd exiting through the back doors.
I let her go. Maybe she needed her own closure. I have mine.
“You were amazing.” Dakota hugs me. “Someday when you’re a big star, do you promise to still be my best friend?”
“Please. I’m going to need a personal assistant.” I slip my arm through hers.
“And a personal trainer.” She runs in place.
A groan escapes from my lips, but she laughs it off. “Come on. If we hurry, we can make the end of the game.”